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Here I am in Post-Halloween Melt-Down—like when you left your bag of candy on the heater overnight. Actually, we had lots of Trick-and/or-Treaters come by, and I learned a lot of valuable lessons: First, don’t hand the bowl over to a greedy horde of kids—just give them each a couple of pieces and drop them into their bags. Second, if you want kids to come by, it helps to have a lot of decorations, and get in the spirit of things. Sitting on the porch is better than having people ring your bell. Third, after 9 PM you will get mostly kids that are too old to Trick-or-Treat, and they don’t even pretend to have costumes. If they drive up in a car, that is more of a drive-by than legitimate Trick-or-Treating. We had pumpkin lights, but then about 9:30 we said: “kill the pumpkins.”

Also, dogs don’t really enjoy Halloween, and even if you are just next door on your neighbor’s porch, giving candy to kids, they will frantically dig under the fence, bark at everyone, and make a big nuisance. No, they don’t enjoy being dressed in Halloween costumes and posing for pictures. But they will tolerate it, if they are promptly rewarded with snacks. Trick-or-Treat?

As Cy Coleman said, and Frank Sinatra sang: