I get awkward in new situations a lot.  I tend to sit back and watch how things unfold before I like to speak up.  The problem with that is, by the time I’m comfortable with the situation, the group has disbanded.  I’d be the guy at the concert waiting until after the slow song ends to pull out my lighter.  Because most of my thoughts before that would be on stupid things like “What would happen if they dropped their zippo onto somebody’s head?  There goes my $25 dollars I spent on my ticket!  I wonder where all the money goes anyway?  I bet you service fees are not even real.  They probably use the ‘service fee’ money to put into a pool, and the person(s) who guess closest (without going over) to the maximum ‘service fee’ a concertgoer will pay before they literally burn down a Ticketmaster location, they win the pool.  Or maybe it’s an elaborate insurance scam.  They keep adding service fees, then eventually somebody bombs the company and they get an insurance payment out of it.  Hey I should pull out my lighter I love this song!” 

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Apparently, this most recent issue of Bakotopia has caused a bit of a stir. The Haberfeld building rack has apparently met with some unsympathetic individuals (we’re not sure who exactly) who decided to trash the entire stack of the Millionaires issue.  And we also found an issue with the cover ripped off but the rest intact in the downtown rack. 

We’re still a bit unsure as to what might have set it off, but then going back through the content we realized there is a lot that a super-conservative type may find offensive. 

Aside from the three young women who grabbed the cover for their appearance at the Rockin’ Roots festival, we also think the Reefer Madness musical plug may have caused someone to react.  Then again, the curious positioning of the ‘Raising Bakersfield’ ad next to the article on gay marriage – and the definitely controversial graphic that Eric had kindly created to run with the piece (for those of you without the hard copy yet, it’s the gay flag with a cross in front of it with wedding rings around the base). 

Personally, I think it’s either SamG’s food stamp challenge, or simply somebody who is angry that Stockdale Music is offering a rock camp for girls (no not geology camp). 

We really have nothing to go off of, so it could be a number of other factors which have nothing to do with conservativism.  Color combinations, advertisements, things that are “FREE” (in capital letters only), somebody with a vendetta against events calenders (I’ve had my qualms with them too).

Actually, I think it’s the glossy paper.

GO GET ONE AND SEE WHAT'S CAUSING THE RIOT!
(CLICK ON COVER AND FIND A RACK WITH OUR NEW MAP!)

Someone posted this survey on myspace.  I'm not saying there aren't equivalent examples for mexicans/blacks/etc... but I happened to stumble on this one and it irritated me.   I'm tired of people trying to pin me into a box because I'm white.  I've already posted an article on this a long time ago titled "Don't Call Me White".  So feel free to leave thoughts and whatnot.*

*By thoughts I mean constructive ones, not "Damn Mexicans!, or Stupid White people!"  Non-divisive!

[] You went to a private school
- I first began questioning my 'whiteness' when I was forced against my will to go to public school and sit in classes along with ... 'minorities'   By 'private school' I mean a diverse, low income public school. 

[] You watch/watched the show Laguna Beach
- anybody who watches this show should be shot

[] You watch/watched the show American Idol (first season only)
- Apparently "America's Next Top Model" is for mexicans

[] You watch/watched the show OC
-anybody who watches this show should be tazed

[X] You know what a poncho is

[x] You have listened to a band called Fuel
- I think there is only one band called 'Fuel', but variations like 'Gasoline' and 'Petroleum Products' are in my i-pod too if that counts.


[X] You've shopped at American Eagle, Aeropostale, Hollister, Abercrombie &Fitch, Krew, OR Hot Topic
- The black people that shop at those stores are only white people in disguise.


[x] You have/had a dog that is NOT a pitbull
- silly minorities and their inability to own dogs that aren't pitbulls... I also never knew my sister was black/hispanic/not white, but dogs speak louder than reality.


[] You bend the bill of your hat
- Only white people do this


[X] You own a pair of dc's/converse/etnies/vans
- I've never seen a non-white person wearing any of those shoes!

[] You/Your parent(s) drive cars with leather seats
- caddilacs don't count because there are black people and mexicans who drive them.


[X] Your main language is English
- Germans and Swedes are definitely not white then.



[x] You say the word DUDE a lot
- only when I'm referencing the old Nickelodeon show "Hey Dude!" and when I say things like "Dude, I love how I have white privilege!"

[] You think cops are awesome
- Fuck the police! Especially in Bakersfield where the force is comprised of a significant amount of minorities - including women! Oh, and when I get pulled over I exclaim "Yay! I'm going to get a ticket for speeding! Hurray because cops are awesome and I'm a tool!"

[X] You have absolutely no idea what twista is saying when he raps
- maybe if I listened to twista I would... but me, being a white person, am incapable of relating to another group of people who are not living off of trust funds while snorting caviar through their 24k gold nose jobs.


[X] You listen to rock
- Thank God Jimi Hendrix is dead! He wouldn't know what to say!

[X] You know who Willie Nelson is
- do you not?

[] your parents give you money when you ask
- Yes, my parents, unlike a minority's parents, will give me money at the drop of a hat. A very expensive hat mind you.


[] Your parents just hand you money for no reason at all

- DEFINITELY a white person trait. Because not only am I given money all the time without having to work for it, I have never ever come across any minority who has not scraped together a measly sum of money over four to five months just to purchase their starbucks/cell phones/rims/expensive clothes. ONLY white people have any money at all and there are no poor white people! (Especially in Bakersfield)

[] You wear flip flops with a lot of your clothes
- I wear cowboy boots and doc martins

[X] You know what meatloaf tastes like
- and what they sound like

[X] You have said awesome more than 100 times in a week
- only the week the pope was here

*My addition
[ ] You base your assumptions about white people on show like Laguna Beach, The OC and just as distant of a social relationship as white people do with minorities, while simultaneously disregarding significant minority achievements over the years as 'flukes' or as 'selling out to whitey'

Now take how many X's you put and multiply it by 5...Then
post saying im % white.
**

**this was just tagged on at the end, I don't care if people actually take the survey.

Any suggestions? 

It’s finally happened.  There has been research now suggesting that too much soy is bad for you.  I haven’t read it or looked into it personally, it’s all hearsay at the moment.  But it has reinforced my conclusion.  We are all going to die.  No matter what we do, eat, breathe, insert – we will ultimately meet an unpleasant death (or pleasant).  It would take way too much time to try and figure out exactly what is good for you, to what extents, and at which quantity it starts becoming ‘bad’ for you and then couple it with the combinations that you would have to consume to avoid adverse effects.  That’s why you should take the simpler approach:  find something that you like, which is undoubtedly going to kill you, and then see how it is going to kill you.  Diabetes sound too slow for you?  Go for the heart attack!  It’s like a jack-in-the-box, you turn the crank and enjoy the great music until BAM!  Up until that point, everything is good!  Are you ok with this?  Now you’re free!  I can see this becoming a fashion statement in the geriatric community of the future.  Back in the day, everyone had to die the same way.  It was either “mill accident” here, or “black plague” there.  But now, your options are endless!  Everything causes cancer – just decide which cancers you want the least and then modify accordingly.   So get out there and live to your little hearts content (it doesn’t have much time!).