I walked into the bathroom on my floor and immediately upon entering I heard it ... the sound of a juicy squirty turd coming out of someone’s ass.

I entered the next stall, thinking how uncomfortable she must feel since I walked in while she was in the middle of her business.  How she was probably trying to hold in the next one until I made some noise or left.  Sure enough, as I rattled the seat cover holder she squirted out another ... then as I pulled onto the toilet paper roll, another. 

Good god it stunk.  I couldn't pull my pants up fast enough.  I did not need "ode de shit" stench, and I figured the faster I got out of there, the faster that poor soul could finish.  As I washed my hands I was thinking "Yep, that's why I go down to the deserted 2nd floor bathroom and do my business"  Thank you very much.  That bathroom has like 10 stalls, is usually dark, and very private.  The bathroom up here has 3 stalls, it's well lit, and echoes like a mofo.

Normally I sing twinkle twinkle little star in my head as I wash my hands ... but all I could manage was a quick squirt of soap, a hasty rinse, and a grab of paper towels to open the door with.  I kind of shuddered as I went back down the hall to my little slice of corporate hell.  Oh and I couldn't help but take notice of the shoes ... my sick curiosity of maybe later finding out who the culprit was.