I'm currently awake at 10:09 am ... now that doesn't seem like an amazing feat, but for me it's almost against the odds.  See, my loving drug therapist prescribed me a wonderful medication that works extremely well at giving me a longer fuse, when I'm awake.  It provides me with the splendor of being able to not tune into all the little annoying noises and only focus on what is at hand.  (Except yesterday at the retched dollar theater when I began having a panic attack that the drunk man kicked out was going to come back and shoot us all.  EVERY little noise caught my attention - from the doors continuously opening and closing, to the two screaming children, the mother smacking one of them, and another lady popping her bubble gum.  Gotta love those anxiety attacks.)  Anyway.  I found there is one major downside to my coveted Geoden ... it knocks my ass out.  Okay, that's fine for at night, when I take it ... but you'd think that would wear off after an 8 hour sleep.  Oh no!  Of course it can't ... instead for the last week I've been to work for maybe a total of 8 hours thanks to this "miracle" drug.  Well, it did make me tolerate my co-workers in that sense. 

 

See, after forcing myself awake around 7:45 (I have to be to work at 8:30) the last few weeks I've made it to work, but then start falling asleep at the wheel.  Normally if I quickly got a bit of caffeine, and of course it couldn't just be a cup of regular office sludge ... no it had to be the high octane double latte from Starbucks, I'd make it through the day in a whirl.  Not this last week.  No matter what I did I could not stay awake.  Monday I made it through, but I'll attribute that to the fact that a co-worker I enjoy talking to was at her desk and I was able to go bullshit with her until she took me to Starbucks to get my body fuel.

 

Tuesday and Wednesday I felt crummy anyway - my lungs hurt and I just felt weak ... chalk it up to a cold, allergies, and chronic bronchitis.  So I stayed home.  I planned on going to work Wednesday, but completely slept through my alarm, so when I did groggily wake up at 8:30 I was like "Fuck it, I'm going back to sleep" to which I fell back into a coma until around 2:30.

 

Then Thursday.  Normally I love thursday, I don't know why ... maybe it's just knowing that friday is the next day and friday is a day of knowing at only 6 hours in my cube and I'm free for a weekend.  So I forced myself out of bed around 8, got dressed and ready (I now have this down to a science and manage to do all girly functions in under 15 minutes when pressed) and made it to work just a few minutes shy of 8:30.  Then the coma began to set back in.  My head kept slumping to my chest.  I tried walking around the building - my friend was not around, damn.  So I tried finding things to do ... nope, like a narcoleptic my head and eyes would not stay up.  So I lied to a co-worker, said I was going to the main building ... and made a bee line in my car to the nearest Starbucks, all the while trying to stay awake to avoid any major traffic collisions.  Then I stopped at Jack in the Box for a few hashbrowns, figured ... hmm, caffeine and grease ... that should do the trick.  I arrive back at my cubicle armed with my provisions and get about halfway through my cup of coffee ... all the while having to support my head and eyelids up with my hand and fingers.

 

It was not working.  At 10:30 I gave up the fight, finished a Confirming PO that HAD to be done, and said Adios to the nearest co-worker and sleepily drove the 2 miles home.  I don't even remember crawling into bed, but I woke up 4 hours later fully clothed in bed with my dog lazily curled up next to me.  I only got up because my kid was ringing the doorbell to be let in after school. 

 

Friday ... I had ALL intentions of going to work and trying it one more time.  Then the migraine struck in the middle of the morning, so I woke up, called work - told them I hoped to be in after my medicine (lovely Mydrin) had kicked in.  Fell back into a coma like sleep and awoke at 11:30 ... I figured, shit it was already nearly half the work day gone I might as well just not fight it and go back to sleep.  I woke again around 2:30 again to let my kid in after school.

 

You think with enough sleep to keep Van Winkle awake I'd be fine now.  Nope, I pissed off half of yesterday sleeping too.  So it was decided ... I did not take any Geoden last night just to see how I would react.

 

And I am awake, at 10:28 am ... bright eyed and bushy tailed.  I've even fed the dog, swept the kitchen, and made a cup of tea.

 

So now back to the drawing board ... since they took my ipod away I'll have to find another drug of sort to keep me sane at work.  I think I may just go for a medical mj license and just show up stoned daily.  Not sure how well I'll function, but at least their smacking and mexican antics won't annoy me, instead they'll make me roll on the floor laughing.

 

Cross your fingers my heart doesn't explode from going cold turkey on the geoden. ;)