The other day an Asian woman who works near me jumped up from her desk and exclaimed "Oh!  I betta' go to toilet befo' I pee pee in my pants!"

Today Chatty began eating chips around 9 am.  That is way way WAY too early for me to even attempt to tolerate the noise.  I said "Chatty, chew with your mouth closed!  Girl, you are making love to your chips!" (Thank you Twinkie for that line).

Chatty stopped and replied "But they aren't even crunchy I poured stuff on them!"  Not crunchy my butt.  Then she said "Someone woke up on the cranky side of the bed"  I replied "I'm always cranky" she replied "Well, you are crankier today!  You are too young to be menopausing already!"  I retorted "Well, I tried pills for that, but one made me a narcoleptic, the other just didn't work ... if they'd just give me back my iPod!"

I made sure my tone had a bit of laughter in it, but deep inside I was freakin serious that I wanted to rip those chips out of her hands and smoosh the bag on the floor coated with chili juice or not.  Lucky for her, she quieted her eating while I consumed my office sludge.