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First let me introduce my fellow dweller "Bitchbert" ... she's from the Darkside.  I've mentioned her before, the one cubicle dweller I actually enjoy talking to. 

Bitchbert:  Hey, CD … I have found at least one of the bathroom culprits.  I'm not sure what this person consumes, but it should be registered as a biohazard on the other side.....

CD:  I think I know who it is, I walked in right after you left and she was leaving.

Bitchbert:  Was it bad?  I have been noticing for a while and it’s usually the same person...code name ELF

CD:  Yeah, nasty!  I actually started gagging.

Bitchbert:  Then yep, it is confirmed.  ELF is a potential health hazard.  But the whole trying to be stealth thing is just so wrong...  Ummmm, there aren't enough deterrents to coming here that we need that as well? Maybe she doesn't know?

CD:  Well, like they say ... a rat can't smell his own cheese. 

Bitchbert:  OMG, that was SO wrong.  So will this make it on the Blog?

CD:  It has too!  People must be warned of ELF's potentially deadly toxins.

Bitchbert:  Maybe there will be some sort of treatment to those that have already been exposed...  Maybe they could make gas-masks or oxygen available?  Maybe she should go outside...my dogs don't stink that bad.  Give her some air

CD:  That is the question ... how can we air her out without letting on that we know her secret? 

Bitchbert:  Well, since she doesn't seem to know/care, we could start with subtle things and progress as needed.  

CD:  Do they have vending machines that will drop an oxygen mask for a quarter?  We could put that up like they put up tampon machines...

Bitchbert:  Maybe we should invent one.  Like those perfume dispensers...

CD:  Hahah!  Oh we'd be millionaires!

Bitchbert:  At least we would be protected.  That is just so wrong and it seems like she is in there every time I am...hmmm, maybe she is just trying to get rid of me, no paranoia here.

CD:  She must have a little red button that flashes and lets her know, she's always in there when I'm in there too!  For being so tiny she excretes a lot of crap.

Bitchbert:  My sentiments exactly.  Maybe that is her version of the binge and purge.  Maybe she is just stinky...it’s a mystery, kinda like Bigfoot or UFO's