A blog about Personal Journals.
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Budget Cuts If you can't beat them, join them! Stuck on Alcatraz Sarcasma - from the makers of Damitol ... Office Etiquette in the trash Prison vs. Work Hello, it's Thursday! In the mood for ... A little static on your walkie talkie? Hominy, get it on the plate girl September 06 October 06 November 06 December 06 January 07 February 07 March 07 April 07 May 07 June 07 July 07 August 07 September 07 October 07 November 07 December 07 January 08 February 08 March 08 April 08 May 08 June 08 July 08 August 08 September 08 October 08 November 08 December 08 
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Today while I was visiting the bathroom a lady came in, took a pee, and then left.
Snide went into the kitchen after someone had popped a bag of popcorn. She was moving around and said something out loud - I think it was regarding popcorn. The Gerbil said, from her desk, "Something sounds, uh smells, gross in the kitchen" ... I raised my eyebrows and asked her "Freudian Slip?" to which she replied "Shhh ..."
Hmm, sounds like I shouldn't be the only one blogging in this office.
During one of my regular trips to the loo I went into a stall, and smelt the stink. Someone had left a funky funk, almost an old lady mothball combined with poo funk.
I placed the paper onto the toilet, pulled my britches down, and sat. Then I noticed the mint wrapper laying on the toilet paper holder. I laughed to myself and thought - lady, it's going to take alot more than a little freakin mint to cover up your stench. Tasty.
Today my boss offered to buy chatty, the gerbil, and I breakfast burritos. I like these days, hell I like free food any day. Now the catch is if they (La Mina) actually gets the order correct. I mean, my burrito is simple - potatoes, a little cheese, and bacon. Nothing else. Everytime, no fail, they've come back with a burrito that also had beans on it, or eggs. I don't know what is worse.
I listen to the girls place the order, and everytime they are very clear on my simple burrito ... so we'll see if the place will actually listen today and not think "No eggs? No beans? Can't be!" Yes, it can be. I am a very white girl who likes her breakfast burritos very plain. I'll keep you posted.
So new policy here ... apparently if you are late to work or take time off they bring in a temp to fill your spot and make up the hours. What?
This morning I woke up with a migraine. I took some meds, called and told them that I'd be a few hours late because the meds had to kicked in and wear off a bit (unless you want me driving to work like a drunk woman). 3 hours later I show up and there's some chick sitting at my desk, she has paperwork everywhere. Okay, fine whatever. But then when I sit my purse down she asks "Am I supposed to move?" "Uh, yeah ... this is my desk." My cubicle, my hole, my cave, my DWELLING. Do you not see my name plaque? So she gathers up her things and moves elsewhere, I find my stack of paperwork on the little platform where I keep my plant. Fine, sit at my desk, BUT DON'T MOVE MY THINGS! Then I'm informed that I'm charged or something for the 3 hours. What?! I ask, "Don't I get sick leave?" I'm told that I do, that she (another cubicle dweller) just has to keep track of the time and she doesn't even understand the process. That they are filling in spots that are empty because phones weren't being answered or something. HUH?! I'm assuming this is company wide and not just our division ... still, this is crap. Fucking bureaucracy. If I didn't make so much sitting here on my ass surfing the internet as I do, and didn't get the great healthcare that I get ... I'd find another job.
So it's friday and the window washer survived his two days of window washing.
Yesterday he was bumping and thumping again, then I heard a loud BOOM! and didn't see the shadow from his pulley system. So I jumped up, ran to the window and looked out to make sure he hadn't splattered in the street below. He must have been pulling is rig back up to the roof or whereever he keeps it. Then today rains. Do you think he thinks, damn and I just washed all those windows? Kind of like how you feel when you wash your car and it rains the next day, or the sprinklers aren't aimed correctly on the freeway and they splatter your vehicle. It's the Friday the 13th and nothing unusual has occured. My boss has jokingly blamed me for loosing his laptop charger, I asked if he'd like me to order a supply and keep them in stock like I do his pens. I just noticed that all the thumping and squeaking noises coming from the window was the window washer. I would not be able to be a window washer, it's bad enough my office is a cubicle, now imagine your office being a couple of boards held up by a pulley system ... On a side note, since I had a manic episode this month I am now completely broke and can't afford to pick up my refill of anti anxiety medication. This is day 2 without it and I'm feeling a bit of a panic attack just thinking about the window washer ... what if that stupid little pulley did break and he did fall? OMG! For some reason Chatty was throwing pens at the Gerbil. The Gerbil was on the phone and not paying attention. I asked, "Hey, can I throw pens at her too?" to which Chatty replied "Sure, she's not paying attention"
So I got here a little late as usual. I always stay a little late anyway.
Snide (the head secretary in this joint) is like "Does anyone have any schedule changes? Does anyone have any schedule changes" as she wonders around navigating her wide butt down the aisle. I don't ... so I don't answer. I just glare in today's usual manner. Then I hear my name. Oh bitch don't even start with me today. "Has Cubicle Dwellers schedule changed again to 8:30?" Her way of announcing to everyone that I was late, but you know what? I was only 5 minutes late you twit, just because you can't see me doesn't mean I can't see you, or hear you. Right at that moment my boss was walking past my desk and heard me loudly mumble "No, it has not changed you freakin idiot" ... he just glanced at me and moved quickly away knowing it's best to just leave me alone. Then what does she have to go and do? Call me. I'm actually glad she didn't walk over here and ask me to my face because my face is not very shiny happy and that could have been misinterpreted ... or maybe it just tells the truth. "Has your ..." I cut her off, "No, it has not changed." "Okay, thank you!" She says in her perkiest voice. Oh now don't even tell me that someone has a case of the Moondays, I might just have to ... Hey, the Gerbil left ... the noise has stopped. Oh thank god, free at last, free at last. Nevermind, she's back ... but drinking water ... so maybe that means she done with her morning styrofoam snack. Nevermind, she is now shoveling something else into her mouth. At least it's a quiet food.
"Want some, they're organic, they're good" ... said the Gerbil to Slowpoke.
I don't care how good your organic piece of crap rice cake disguised styrofoam chunks are ... you don't need to eat them like a freaking gerbil. Over and over and over and over and over. Seriously, even the fat girl can eat them quieter. The Gerbil might as well be tossing them up in the air and catching them in her mouth. Yes, I just snarled. Again. And nobody's gonna go to school today, Today, I went to work ... for the first time in days. I didn't take my "give me a longer fuse med" for the past two nights to see if I could manage to stay awake throughout the day. And I have, but I have also been awake for what feels like all night. First the dog, normally he doesn't wake me up, but last night EVERYTIME he moved I woke up. Then the helicopter, then the trash man, then, then, then ... Just give me my damn iPod back and no one gets hurt.
I'm currently awake at 10:09 am ... now that doesn't seem like an amazing feat, but for me it's almost against the odds. See, my loving drug therapist prescribed me a wonderful medication that works extremely well at giving me a longer fuse, when I'm awake. It provides me with the splendor of being able to not tune into all the little annoying noises and only focus on what is at hand. (Except yesterday at the retched dollar theater when I began having a panic attack that the drunk man kicked out was going to come back and shoot us all. EVERY little noise caught my attention - from the doors continuously opening and closing, to the two screaming children, the mother smacking one of them, and another lady popping her bubble gum. Gotta love those anxiety attacks.) Anyway. I found there is one major downside to my coveted Geoden ... it knocks my ass out. Okay, that's fine for at night, when I take it ... but you'd think that would wear off after an 8 hour sleep. Oh no! Of course it can't ... instead for the last week I've been to work for maybe a total of 8 hours thanks to this "miracle" drug. Well, it did make me tolerate my co-workers in that sense.
See, after forcing myself awake around 7:45 (I have to be to work at 8:30) the last few weeks I've made it to work, but then start falling asleep at the wheel. Normally if I quickly got a bit of caffeine, and of course it couldn't just be a cup of regular office sludge ... no it had to be the high octane double latte from Starbucks, I'd make it through the day in a whirl. Not this last week. No matter what I did I could not stay awake. Monday I made it through, but I'll attribute that to the fact that a co-worker I enjoy talking to was at her desk and I was able to go bullshit with her until she took me to Starbucks to get my body fuel.
Tuesday and Wednesday I felt crummy anyway - my lungs hurt and I just felt weak ... chalk it up to a cold, allergies, and chronic bronchitis. So I stayed home. I planned on going to work Wednesday, but completely slept through my alarm, so when I did groggily wake up at 8:30 I was like "Fuck it, I'm going back to sleep" to which I fell back into a coma until around 2:30.
Then Thursday. Normally I love thursday, I don't know why ... maybe it's just knowing that friday is the next day and friday is a day of knowing at only 6 hours in my cube and I'm free for a weekend. So I forced myself out of bed around 8, got dressed and ready (I now have this down to a science and manage to do all girly functions in under 15 minutes when pressed) and made it to work just a few minutes shy of 8:30. Then the coma began to set back in. My head kept slumping to my chest. I tried walking around the building - my friend was not around, damn. So I tried finding things to do ... nope, like a narcoleptic my head and eyes would not stay up. So I lied to a co-worker, said I was going to the main building ... and made a bee line in my car to the nearest Starbucks, all the while trying to stay awake to avoid any major traffic collisions. Then I stopped at Jack in the Box for a few hashbrowns, figured ... hmm, caffeine and grease ... that should do the trick. I arrive back at my cubicle armed with my provisions and get about halfway through my cup of coffee ... all the while having to support my head and eyelids up with my hand and fingers.
It was not working. At 10:30 I gave up the fight, finished a Confirming PO that HAD to be done, and said Adios to the nearest co-worker and sleepily drove the 2 miles home. I don't even remember crawling into bed, but I woke up 4 hours later fully clothed in bed with my dog lazily curled up next to me. I only got up because my kid was ringing the doorbell to be let in after school.
Friday ... I had ALL intentions of going to work and trying it one more time. Then the migraine struck in the middle of the morning, so I woke up, called work - told them I hoped to be in after my medicine (lovely Mydrin) had kicked in. Fell back into a coma like sleep and awoke at 11:30 ... I figured, shit it was already nearly half the work day gone I might as well just not fight it and go back to sleep. I woke again around 2:30 again to let my kid in after school.
You think with enough sleep to keep Van Winkle awake I'd be fine now. Nope, I pissed off half of yesterday sleeping too. So it was decided ... I did not take any Geoden last night just to see how I would react.
And I am awake, at 10:28 am ... bright eyed and bushy tailed. I've even fed the dog, swept the kitchen, and made a cup of tea.
So now back to the drawing board ... since they took my ipod away I'll have to find another drug of sort to keep me sane at work. I think I may just go for a medical mj license and just show up stoned daily. Not sure how well I'll function, but at least their smacking and mexican antics won't annoy me, instead they'll make me roll on the floor laughing.
Cross your fingers my heart doesn't explode from going cold turkey on the geoden. ;)
It's 10 am ... In the last hour and a half that I've been in my cubicle I've been trying my hardest to stay awake.
I don't know why I'm so drowsy, I got enough sleep this weekend ... my eyes are fighting to stay open. So far I've drank a cup of coffee, then ate a bag of popped corn and drank a room temperature Pepsi. I'm eyelids are still heavy. The Man and Slowpoke are chatting nearby ... Babble, Babble, Babble. I just want to go home and sleep. |
Local time is currently Mon Dec 1, 2008 10:02:00 pm PST
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