It's a sad sad morning in my little cubicle world.  THEY have blocked myspace.  I actually could care less except the one saving grace I've had lately was "talking" to another disgruntled cubicle dweller via the myspace mail system.

I better go pour myself a cup of coffee so I can digest this, I have a feeling it's going to be a long day.

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"Cubicle Dweller, what's astroglide?"

I slowly looked up and across my cubicle at the Gerbil who is looking at me very questioningly.

"Um, do you really want to know?"

"Yes, I need to know"

I smile and motion "come here" with my finger.  She approaches my cubicle like a child about to learn a new secret.

"It's lubricant, usually used for sex ..."

"Oh!"

"... butt sex"

"Oh!" Her eyes widened and a big smile crept across her face.

Then she had some explaining to do.  Apparently The Man gave her some Bodyglide for running, but she's been walking around all day telling people he gave her Astroglide because she forgot the name, had heard of Astroglide before so assumed that was what she had.  Apparently he wasn't sure what it was either.

They both trotted back toward me laughing with their new knowledge.  I decided to give her one more word of advice ...

"It's what you look for in a man's medicine cabinet the first time you meet him ... if it's in there, run the other direction"

The Man nearly choked laughing.

Then Slowpoke came in and the Gerbil asked him if he knew what Astroglide was.  He didn't so she exclaimed, "See!  I'm not the only one who didn't know!"

My reply ... "What?  Am I the only derelict in this office?"

Apparently not because now she is telling Slowpoke that so and so knew ... he even made the right sound effect for it.  Gross.

This morning as I sat down and turned my computer on,  almost immediately a smell invaded my nostrils and made my stomach turn.  I thought to myself, "What is that?!"

Loudly I said, "Something is stinky"

My boss replied, "Sorry."

I joked, "Listen, I know you like to party like a Rock Star on the weekends but that doesn't mean you can ignore your personal hygiene."

I think someone urinated in my cubicle. There is a horrible smell that only I seem to be able to smell. I made my boss sit here and he can't smell anything, but it smells like one of those nasty bathrooms on Route 66.

I have images of the janitors partying after hours. Gross.

Oh gawd I hope it's not coming from my keyboard ... ew ew ew!  I'm going to have to wipe this whole place down with sani wipes now.