It's no secret, but if you look close enough you'll see my little horns holding up my broken halo ...

Just another day at the office, right?  With the weather so moody I'm feeling a bit impish, thank god it's casual Friday, but again, even though I'm wearing comfy jeans and a fuzzy sweater, I'd much rather be in my pj's and slippers.  Knowing I'd need a little help getting through another doldrum day I ground some good coffee beans before I left for work and made a good pot of coffee once I arrived.

The morning has been rather uneventful, a little forgery, a little online window shopping, and then Sweet Caroline began singing Christmas carols and exclaiming that she couldn't hear them from so and so's desk, and constantly asking if the Stealth Elf was okay each time she made any remark too loudly while on the phone.

I guess all these little things led to her being my target of the morning ...

She began neurotically cleaning the cube next to me so my already annoyed sinuses were being invaded with a strong lemon fresh scent, which she loudly exclaimed that she enjoyed the smell of.  Well at least that makes one of us.

With a new staff member arriving on Monday she checked the drawers of the currently unoccupied cube and discovered a few belongings in the drawers - not to mention Chatty and the Gerbil's boxes on the top of the desk.  Assuming all the items belonged to them, she wandered off to find our head secretary to see where she could put them since Chatty and the Gerbil weren't in the office. 

Knowing perfectly well that the items in the drawers were mine, I quickly removed them and slid them under my desk while she was off sniffing cleaner.    When she returned she exclaimed to the head secretary, "I SWEAR there was stuff in here!  There was a red bag with Christmas stuff in it!  I know there was!  Oh my god, someone is making me think I'm crazy!" 

larger view

Hunting season has officially begun ...

larger view

As I sit here listening to the window washer clump clump against the windows, I have begun to crave cheese.  Cheese?!  Of all things ... especially when I'm a lactard (which doesn't stop me from enjoying dairy products - just puts those in close proximity in danger of hazardous gasses if my tummy chooses to act up). 

Hmm, some little mini toast cracker things with goat cheese, or some of that amazing garlic herb cheese dip stuff they had at "Burn the Witch" (speaking of that, someone please tell me where you bought it or give me the recipe).  Oh man I am making myself hungry!

On a side note - as I drove to work today I noticed two women walking down the street holding hands.  No biggie, right?  Not to the guy waiting for the light to change in the turn lane - he couldn't take his eyes off of them and had this rather dumbfounded kind of gross horny look on his face.  I just smiled and shook my head.

And again my mind drifts back to cheese ... mmm, cheese ...

The Office Fashion Police (that would be me) is on a mission!

You might remember a few blogs back that I reported being hopped up on allergy medicine and believing I might have slept through to Halloween when I observed a hot mess in f* me boots and a polyester 60's style go-go dress sashaying down the hallway.

Since then I have bumped into this woman several times and have now been confirmed by my mole on the dark side (Bitchbert), that she does indeed occupy a cubicle in close vicinity.  Now it's time to break out the camera phone and catch this Gastric Cougar, code name Mama Cass, in action.  Stay tuned, I'm on the prowl ... and hopefully I'll be able to bring you photos of this 60's go-go throw back's wardrobe.