I came home from work today, sat on my couch, and accepted my current fate.  So maybe the mortgage company is calling for last months payment, and maybe I'm going to have to work an evening part-time job working minimum wage (which I haven't done since 2000) - but hey, new people to meet and maybe even bitch about my day job to ...

As I began absentmindedly eating pistachios I had the most random thought ... I eat nachos like a prissy white girl.  Yesterday during my break I picked up an order of steak nachos.  I thought about how I'd sat at my desk eating them with a fork, occasionally making a slight crunchy noise when I squished the becoming soggy chips into bite size pieces to fit onto my fork, then loaded them into my mouth chewing quietly.  I remember as I ate each bite I imagined how much noise my co-workers would be making if they were the nacho eaters ... how they would crunch and chomp and suck and smack every single morsel.

Suddenly I realized I was chewing my pistachios with my mouth open, slowly, but deliberately.  It was taking a lot of effort on my part to keep my mouth open and mimicking the noises I could hear them making on a regular basis.  My friend looked over at me with an odd expression that asked, "What the hell are you doing" ... I said, "If I can't beat them, join them"  I swallowed loudly, sucked the salt off my fingers with enthusiasm, then grabbed my bottle of water and glugged it down loudly as if I was drowning, then I released a big, "Aaauughhhhhhh!".

I wonder if I can pull it off, I wonder how they'll react?  You know, they probably won't even notice and I'll just end up with sore jaw muscles ... but it might be fun to try a few times, and if that doesn't work, then I'll just start tapping my fingers like racing horses and see if that raises an eyebrow or two.

I’ve been a little quiet lately … I’ve been planning my escape.  Unfortunately I didn’t get further than my foot halfway through a door.  It did feel a bit liberating, and the thought of actually leaving was extremely frightening.

I think maybe I should go with "Mike K." on this one ... but first I should weigh the side affects.  Oh, those are a little nasty ... I think I'll just stick with having my co-workers run from the room when I walk in.