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(Jiggler? Is that even a word?)

Yesterday I was on a mission to find a good pair (or two) of exercise shorts. How dare I even shop for shorts! I swore off shorts over a year ago after one day I awoke to find that I was… dun dun dun overweight! I’m thisclose to swearing off short-sleeve tops as well, but the only reason I haven’t is because I can’t afford to replace every item in my closet with muumuus. (sigh)

Anyway, I was lucky enough to find two pairs of shorts yesterday, now if only I could muster up the courage of actually sporting them. Sheesh! I had no problem wearing shorts when I was an itty bitty size 2/4, but let me tell you I’m definitely not a fo’ no mo’!

I really needed to buy these shorts though. I’m the only girl in the whole gym that I frequent that wears long workout pants with a sweater wrapped around my waist to cover up the jiggly boo-tay! (As if that’s not going to attract attention to the rump that’s suffocating underneath all that clothing.) Not only that, how long can I really last with a sweater in this Bakersfield heat!?

Seriously, there are so many people at the gym of so many different shapes and sizes, but it seems like no one at that gym, no matter how overweight they are, have a backside that bounces when he/she runs. Not to mention, one that is nearly as wide as mine. Once upon a time my booty was a cutie, but obviously I failed to see that since I was a young, unconfident, insecure girl. Now I’m just an old, insecure woman who wishes she looked that way again. Sheesh!

Nevertheless, I am going to attempt to wear the shorts today… or maybe tomorrow. I just really hate to put these portly, flabby, cellulite infested thighs on display for the world to see. How could I torture the poor souls on the elliptical machines and stationary bikes behind me? And how do I get rid of my security blanket, or in this case my security sweater? The torture! Maybe this will be the motivation I need to get serious about my weight loss. Okay, that’s it. I’m dropping the sweater and getting into a pair of shorts. Aughhh! Wish  me luck!