For the last… oh, twenty-four-hours or so I have been describing myself as “Glad-Sad.”

They seem to be the best words I can think of to wrap around my feelings.

A part of me wants to just sit in the paradox, quietly, and another part of me wants to put my toe in, and cause a ripple, like Sojourner Truth said in her words, “while the water is stirring I will step into the pool."

I was all prepared to start a fire to keep me company on this Sunday morning, a sort of worship service here, alone – while the little ones are at the conventional form of worship, I thought, “I’ll worship here, at home, soulful fire time.” 

Katherine was home with me and she and I were getting things ready when she said, “You better call 1-800-Smoginfo and see if it is a no-burn day.”

I knew yesterday was a no-burn day so I figured we were in the clear.

I figured wrong. There went my fabulous worship idea.

Last night I attended a cast party for “Assassins” though like many theatre cast parties, folks from any show are welcome as the community itself comes like a family.  I mostly sat either on the floor of the living room or on the leather sofa.

Three favorite moments were when Kaitlin exclaimed over my middle-aged coolness because I was drinking Modelo… and then later, she relaxed her head on my shoulder and I got a good cuddle from an unexpected source and then Anthony came along and cuddled to her and it felt like a collective cuddle and finally when several people I respect a lot said they want to work with me, specifically.

Wow.

I needed that.

And in glad-sad tradition, it made my heart ache a bit, which makes me glad, because it means I am still alive and connected.

Yes. I think it is time to steep in the Glad-Sad space. It just feels right.