(A beloved oldie but goodie)

"Have a heart that never hardens, and a temper
that never tires, and a touch that never hurts."

Charles Dickens

My heart sometimes breathes on paper.

It pours stuff out that I didn't even know was
there, way deep down in the bottom of the well,
feelings and colors and sounds and tastes
and wretched memories tumble forth.

I sometimes get embarrassed by the volume
or the pitch or the vulnerable place I put myself -
apparently voluntarily only it doesn't feel like I
am the one doing the volunteering.

"Why did you have to go and do that!" my inner
critic mocks. "You went and made a fool of
yourself again. Why can't you just be satisfied
with being like everyone else?"

Sometimes my inner critic looks remarkably
like my eldest brother. Sometimes my inner
critic looks like Miss Pizarro, my third grade
teacher. Sometimes my inner critic looks
exactly like my reflection in the mirror when
I wake up after an unsatisfying sleep.

I have learned to gently hush the harshness
of my critic because when my heart breathes
on the paper, magic happens. I connect to
the divine. I move effortlessly through history,
space and time by listening to the rhythmic
pulses of my heart, the responding woooosh
of the blood through my veins as it
celebrates, rejoicing "I will keep beating,
yes, I will take care of you, yes – I love you."

Long ago William Woodsworth wrote the words,
"Fill the paper with the breathings of your heart"
and his breathings have now reached across
the ages to your breathings and your heart.

He climbed over and past his critic, through
his failures and successes, celebrated the
rhythmic pulses and responding wooosh to
be a part of your life today. His legacy remains
beyond the words alone.

Maxwell Anderson wrote: "If you practice an art,
be proud of it and make it proud of you. It will fill
your heart. "

Yes, Mr. Anderson, it will fill your heart. And if
we are especially blessed, it will fill the hearts
of others as well.

Pulse by pulse, breath by breath, yes by yes,
word by word.

= + = + = +

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