It has gotten to be funny. Almost.

My birthday is on Monday and Mom told me she is giving me something really cool for my birthday this year – she is all excited about it, she just doesn’t know how to deliver it exactly. So, she said, she would be sending me just a little token birthday gift for my big day.

Then I promptly forgot.

I was actually surprised when I saw the mail delivery truck pull up. I saw the box with Mom’s handwriting and I then I remembered.

I reached into the box and felt… “oh, it is clothes…” and then laughed to myself, “But it can’t be beige or off-white. Please, no beige or off-white.”

I am about the least beige or off-while person you would ever meet.

Purple. Yes. Fuschia. Yes. Royal Blue. Yes. The occasional Teal Green. Yes. Black. Yes. A really cool Grey. Yes.  Funky scarves. Yes. Beige – Off-White. You must be thinking of someone else.

For some reason my mother continually purchases me items that are beige or off-white.

It was like the years where she got me stuff that was the same stuff my sister wanted for Christmas the year before. She didn’t realize it, it was completely subconscious until I outlined the past years coordinated “Sue Christmas, Julie’s birthday thirteen months later – SURPRISE! It is what Sue wanted!”

For the record, I never, ever wanted a green slicker or Fry’s boots. I never liked brown velour sweaters or clothing that looks unisex. No. Thank you. Those were/are Sue things.  Not Julie things.

At least it isn’t the year when I gave her the world’s most specific list of possible items she could purchase for me…. And she sent me a red (another Julie no-no color) and off-white checked turtleneck and weird gift book. I hope Goodwill got good prices on them.

I tore open the package – felt softness – and there it was. Off-white. A sort of arty looking poncho thing… not bad looking, actually kinda like me… except for the color. But I can jazz it up, perhaps, with some personalization.

That’s it. I will treat it as a canvas.

And Mom means well. And besides, its just a token, right?

Yeah. That’s it.

 My brothers would be horrified to read this. Yeah, but they won't read it.