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There are times when I arrive at the theatre and my
heart just isn’t there.

Yesterday was one of those days. I didn’t feel
like being there. I wanted to be sitting by the
Kern River, where I had been earlier in the
morning, with my children. I wanted to be
watching the water rush past me, close enough
to dip my toes into as it flowed past.

I wanted to listen to the birds sing and laugh
as the salamanders scamper across boulders. I
wanted to recline and look up at the hillsides,
colored with purple wild flowers. I wanted to be,
just be, with my beloved children. I wanted to
feel fresh air against my cheeks and sunlight
splash across my shoulders.

I didn’t want to put on costumes and become
someone other than me.

I heard a voice ring in my ear. Bob Kempf, my
Director, “For the love of Tennessee Williams….”
It was something he had said to us during
rehearsal, a couple weeks previously, as motivation
for doing our best - for honoring Mr. Williams
and the words he wrote.

 I stood in the wings, waiting to go on stage. 
I heard it again.  “For the love of
Tennessee Williams….” 

Something in me shifted.

I stopped concerning myself with my selfish desires
and instead, focused on the love of a brilliant playwright,
someone who had written a supporting character so
vivid any actor could find juice in bringing her to life.

I did some quick individual warm ups and walked
onto the darkened, sacred stage.

Immediately I was sucked into that sacred theatre vortex.

I stayed there until curtain call, when I found myself
in the lobby for “meet and greet.”

I smiled into the eyes of folks who came by to meet me. 
I always figure I am just a random hand when people are
much more interested in shaking the hands of
Rikk, Sheila and Amy.

I found myself facing a woman who was probably somewhere in
her late 70’s.

She took my took my hand and said, "At the end of the show,
when you started crying...I looked at you and started
crying...too..."

I felt my chin start to quiver and my eyes filled up and I
said, "And now, you are making me cry all over again..."

Her chin quivered and her eyes filled up and she said...
"Me too..." and we laughed and hugged each other.

Yes. Once again, I heard the words, “For the love of
Tennessee Williams.”  For the love of the audiences.
For the love of the art itself.

For love.

A Streetcar Named Desire, written by Tennessee Williams and Directed by Bob Kempf  plays for two more weekends at the Spotlight Theatre, Located in the Historic Hayden Atrium Building on 19^th Street, just east of H,  in downtown Bakersfield. 

Call 634-0692 to make reservations.