Sitting at the counter in the National Cigar Store is always an adventure worthy of a Rudyard Kipling. While drinking coffee and chewing grounds just like any other red blooded American, my seat at the carnival becomes a window into the amazing lives of the multitudes.

       Today, my friend Augie has been explaining a variety of belief systems leading up to the ancient Romans. He says, the inherited gods vied for the affection and worship of the mobs because the rule of Rome- is the rule of mobs.

     In addition to Augie's wondrous stories and insights, we were in for a treat today  because a "Soap Opera's Anonymous" meeting was commencing. Most of the members of this group are women but some males also attend.

     Meetings open with a recital of Daily Recaps, Breaking News, and Headline News. This is all very business like though sometimes interrupted by an outburst of suppressed emotion.

     What follows is some of what Augie and I learned today:

     On All My Children, some hottie named Babe lip-smacked a hooligan named Josh and it was, like, forever- as in never again, dude.

     Then came As The World Turns, and in a "you go, girl" moment, Dusty says to Emily who is lusting over loot from a steamy session with Steve, "You conquer, girl!"

     The Bold and the Beautiful was a dud but Days of Our Lives livened things up because someone told Steve that EJ was released by the coppers due to insufficient evidence. One of the males at the meeting fainted away at this recap but his boyfriend slapped him once or twice and he was fine for the rest of the hour.

     But, it was One Life to Live that touched me the most because Vangie said to Cris that she would trade in her job any old day since he was a hot piece of ass. I found her way of saying this more than commodious to proper manners and although bordering on prim and proper, I found it titillating of her to say it so coyly.

     The Breaking News didn't roll 'em out of their chairs in fits of laughter but I was interested to find out NBC was pulling the plug on Passions and I can also report that only two women got the vapors. Fortunately, they held and supported each other while sharing feelings of loss, betrayal, and grief for a soon to be dead soap.

     There was hardly a dry eye in the house.

     As far as the Headline News went, it was a bust. I only learned that General Hospital's Carly operated on Robin and how that was extremely ironic. 

     Before Augie left, he reminded me of what Abraham Heschel said, "When I was young, I used to admire intelligent people; as I grow older, I admire kind people."

      I am not sure what Augie meant by that but as for the Soaps: the god's of Rome, they live.