Those are the words I said to my friend after he turned to me and asked "Did that really just happen?" after we watched a man jump on stage with Morrissey and dry hump his backside.

Women were screaming and crying and flinging themselves at him!  One very petite gal in a dress, heels, and top notch hair straight up flung herself across the stage, climbed up and monkey clutched him!  Her little legs wrapped around his waist, and she kissed him over and over as security tried to pry her off.  They finally managed and carried her out by the waist, and being so small her legs and arms were just flinging around in the air like a crazy little spider monkey.

Or how about the one woman who grabbed his arm and wouldn't let go as security kept yanking at her ... I thought she was going to rip his arm off!  But Morrissey kept singing, he didn't miss a beat.  He just kept ripping his shirts off, flinging them into the crowd and putting another one one.  The first time I was a bit stunned and immediately thought about the very first audition for that TV show "America's Got Talent" ...

This guy came on stage in pants and a robe.  He had a deep sexy Barry White voice, which he said helped him get all the ladies.  Then he started into his own rendition of "Don't You Wish Your Boyfriend Was Hot Like Me" and ripped his robe off to expose his old man chest and waist. 

I'm sorry Mr. Morrissey, I don't care how cool you are, were, whatever, or how smooth your voice is, I don't want to see your muffin top or the fat dimples on your lower back just above your ass.  Apparently every other woman in the room did.  My friend and I just looked at each other with raised eyebrows. 

His next shirt of choice was a maroon color ... at first I thought it had a design on the back, then I realized it was just a blurb of sweat spreading and spreading.  Then he began to lactate and soon he had wet circles on the front of the shirt, then he must have thought  "Whoops, I messed through this one too!  Time for another one! " so he tossed his dirty shirt into the audience to an adoring fan who will probably never wash it and will keep it close to her pillow and smell it every single night.

The fun didn't stop there!  (Don't get me wrong, the show was great, he has a wonderful voice!)  Suddenly he knelt to the ground in "The Thinkers" pose as his band continued to play - it was so "dramatic" it was corny and I burst into laughter.  Later he struck another pose, but this time on his back, scooched his backside up to the drum platform, and laid on his head.  No wonder they don't willingly allow camera's or video equipment in.  And none of these moves are original to the show apparently he strikes that pose, I googled his concert looking for photos and to verify that yes, that was James Dean's photo triplicated for the background, and found and interesting article that ended with ...

"Standing beneath the James Dean photos, one can only imagine that Morrissey longs to be something other than what he is, unable to ever attain the status, looks or general star quality he aspires to. He even took time to praise Dean for being such an icon. But at the Michigan Theater, it might as well have been Morrissey posted high up on the background."

I had a blast, even though my best friend was also one of those screams and criers! (Fortunately she was on the other side of the stairs, I already had enough ladies screaming in my ear!)

Now to mention the opening act - Kristeen Young ... OMG Where can I get more of her!  She rocked her keyboard while her drummer beat it out, holy moley they were awesome!  It reminded me a bit of Tori Amos's Playboy Mommy phase, but leaving me wanting even more!  I'm at a loss for words as I was completely taken away by her performance, aside from her dancing with the microphone stand.  I thought that was strange, she was holding the mic in her hand, then grabbed the stand and started dragging it around the stage with her ... I thought she was going to start using it like a stripper pole or something.  I was confused how abruptly she ended, no "Goodbye" just silence and her pulling the cords from her keyboard and leaving the stage, then goofy film clips projected onto the white back drop.

It was a good night!