It becomes worse at night ... this persistent dry deep cough.

I've had it for weeks.  First I attributed it to allergies or all that ash that was in the air, but now I'm thinking my chronic bronchitis is flaring up.  Joy.  My lungs hurt.  Last night it took me ages to fall asleep, then I had ultra vivid dreams ... dreams that I wished I could grasp onto and hold forever ... dreams that I wished when I suddenly woke up each time, were true.

When I woke up this morning I felt so unrefreshed, tired, and just kind of crummy, I called into work and took the day off.  Then I went back to sleep.  I twitch in my sleep ... generally just when I'm falling asleep.  Pumpkin says that's how he knows I'm asleep, I start to twitch a little.  He says he holds onto me while I twitch, then I stop, and he falls asleep.

I had an ex that was a light sleeper, and he told me I twitch, oh and I was a cover hog ... the first time he slept next to me he actually was afraid maybe I was having a seizure.  My mom said it's probably part of what might be MS ... but I still haven't had a firm diagnosis.  Pumpkin asked if my medicines were making me twitch, he'd noticed my hands were jittering ... I told him that that is normal, I've been like that on and off since I was 18 - but the meds could be adding to it.

Pumpkin says that sometimes, if he wakes up at night, he'll see me smiling, and moving my mouth like I'm talking ... sometimes I say something out loud.  He always wonders what I'm dreaming about.  If only he knew ...

Like I said, my dreams are vivid ... but apparently not as vivid as my sisters.  She finally called me last night, first to see if anyone would want to buy her coffee tables ... but at least that lead to just talking about stuff.  She doesn't call me very often, and I've given up on calling her because she never returns my phone calls.  Anyway, she said she's going to a neurologist because they think she might have some form of epilepsy ... she's always so tired.  Apparently she dreams so vividly and actively at night that instead of her body resting, it is more awake than asleep.  She said she'll throw things, get out of bed, even sit up and talk loudly.  An example she gave me was how she sat up the other morning and said to her fiance "Look at the puppies" and giggled.  He told her there were no puppies and she laughed and said "No, look at the little white puppies" ... then suddenly she woke up and he was like "Lid, there are no puppies" and she's like "What are you talking about?"

At least I dream about things I want, not just stuff.

Still, I haven't been sleeping well ... even with all the medicine I pop at night that is supposed to make me drowsy and help me sleep through the night.  It worked for a while, but now I'm still tired in the morning.  It takes a double shot of espresso to keep me going through the day and now I'm getting a few heart palpitations here and there again.

I think I'll take up Yoga.  Tomorrow night they have a class at the gym.  Maybe if I unwind and start stretching I'll sleep better and my back and joints will ache less.  I love the changing of weather ... I love when it begins to get cold and we have overcast days ... but my joints don't.  I ache like a mofo and can tell you when the temperature is about to drop.  Then it's hard for me to get out of bed in the morning because I don't want to get out from under my doona and step into the cold.

Now that it's 10 after 11, I better change into my PJ's and go to bed.  Hopefully I'll sleep better tonight.  My boss called today and first said "First I want to tell you that I hope you feel better, but I also wanted to ask if the Fresno State PO's were done" ... "Thanks, and yes - I did them last week"  Then he again told me to feel better.  That's nice, he's a good boss.

Gluah ... I need to go to bed, my lungs hurt, my throat is kind of hurting, and my ears are kind of aching ... On top of that my back aches, my eyes are watery and burning, my nose is stuff ... but running at the same time.  Joy.  I think maybe I'll have a warm cup of tea after my pj's are on ... I'll start the kettle before I get ready for bed.

Hopefully that helps.  Goodnight everyone, I'm going to try to go to bed and actually sleep throughout the night.