Our building is divided, so the division I work in is on one half of the floor.  Most of us dress up every year, the other side does not ... today one actually said "I think we should close these doors so the goblins don't get us" ... 

Welcome and Happy Halloween from Migrant Education!


The Mechanic, The Pregnant Housewife, Nacho Libre, Miss Universe, Me (the cat, yeah I wasn't that creative this year, whatever), and Hippy Chick.

One year our department boss (Nacho Libre) came in as Thing 1 ... his wife later stopped by and she was Thing 2!  Gotta love the spirit up here!

Well, in my own house.  

One year I lived in an apartment and left a bag of candy on my doorknob while I took my daughter out Trick-or-Treating.  I attached a note that said "Take one piece, or I will find you"

When I returned home there were only 3 pieces taken from the bag.  It was good candy!  Full size Reese's Peanut Butter Cups!  Oh-well ... more candy for me that year.

This year I'm volunteering at our office booth at the Safe Halloween event.  They encourage costumes, so I think I'm going to be a cat.  Yes, generic I know, but I've run out of home grown ideas.  Last year I was a 50's Stepford Wife looking person (here I am borrowing my boyfriends tommy gun.
 
The year before I was Hanoi Jane (Which is my favorite costume, but it's too early to repeat the look)

I'm probably not going to go out, except for the volunteer work, and I have to have something appropriate for that day and work.  Otherwise I'd be a Pirate Wench or the Mad Hatter, but those costumes show my bum (speaking of which, I still need to pick them up from How Cool).

I am looking forward to passing out candy.  I went to Costco last weekend and bought two bags of gummy eyeballs.  I figured 160 pieces of candy would suffice ... then my neighbor said to expect maybe 200 or more children!  So I'm going back to Costco for a big bag of chocolate bars.

I love watching the kids come up in their costumes!  Some kids are so cute, what irks me are the older kids who show up in sweats with a pillowcase.  Come one, I don't care if you are 15 and still trick-or-treating ... but at least make some sort of costume!  Maybe I'll post a sign that says "No Costume, No Treat!"  

One year a couple kids came to my mom's door dressed as gypsies.  All year, when my daughter was naughty, I would tell her that the Gypsies were going to come and get her.  When these kids showed up at the door I hollered for her and said "Look Aidan, it's the gypsies!"  Her eyes grew big and she said "But I've been good!"  I told her that I told them that and they were just going to trade her for some candy and go home.

My best friend, her two kids, and her chihuahua Nancy (Igby's fiancee) are going to come over and trick-or-treat Oleander with us while my roommates handle the candy for a while.  (Igby is a Bat, Nancy is a Pumpkin) Then once I get back home I'm going to pop in my RHPS dvd and chill out on the couch waiting for the door to ring.

This video cracks me up!  It's a parody of "Sexy Back"

"I'm bringing Paxil back / The platinum bottle with the child-proof cap / Just read the dosage and quadruple that ..."

"Get your doctors note, get your doctors note.  Get - Your - Doctors - Note."

If you have money, does that mean you should drive a flashy car?

Pumpkin brought lunch to my office to share on my break.  Somehow the conversation very abruptly turned to my dad.  I don't even know how, I just know the next asinine thing to come out of Pumpkin's mouth was "Your Dad's car is the reason he can't pick up women.  If he wanted to pick up women he should drive a nicer car"

What's wrong with a Toyota Camry?  Fully loaded, leather seats, sun roof ... and it's paid for.

So I ask Pumpkin "Does it really matter what he drives?  Seriously, if a woman is only attracted to him by the car he drives then that's not the right type of woman for my dad"

"Yeah, but he's like 100 years old."

"He's barely in his 50's!  And he's a good looking 50 year old at that"

Pumpkin then goes on about how he should drive a better car, like a Mercedes, or a BMW ... something flashy.  He continues that my dad is flashy ... because he wears a Rolex.  So he's just throwing it around to people that he has money, so he needs to drive a better car.

Again I ask "What's wrong with a 35,000 dollar car?  You're saying he can't pick up women until he buys a 50 or 60 thousand dollar car?"

"Exactly, like a Beemer or a Benz"

I get up from the table, grab the bottle of water and retort "You're stupid" as I walk off.

Pumpkin cries out "Kindra, what?!  Don't get mad"

I'm not mad you idiot, I'm just annoyed by your ignorance.

He follows me going on and on about having to have a nice car to pick up women and how if my Dad has money, why doesn't he drive a nicer car.  I ask him "So since I drive a Toyota Corolla, I can't get a guy?" and he replies "Well, no we aren't talking about me."

By now we are at the elevator, as we wait for it, then ride it up to my floor I reply "Listen, that's the great thing about having money.  You can drive whatever you want.  Hell, you can drive a 1968 Beetle if that's your fancy.  If you want to drive a Toyota Camry you can, because that's what you like.  He likes his Toyota Camry, so that's what he drives"

"Well he'd keep women around longer if he drove something better"

"He was with Alicia for 13 years and most of those years he drove a crappy JEEP Wagoneer!"

"Well, he probably still be with her if he'd of bought a better car"

The elevator opens to my floor I step out, Pumpkin yells after me "Come on!  Don't be mad, you know I'm right"  I reply "Thanks for lunch" and walk away rolling my eyes.

Now you all understand why I had to look up asinine.  My boyfriend is asinine.

Two words I had to look up today to make sure I spelled them correctly.

Today I was going through my yahoo photo albums and adding tags (a new feature, and I like the working hamsters).  I came across this photo that I had forgotten about, and it's one that I absolutely love.



It was March of 2003.  I was visiting Neil in Hollywood, we picked up our friend Jesse (do any of you recognize him?) and went to the Santa Monica Pier.  My mom was there because she had driven a school bus down for some school function.  She took this photograph.  I love it because it shows such personality and represents a really nice day.

After the photo the 3 of us had lunch with my mom on the pier before she had to go.  Then we headed up the bridge to the 3rd Street Promenade.  Jesse was frightened to go over the bridge so I promised I'd hold onto him so he wouldn't fall over the rail (Hey, I get these weird fears too, so I understood where he was coming from).  Up at the Promenade Jesse bought us some Thin Mints from the Girl Scouts that had set up a booth and handed me a box.  We went in and out of stores, Neil leading the way, Jesse and I tagging along shoving cookies into our mouths, from the open box Jesse was holding (he kept handing me more and more and more).  It was kind of funny, here we were walking into these really nice clothing stores that Neil was dragging us into, with cookies stuffed into our mouths and bits of chocolate in each corner crease of our lips.

At one point we went into Abercrombie and Fitch.  There was a book of their models for sale, they had a display on a table.  Jesse knew one of the guys in the book so he started flipping through a book that was not sealed.  One of the AF guys walks up and tells us we can't look through the book.  Jesse quietly tells the guy that he knew one of the dudes in the book and was just going to look for his picture, he thought that was a display book because it was open.  Then he put the book down.  

As we were leaving the store the same guy walks up to us and tells us to go ahead and look for the guy really fast.  Then he asks Jesse how he knows the guy.  Jesse says that he worked with him once.  The AF guy asks "So you a model or something" with a bit of a snide look on his face.  The kind of look that said "How can a scrawny guy like you be a model".  Jesse simply replied "Um, I'm kind of an actor" ... the AF guy says in one of those disbelief voices "Really?  Maybe we've worked together before, I'm an actor and a model too"

I am now rolling my eyes and Jesse is trying to make a run for it as he's saying "I don't think so".  Neil pipes up "Yeah, he just signed onto Wes Craven's next trilogy ..." 

The AF guys attitude changes, completely ... now he's like the desperate model/actor store clerk that runs into someone famous and is trying to act cool but begging for an opportunity to get his big break.  He said something like that was cool and maybe he'd be working with Jesse sometime.

By now I'm cracking up and moving quickly after Jesse out the door as he says under his breath "I don't think so"

Outside we all just broke into laughter, Neil and I were saying "Can you believe that guy?  He thought he was so hot" and then Neil and I mimicked him for a while before it grew old.  

Yep, that was a good day.

If you'd like to look at anymore of my photos feel free to visit my yahoo photo album.  I have alot of pics that I took while traveling, including London and Amsterdam.

This other guy and I (I was a guy too) had decided to race a truck and and El Camino home. We drove the vehicles down a long road then off the road up a grassy kind of foothill to our starting place. I think one of us mentioned that it was going to take 2 weeks to get home taking this route. Then off we went, I was in the truck, which had a storage in the back. It was brown, old, and looked like something you'd smuggle immigrants over in. The other guy was in the white El Camino. We drove forever! Then suddenly I was in the back of the truck with these 3 other people, that actually kind of looked like immigrants, I was tired so I guess I'd gone back there to nap while one of the women drove. While sleeping we'd passed the El Camino and I guess the back had opened so that driver could see me in the back and he gave me this look like "Who the heck is driving?" Then from one of those camera vision angles I see the girl, she looks kind of old fashioned in a way (like Nicole Kidman old fashioned from that one movie with Tom Cruise where they come to America from Ireland), but she's young, pretty, and driving the truck like crazy.

Then for some reason we all pull over and there's this hill that's covered with big rocks and broken branches and a little girl is climbing up it to the top where there is a path and a gate. She's tripping and falling and we think she's going to break her neck. Apparently this is now the path to keep racing down, but we've abandoned our vehicles and are scrambling up this hillside. I slip and fall several times, so does the other guy. We finally reach the little girl and help her all the way up then he and I keep running down the path, all the while he's trying to tell me that something had been attacking him and his car from the sky and it was still up there. I told him he was crazy and to keep running, but I kept seeing something flash in the sky, but when I'd look I'd be blinded by the sun. Then for some reason I start getting up on the guys shoulders and I tell him to just keep running, I'd swing my purse around and knock whatever it was swooping down (hmmm, maybe I'd turned into a girl then?) Then I looked to my left and in the field/meadow whatever off the path were these three concrete bases with huge orange monkey type figured sitting on them, I'd of thought they were statues, but I knew they weren't because the monkeys, as still as they were, were obviously not concrete.

Something swooped toward us, but of course the sun blinded me again when I looked, so I just swung my purse.

Then I woke up and said "Oh Sh**!" because I knew I'd fallen back asleep again and sure enough it was 8:06 am.

I had another dream, but I don't remember it well.  I do know I was naked peeing in a bathtub and this guy kept peeking around the shower curtain.  Then, well it gets unclear from there, I remember other people, guys and girls, but don't remember what the heck we were doing.  Bizarro, Bizarro, Bizarro!!!

I'm rushing around getting ready for work this morning, I take Igby outside to piddle and my roommate is sitting on the porch.  She says "Something's going down in our neighborhood!"

She saw 3 unmarked cars pull up across the street from my house and a bunch of cops in bullet proof vests took off down the street toward a house that has the cutest little Chihuahua, but they don't take care of him.  He runs in the street, and ends up in my yard, but is skittish and won't come ... but I don't think that's why the cops were pounding on their door.

Notice how the two cars in the street are blocking the car that is obviously marked as a state vehicle. I was in a hurry to get to work so my pics aren't clear and the cop wasn't outside when I finally made it past the house.

I laugh and sing out "In the ghetto ... " as I go back inside to finish my routine.  15 minutes later I'm ready to leave for work.  My roommate is still outside, watching the action with my other roommate and my boyfriend.  From my house you could see the cops milling around the yard, then finally all but one went inside the house.  The one stayed outside and kept an eye on the side yard.  I told everyone that she was making sure no one was making a run for it.  I've seen these go down before ...

So now I'm wondering what kind of bust it was ... probably just a warrant for someone they needed to arrest.  *Yawn*

I have some work that needs to be done around my house.

This is what I'm looking to do ... 

Put up a gutter around the front of my house

Tear out the brick that is plugging up my fireplace

Run electrical under the house for a new plug near the fireplace for the insert that will be installed.

Fix cracks and plaster in both the dining room and living room walls and ceilings

Patch the holes in the side of my garage, it's roof, and repair the awning attached to it so my insurance company doesn't cancel me.

Trench a line, pull out the old plumbing and replace with new plumbing.

Things I might do ...

Remodel my kitchen, this will include tearing down a wall to open a pantry up into the kitchen and installing new cabinetry, tile, and tile floors.

Adding a bathroom (which will take up part of an existing pantry and half of the laundry room), this will include having to run a sewage line into the laundry room, moving the gas and vent outlet for the dryer to the other side of the laundry room, putting in a few new outlets, putting up a wall, and all other kinds of fun bathroom stuff.

So if you know someone who does a quality job, but doesn't charge an arm and a leg, let me know :)

Well, since my last insomnia crazed post I finally have had a few good nights of sleep.  Thursday evening I drank herbal tea right before bed, then took an Ibuprofen ... my body aches were telling me it was going to rain the next day.  I slept soundly through the night.  It felt so wonderful!  The next night I did the tea thing again, but also finally had my much needed Klonopin to help knock me out.

Saturday and Sunday I laid in bed until at least 11 am each morning.  That was great!  Last night I went to bed just a little bit too late, and didn't sleep as well as the nights before, but I think maybe I just slept too much this weekend.  So this morning I woke up around 6:15 and almost fell back asleep when my daughter's alarm clock went off.  Now normally I can sleep through that ... if I'm still sound asleep ... but today I was just falling back asleep and she didn't immediately turn it off, instead let it run it's course so it would snooze.  Guess she didn't feel like getting out of bed yet either.

Around 7:30 she let me know that the toilet was backed up - great.  I told her to pee in the bathtub or hold it until she went to school.  Am I ghetto or what?  When I finally got out of bed at 7:40 I started the plunging process, which my roommates had already tried to do, but became frustrated because the plunger is a POS and you have to use gentle fast thrusting motions so it won't turn inside out.  I managed to get the water level all the way down, but it still wouldn't flush ... and it was backing up into the bathtub again. - Yes, I have had this problem before -

See, being that my house is over 85 years old, so is the plumbing.  And being that I have gigantic pecan and oak trees all over my lot the roots have decided to take over and invade the main pipe that runs into the city's sewage system.  At least this time no one had taken a massive shit.  Last time my foster sister had taken a massive poo, then flushed, then tried to fix it herself, then finally let me know, but by then her poo had backed into the bathtub.  It was so disgusting and stunk to high heaven.  I had to call a plumber out, who showed up armed with all his tools and a certified plumbers crack.

He snaked the line from the outside, pulled out some toilet paper, roots, charged me my insurance co-pay, advised me to update my main line and went on his merry way.  Oh and he also did all this, including reaching into the nasty bath water, without using gloves.  He was kind enough to run hot water in the tub until it was almost cleared out, all we had to do was give it a good sanitizing.

So ... any of you know a good "plumber" as in the kind of person that can do the job, but might not actually be a plumber, and will trench along my backyard, take out and replace my pipes for cheap?

Hopefully by the time I get off work today the problem in the line will have dissolved and we'll be back to business.  Otherwise I'll call my dad and see if he will bring a plunger that's not worthless and some Draino.  I'll put on my dirtiest clothes and try taking the cape off the outside line and flushing it with a hose.  If that fails, I'll just have to call the plumber again.  Thank god for home insurance, with all the work I've had done so far it was well worth the $100.

So yesterday Igby turned 1 year old.  He's so freakin adorable, I love that little rolly polly doggy.  And he was very rolly polly after an evening of a special feast of wet dog food for dinner, then carrot cake and milk for a special treat.  He totally filled out the little "Bill Cosby" sweater that I bought him.

All day everyone in the house kept telling him happy birthday, and gave him extra (and that's alot, because we already give him tons of attention) attention and love.  I danced around with him a few times just chanting "It's your birthday, it's your birthday!"  He knew something was up, he was even more playful, well behaved, and waggy tailed than usual.

Around 5 I fed him his dinner, I'd picked up a wet food packet that had vegetables and chicken in it, it was chicken stew or something like that.  He snarfed it up and wouldn't even look up at me to take a picture, well I think I got one, but he's licking his mouth.  He didn't like the noodly things in it, and just ate around those, it was funny, he'd pick one up, suck it, then spit it out, just to get the sauce off of it.

A little after 7 my Dad brought Aidan home.  I'd baked a carrot cake and frosted it with cream cheese frosting, then decorated it with frosting I tinted blue.  We put one blue candle in it, then held Igby up to the table and all of us sang "Happy Birthday" to him.  He was looking around at us like "what the?" ... but he obviously was loving being the center of attention.  Then Aidan helped him blow his candle out.

Before we cut the cake we gathered around on the floor.  Shyanne held Igby while she and Aidan helped him open his presents.  The first one opened was a stuffed blue squeaky bone.  He ran after it like a mad man and nearly abandoned everything else all together.  We managed to call him back and he looked very curiously at the other packages that we were half ripping and shaking to make crinkly noises.  He also loved his new squeaky Alligator, and the two mini tennis balls I bought him.  When we opened the sweater we had to put it on him immediately, he looked so cute!  I also bought him a Halloween shirt that glows in the dark.

Once in his "Cosby Sweater" we cut the cake and gave him a little tiny slice on a plate on the table, he chowed that down so fast!  It was so cute, he had frosting on his nose ... but he quickly licked that off too.  Then he played with his toys for a bit before just plopping down on his bed (which he'd dragged all the way in from the laundry room earlier.  Shyanne, James, Michael and I were all in the living room and it was like Igby wanted to join us, but didn't want to lay on the floor.  I'd seen him in the kitchen earlier "killing" his bed and dragging it across the floor - I guess eventually he pulled and shook it all the way to the living room).

Then when Grandpa left he came outside and played with the Migrant Worker (a stray cat that has been adopted by my house and the little cottage next door), then he chased another cat, and a neighbor.  My dad said it was like he was saying "But it's my Birthday!" Back inside he flopped back down on his bed.

His little belly was so fat!  It was hilariously cute.  At bed time he was eager to just crawl under the sheets and snuggle.  Man I love that dog.

I feel like I haven't slept since Saturday evening.

Every night it feels that as soon as I finally doze off something or somebody wakes me up.  Last night I must have woken up 8 times in the 7 1/2 hours I laid in bed.

Awake, asleep, awake, asleep ... just imagine Grover doing his "Near ... Far" skit, but instead of running away and then running closer he's laying in bed popping his eyes open, then squeezing them shut, only for them to pop open again.

I have an extra artery in my left eye.  That's what the eye doctor told me yesterday ... he said it was a good thing.  My vision had actually improved since last year; he said that could be attributed to a change in hormones.

Hormones ... Whore moans ... 

As I sit hear at work listening to the waves of sound coming from my co-workers mouths I can't help but feel a little distant.  I'm not all here, must be the lack of sleep.  

I was booed today ... someone left a stuffed dracula on my desk - now I'm expected to BOO! 2 other people tomorrow that haven't been booed yet.  Boo.  I hate when people scare me, it makes my heart hurt.  I avoid scary movies at all cost.  The last one I think I successfully watched was the Ring, that was in 2003.  

My then boyfriend was a budding in the closet writer/director.  He always made me watch different movies, no matter how scary they were.  He was the first person to get me to watch the Hannibal Lector films.  I remember the night we watched Silence of the Lambs as vividly as if it were yesterday.  It was early 2001; we sat on the floor in front of the TV in my little studio apartment.  He sat behind me with his legs surrounding me, holding me from behind and threatening to pull my eyelids open if I didn't watch.  My cat pink licked his freshly cut hair ... Pink groomed him, he liked it.  We weren't officially dating at the time - we flirted with that idea from 1995 until January of 2003.  Seven years.  I loved him for seven years.  I still love him … but now things are different.

It had all started when I was 11 years old … it must have been 1991.  I just moved to this dry brown Podunk town from a lush green suburbia in Northern California – but that’s another story all together.  

He always liked my stories.  He always told me I should write a book.

My friend and I were just a couple of silly 6^th graders looking through our freshly printed yearbooks … I always loved the way the pages of a new yearbook smelled … we were looking through the highschoolers photos (it was a P-12 private academy) and giving a thumbs up or thumbs down.  Then I saw him … I pointed my long childish finger at his photo and said “I’m going to marry him”.  My friend laughed, I laughed, it was all so silly.  I read his name out loud and realized he was one of my classmate’s siblings.  The day passed and so did the memory.

It was an early spring evening in 1996, I’d transferred to a public school in 1994.  One of my new friends had graduated spring of ’95 and became an active participant in the theater department at the local Junior College.  She invited me to see her perform in a play she was in; afterwards she took me backstage to meet her new friends.  Outside I struck up a conversation with one of the guys, he seemed so familiar.  Then he mentioned private academies and it dawned on me who he was.  I addressed him by the full name I’d seen in the yearbook years before.  He corrected me and let me know that he actually goes by his middle name, Neil.  The memory of pointing at his black and white photo years before came flooding back.  Here he stood before me in the flesh, his dirty blonde hair, white as rice skin, and yellow green eyes.

First we became friends … he was several years older than me, I was 17, he was 20.  There was a known attraction between us, but I felt like I was the one giving chase.  I asked my friend who’d introduced us what type of girls he liked – she told me the preppy cheerleader kind, a girl who would squeeze his muscles and tell him how great he was.  I being the sarcastic, cynical, morose girl that I was nearly puked at the thought, but I knew he liked clever wit, and he was also sarcastic as hell.

There was a Butt Trumpet song about doing it in the butt, and one of the lyrics said “Todd … you ever loving sex god you …” I took the lyrics and used them as my own “pick up” line.  One evening while we all hung out at my friends house I sauntered up to him in a black cat like way, squeezed his tricep gently and said in my sexiest preppy girl voice “Oh Neil, you ever loving sex god you … your muscles are so, mmm, big …” then I coyly raised my eyebrows, gave him one of my crooked sarcastic smiles, and walked away.  Our friends could hardly stifle their laughter as they saw that I, the dry, sarcastic, sardonic girl had just given Neily boy a run for his money.  

I guess that’s when you could say we started non-officially dating.  I remember one evening he picked me up and I had him drive us to a spot I used to like to sit at alone.  The spot was special to me, it’s were I went when I had just enough of everything.  I’d sit on the hill that slopped down to the road and watch cars pass by and just not think.  I’d chew on the ends of the long weeds like a farmer.  That evening, for the first time, I didn’t sit there alone.  We chewed on weeds, he stuck two long ones behind my ears, I pretended to be an alien.  We laughed, we kissed, we got close … then I stopped him and told him I really should get back home.  We shared a few more kisses, then he drove me home … I was on cloud nine.

Later that summer he told me that he was moving to the city of Angels, he’d been accepted to USC.  He thought it wouldn’t be right to start a relationship that would have to be long distance … I understood.  Until one evening he was in town visiting, my friend and I planned to meet him for Chinese food.  He showed up with his girlfriend … who was a local.  On top of that she was a stripper, with long beautiful blond hair and a Minnie Driver face.  Of course this raised eyebrows from my friend … and boiled a little inside of me.  I let it pass, I got to know the girl, she was sweet.  I went to a party at her apartment, we became friends.  Then one night she told me how Neil had come to town and had done the sweetest thing.  He’d taken her to this spot on the side of a hill.  He’d brought a blanket, chocolates and strawberries … then he fed them to her while they watched the cars drive by.  You’ve guessed it, that was MY spot.

Getting to know this girl I had discovered that she didn’t just like guys … she was open for relationships between both sexes.  Well, so was I.  While she continued to date him, she began to date me.  I think it was one of the most innocent sweet relationships I have ever had.  I loved spooning with her at night … I don’t remember why we broke it off, I kind of recall her deciding that she wanted to go back to her ex.  The last I heard she had announced she was gay, had cut off all her beautiful golden hair and joined the army.  I eventually lost contact with Neil, but I never stopped thinking about him.

In 2000 he showed up again … actually I decided on a whim to track him down.  He had become a “what if” … I had to close that chapter of my life book.  I heard from a mutual friend that he was in town, and it was as easy as calling the listing of his last name in the area of town I knew his father lived in.  The phone rang once, then twice … then a man answered.  I asked if Neil was available, he said he was, my heart went into my throat.  He answered, he was happy to hear from me, we made plans to meet up.  He still lived in LA, but each time he came to town he’d call and we’d go to church together or out for ice cream.  He didn’t seem to mind that I now had a 2 year old child, he actually was quite fond of her and would remark that she was years beyond her age.

One of our outings we were walking through the mall together, somehow the blonde stripper came up in conversation …

“Did you know she was cheating on me?”

“Yes, actually I did”

“Who was it with?  I figured it was her ex”

“Well it was, and it was someone else …”

“Who?  Tell me!  Is it someone I know?”

“Yes, someone you are rather close to at the moment”

He turned and looked at me with a funny little smile on his face and said “That was the most perfect revenge!”  Instead of being angry, he again was amused with me.  I had once again given him a run for his money.

...

Thank god, only 2.25 more hours here at work.  It's noon, I'm hungry ... my boss was going to give me some data to enter, but he hasn't ... so I'm trying to find things to do.  I'm also waiting for a woman to get back to me with her social security number so I can submit an employment form for her.

I feel like I've been in a daze for the last hour and a half.  I just realized my boss is back and so are the other girls who sit closest to me.  I snapped out of it when I heard my name ... now my mom is on the phone telling me how I should get my flu shot and how she saw a young blonde girl in the corner of her room brushing her hair, flipping it up.  She closed her eyes, opened them, and the girl was standing by the dresser near the mirror.  She didn't recognize the girl, she closed her eyes again, opened them and the girl slowly faded away.

Anyway, she said she'd pay for my prescription because I need it ... she repeated her mantra that I have post tramatic stress syndrome from stressful anxiety ridden events in my early teens.  That I need to sleep, not to tell her about it, just come get the money.

I love my mom.

Now maybe I'll get some sleep ... or at least wake up less frequently.  My boss just made a long farting noise with his mouth.  I have no idea why.  He laughed and left.

2 more hours to go.

I'm broke and still trying to sell the extra stuff I have around my house and filling up my garage and basement.

I've listed some clothing on eBay ... my user ID is kayk79 ... included are a pair of bondage pants from Hot Topic, Karen Kane pants, Esprit top, Liz Claiborne clothes, etc.  

I also have several formal gowns stored in my basement that need a good home.  Four were never even worn and retailed for $300 each.  Their colors are gold, silver, purple, and white.  The white one is strapless and has beading down the front.  I'm too lazy to take them to a consignment shop.  I also have a ton of kids clothes, 3 pairs of Calvin Klein jeans worn less than a handful of times, a stroller, carseat, stove, dishwasher, and the list goes on.

Hmm, what else can I get rid of ... Oh I have a bunch of black and white Video Now pvd's that aren't even opened.  Who can say SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

Oh and how about the shitload of chinese bowls ... you know, the kind they serve soup in at the restaurants?  I have like 100 of those.  My uncle Chino owned a restaurant called Wok in, Wok out ... cute huh?

If you are bored this weekend and feel like just coming over and riffling through my crap and naming a price you are welcome to.  I just need the cash and the garage cleared out so I can start the repairs to it.

Oh and about the lawnmower ... my grass is getting long again and I just don't feel like having to borrow my mom's from across town.  It's time I buy my own, but I need to find a cheap used (that works, duh) for like $50 or less.  I like mowing my own lawn ... okay, I'm just too poor to hire a gardener.

It's gone ... after a day.  What good did that do?  Especially within 20 feet of the stop sign?

So now I've wrote the traffic division again, and I've contacted KGET.

I'm shaking my head in disbelief as I watch from my living room, car after car speed past my house.  I'm tempted to sell my house and move down to a quieter street.  I did find a cute little 3 bedroom spanish style home with a guest unit in the back for a little less than what I could get for my house.  

But I love my house!  From the moment I walked into it 8 months ago, I knew it was MY house.  I have my office set up here, my 200 + business cards list this address.  It's spacious, I handpicked all the colors and carpet.  I like my little house (okay, not so little I'm told ... I guess I'm just used to living in my mom's 3000 sq ft house ... I don't realize the size of mine until I sit and think that my friend bought a new 3 bedroom home that is a little less than 500 sq ft smaller than my home).

I don't want to move, yet ... so I guess that means I have to keep fighting, and baby ... let's hope this isn't a lost cause.

Well, after my pleas, emails, and phone calls, the traffic division has finally placed a radar trailer on my street.  The thing is, it's closer to the H St end ... and I mean, really close to the end of the street, so at that point people have already slowed their asses down for the stop sign.  The need it right in front of my house - where people accelerate like maniacs trying to qualify, in both directions!

So now I need to call them again and ask if they can move it toward the middle of the street.  Think they'll listen?

Here's a photo of the worthless radar taken by a local Forrest St snoop who apparently obeys the speed limit.

I've been pouring over the loan docs I was the signing agent for tonight.  My eyes hurt, my head hurts, and I missed the majority of ER.  I also missed Earl and The Office because the signing took so long.  Wah.

The positive side of this is I made a good chunk of change, roughly $30 an hour for my time - that includes printing the docs, watching the signing of the docs, and then making sure everything was complete.

I also had two neighbors come over for notarization tonight, that was cool!  The first notarization out of my home office that weren't for family or friends.  She actually found me though an internet search, so that rocks!  I told her that if they come back I'll charge them $2 less for future signings.

Now I'm enjoying a cheese quesadilla that Pumpkin so nicely prepared.  Then I better get to bed, today I couldn't stay awake at work again, even after a double latte.  I ended up sleepily driving home at 10:30 and then sleeping until 1:30.  

Yawn!  Goodnight Bakersfield!

OMG The Examples really do exist, and I found them on MySpace!  I've done searches before, but nothing ever turned up.  I've asked any 90's Bakersfield punk rocker that I've run across if they remember them ... and no one did!  I'd sing their song "Happy Hippo" and say "Don't you remember them?  Come one SOMEONE has to remember them!"

The tape I happily acquired at one of their shows disappeared about 9 years ago ... I loaned it to a friend, she left it in some dudes tape deck, he moved to Vegas.  So here I've sat without proof of this fucking awesome Punk band beginning to wonder if maybe I'd just hallucinated it all ... but today I found out that I'm not that crazy yet.  They do exist, and I've downloaded all 4 songs they have on that site ... and now I'm happily typing away listening to them, tapping my foot and singing along.  Life is good.

"It's 8:10 and the Happy Hippo's coming to town
It's 8:10 and the Happy Hippo's coming to town
It's 8:15 he's so happy he don't have a care
He walks by a porcupine he walks past Mr. Bear

The Happy Hippo's Heading for the City 
He'll be there right at 10:30
He's polished up his tail plus he combed his hair
But the people in the city don't want him there 

It's 9 o'clock and he passes up Mr Giraffe
The Giraffe smiles, the hippo starts to laugh
It's 9:30 he sees the lama and the yak
He walks under trees so he might scratch his back

A Happy Hippo's Heading for the City 
He'll be there right at 10:30
He's polished up his tail plus he combed his hair
But the people in the city don't want him there 

It's 10 o'clock and he's almost there
He wants to see the buildings stretchin up to the air
An architecture fan he wants to see the houses too
He likes the pretty colors yellow, red, green plus blue

The Happy Hippo's Heading for the City 
He'll be there right at 10:30
He's polished up his tail plus he combed his hair
But the people in the city don't want him there 

Well the people in the city heard he was a coming today
So they sent out the mayor to send the hippo away, 
the mayor met the hippo on the edge of town
sorry hippopotamus you'll have to turn a round
-There's a city ordinance, no hippopotami allowed-

Though we appreciate your heritage we know you must be proud
The happy hippo didn't like this news at all
So we trampled the mayor and smashed the town to bits.

The Happy Hippo's Heading for the City 
He'll be there right at 10:30
He's polished up his tail plus he combed his hair
But the people in the city don't want him there ... "

It becomes worse at night ... this persistent dry deep cough.

I've had it for weeks.  First I attributed it to allergies or all that ash that was in the air, but now I'm thinking my chronic bronchitis is flaring up.  Joy.  My lungs hurt.  Last night it took me ages to fall asleep, then I had ultra vivid dreams ... dreams that I wished I could grasp onto and hold forever ... dreams that I wished when I suddenly woke up each time, were true.

When I woke up this morning I felt so unrefreshed, tired, and just kind of crummy, I called into work and took the day off.  Then I went back to sleep.  I twitch in my sleep ... generally just when I'm falling asleep.  Pumpkin says that's how he knows I'm asleep, I start to twitch a little.  He says he holds onto me while I twitch, then I stop, and he falls asleep.

I had an ex that was a light sleeper, and he told me I twitch, oh and I was a cover hog ... the first time he slept next to me he actually was afraid maybe I was having a seizure.  My mom said it's probably part of what might be MS ... but I still haven't had a firm diagnosis.  Pumpkin asked if my medicines were making me twitch, he'd noticed my hands were jittering ... I told him that that is normal, I've been like that on and off since I was 18 - but the meds could be adding to it.

Pumpkin says that sometimes, if he wakes up at night, he'll see me smiling, and moving my mouth like I'm talking ... sometimes I say something out loud.  He always wonders what I'm dreaming about.  If only he knew ...

Like I said, my dreams are vivid ... but apparently not as vivid as my sisters.  She finally called me last night, first to see if anyone would want to buy her coffee tables ... but at least that lead to just talking about stuff.  She doesn't call me very often, and I've given up on calling her because she never returns my phone calls.  Anyway, she said she's going to a neurologist because they think she might have some form of epilepsy ... she's always so tired.  Apparently she dreams so vividly and actively at night that instead of her body resting, it is more awake than asleep.  She said she'll throw things, get out of bed, even sit up and talk loudly.  An example she gave me was how she sat up the other morning and said to her fiance "Look at the puppies" and giggled.  He told her there were no puppies and she laughed and said "No, look at the little white puppies" ... then suddenly she woke up and he was like "Lid, there are no puppies" and she's like "What are you talking about?"

At least I dream about things I want, not just stuff.

Still, I haven't been sleeping well ... even with all the medicine I pop at night that is supposed to make me drowsy and help me sleep through the night.  It worked for a while, but now I'm still tired in the morning.  It takes a double shot of espresso to keep me going through the day and now I'm getting a few heart palpitations here and there again.

I think I'll take up Yoga.  Tomorrow night they have a class at the gym.  Maybe if I unwind and start stretching I'll sleep better and my back and joints will ache less.  I love the changing of weather ... I love when it begins to get cold and we have overcast days ... but my joints don't.  I ache like a mofo and can tell you when the temperature is about to drop.  Then it's hard for me to get out of bed in the morning because I don't want to get out from under my doona and step into the cold.

Now that it's 10 after 11, I better change into my PJ's and go to bed.  Hopefully I'll sleep better tonight.  My boss called today and first said "First I want to tell you that I hope you feel better, but I also wanted to ask if the Fresno State PO's were done" ... "Thanks, and yes - I did them last week"  Then he again told me to feel better.  That's nice, he's a good boss.

Gluah ... I need to go to bed, my lungs hurt, my throat is kind of hurting, and my ears are kind of aching ... On top of that my back aches, my eyes are watery and burning, my nose is stuff ... but running at the same time.  Joy.  I think maybe I'll have a warm cup of tea after my pj's are on ... I'll start the kettle before I get ready for bed.

Hopefully that helps.  Goodnight everyone, I'm going to try to go to bed and actually sleep throughout the night.