Black Friday was my birthday ... I decided to actually brave the crowds and go shopping.  I strategically picked that shopping area on Rosedale with Target, Walmart, Best Buy, etc., so I could kind of kill a bunch of birds with one stone.

My first stop was Best Buy - I was on a mission to find a Tinkerbell Disney Mix Stix.  It was so packed and the dude directed me vaguely to the children's stuff.  Didn't find anything so I quickly ran out of the store, took a deep breath, and then barged into Walmart.

Walmart, surprisingly wasn't as bad - still no Mix Stix's, I glanced around for any worthwhile bargains that would actually merit standing in line, didn't see any, and again pushed my way out of the store.

Those two stops worked up an appetite, so we pit stopped at Wendy's, found a parking spot near my next stops and ate in the car.

Then into Aaron Brother's I went.  I had a 50% off coupon that I was determined to use.  And use it I did!  I bought a beautiful gigantic canvas print of a purple flower that now fits perfectly in my dining room.  I've never spent that much on art before ... but I justified it this way ... I was going to break down and buy the Audry Hepburn canvas print from IKEA - I needed something in purples or black and white to fill a huge space.  Well that print is $80 ... the Flower is a ton bigger, more beautiful, and with my coupon on $20 more.  Cha-Ching!

It was my birthday, I was going to shop if I wanted too!

So after Aaron Brother's I wandered into Target, and wander is exactly what I did ... what I always tend to do in Target.  I bought a mini sparkly tree with ornaments and a boa to decorate it for Aidan, she really wanted a tree for her room - this was my motivation to get her to clean it.  Haha!  Mommy tricks!

At this moment I really don't remember what else I bought there - oh wait, it's coming to me ... I bought 3 seasons of the Simpsons for $16 each, sweet!  One Season of the family guy for me, and one for my brother for $16 each, sha-wing! Then that Geisha Girl movie, 40 year old Virgin, and the Notebook for less than $4 a piece - couldn't pass that up!  Then I bought Aidan a snow jumper and gloves for her upcoming trip with Girl Scouts, a few christmas gifts on her list, and who knows what else - I just has another memory loss.

Loaded with bags, I filled the trunk and we drove a little further through the parking lot to our next destination ... Cost Plus Imports.

All I needed was an Advent Calender, but this is another store I enjoy just wandering through.  Finally I purchased my Advent Calender, stuck that in the car, and headed over to Linens and Things.  I didn't buy anything there, was just looking.

On our way home we stopped at Bed Bath and Beyond ... I was looking for Way Way Beyond - instead Pumpkin told me that now that I was an older woman I had hot young boys checking me out.  I laughed and said "Who?!"  He pointed toward a guy placing items on shelves.  I again laughed and said "Whatever"  Then we walked past the guy and he looked at me, then glanced down and we passed ... Pumpkin was like "See, he was embarrassed and shy"  I retorted ... "No, he just realized I was a Monet" and bust into laughter.

I found a 4 foot fiber optic tree ... perfect for my living room since I have a baby grand piano taking up half of it.  20 bucks seemed like a deal, so again I headed to the car armed with a bag.

Finally at home I put my feet up for a while before I started dinner for my friends who were going to stop by to give me Birthday Wishes.  Oh and my roommate was so sweet and made me a chocolate cake!  It was yummy!

Happy Birthday to me!

More like too fast ...

The last few weeks I've noticed that around 6:30 every evening a BCSD bus flies past my house toward H St.  I'm serious, it really flies - fallen leaves scrambling around in its wake.

This bus is always going so fast I can't even catch the number ... wish my bus driver had been that dangerous.  Instead we poked along at the speed limit as she safely navigated her way through neighborhoods and potential children on the street.  Today I called the BCSD transportation department and spoke with the man in charge.  He was very pleasant and even knew the speed limit on my street before I told him.  He said that there are 3 buses that go that route and he'd speak with each driver.

Our next Magic Bus belongs to the Free Will Baptist Church.  AMEN!  This big white bus came barreling along Sunday afternoon, again heading toward H St.  I think maybe they were late for potluck.  Anyway, that one took a few phone calls to track down, there are several Free Will Baptist Churches in our area ...

First call ... Shafter Free Will Baptist Church:

"Do you have buses that say Free Will Baptist Church on them to transport your patrons?"

"Yes we do"

"Well, one was going about 35 or 40 mph down my street Sunday afternoon"

"Was it white or beige?"

"It was white"

"Oh, then that wasn't our bus, ours are beige ... that must be our sister church in Bakersfield - here's their number ..."

Second Call ... First Free Will Baptist Church - no answer, just a machine, so I figured I'd call the other Free Will here in Bakersfield.

Third Call ... Harvest Free Will Baptist Church

"Good morning, I was wondering if you have white buses that say Free Will Baptist Church on the side to transport your patrons on Sundays"

"Well, we do have one, but we really don't offer transportation, our sister church does."

"Is that church located on California Ave?"

"Yes it is, would you like to be picked up?"

"No, actually it was speeding down my street last Sunday"

He chuckles

"Let me give you their number!"

Forth call ... First Free Will Baptist Church - again, no answer, so I left a message with the Pastor.  Let's see if he returns my phone call.

Yay!  Not too hard a process this time and I think I've found a dandy.

I knew him years ago, then off he went to the Navy.  Now he's going to school, he likes to cook, clean, and do yard work.  Gosh, what more can a girl ask for?  He also has a 7 year old daughter who will probably visit every other weekend, which is great because Aidan will have a playmate.

I'm still going to miss my current roommies, but it's not like they are moving to outerspace, just to the east side.

So I went for the med check up.  I told him how my boss had said I could just have him write something saying I could use my iPod at work when I needed too.  He refused.  Said he didn't want to interfere with my job.  I kept trying to explain to him how my bosses are, how my work is ... but we obviously weren't getting through to each other.  I believe I loudly exclaimed "I don't think we are communicating here.  It seems to me that you are happy to prescribe a drug that can give me diabetes or other severe reactions, or a pill that knocks me out for a week that I can't even go to work ... but you won't prescribe something that won't screw me up that I already know works, and I'm in my body - not you - so how would you know?!"

He said he'd talk to the other doctors and get back to me at our next appointment in 90 days.  Yeah, if I go back to him.  I'm tempted to write him a letter letting him know that I did like and trust him, and he was the first med doc I had liked and trusted, but now that was all blown and he has just turned out to be another over medicating quack.

And can you believe that he asked me if I hear VOICES?!  Like I'd admit it if I did.  He asked me that after I told him I didn't like leaving home anymore.  He tried to blame that on stress.  I was like "Nothing has changed, I'm less stressed!  This has just suddenly been happening and it's not normal for me" 

He told me I need to see a therapist to talk about it, they'd help me work these issues out, including the annoying co-workers ... then he told me that it takes forever to get in to see one.  Thanks for the positive outlook Mr.  I rolled my eyes at him and said "I've seen one before, when I was younger, I've tried all the techniques, none have worked for me.  I can't calm down by counting down from 10 or even 100".

He looked defeated when I left.  I snatched my prescription from him and he asked if I was going to be okay.  I replied in my snarkiest voice "I always am" then stomped off.

But they did weigh me and I'm down to 128!  So this morning I decided to try on my old slacks (since I gained the weight I had to purchase 2 pairs of slacks to fit, and I've had to alternate them and skirts everyday for work) ... they fit!  OMG they fit!  And they aren't squeezing my thighs!  I'm so freaking happy, now I just need to tone and I'm all set.  Woot!

I want my MTV ... I want my HGTV, I want my TLC and I want my HISTORY!

Today Dishnet came out to install my satellites.  Guess what?  My trees are too thick and tall to get a proper signal, even if they attach the satellites to the tall pole in my backyard.

These trees have been a nuisance since I moved in.  I love them, don't get me wrong!  They have just been neglected for so long they are overgrown, dropping branches on my house and throwing branches to the ground during storms.  Not cool.

If any of you know a good tree trimmer, not one that is going to give the trees a whack job, please let me know!  Thanks!

Mine are leaving.  It's a big room in a cute old  bungalow in the Oleander area.  $450 plus half of the utilities, full house privileges including a washer and dryer.

Contact me for more details :)

I once knew a guy named Mark ... in highschool he shaved his head and walked around proudly announcing that he was going to be a Marine.  Well, he did become a Marine and the fact that he was a friend of mine, I was worried when we lost touch after the war began.  So I googled his name and found this:

Delusional Sgt. On The Loose Near Falluja

 

11.9.04 By Jim Krane, Associated Press

 

“We’ve been waiting to come here.  I’m glad we’re taking the town now,” Marine Sgt. Mark Middleton said Tuesday as he looked down from a rail platform at U.S. tanks creeping along the city’s northern edge.

 

“I’m surprised they’re even fighting us,” he said of the insurgents as gunfire crashed nearby.

 

The 28-year-old from Lake Forest, Calif., believes the rebels’ fighting spirit is “only temporary.”

********************

God Bless you Mark the Marine.  Now don't get me wrong, I have nothing against soldiers, I have something against the war. 

********************

I took the ASVAB in high school (it got me out of a few periods, what the heck) ... apparently I scored high because from my sophomore year until I was about 21 (that's 6 years) every form of military contacted me repeatedly.  My answer "No, no, no, no NO!"  I'd tell them I was legally blind "We can fix that with surgery ma'am"  I told them I had a child "Do you have a parent who can take legal guardianship while you are at boot camp?"  Then I told them I had a bad hip ... well that backed a few off.

Except the Marines.  Those pushy fucking Marines.  I was nearly 22 when I finally agreed to meet with a recruiter.  I was a waitress at a strip club and danced on the side at the time ... so here's waif me walking in with a low cut tank top, hair to my ass, and a big smile on my face.

He invited me into his office, offered me a seat, I sat ... and leaned back, practically put my feet up on his desk.  Then he went into the spiel of "We want you!"

Yeah, okay ... so what's so freakin special about me?  He went on about how I had scored exceptionally high on my ASVAB.  I asked him how high ... he said "You scored 76 ma'am, your math and mechanical score was above the average female"

"Hmm ... doesn't that work out to about a C?"

"I guess you could look at it that way ma'am"

"So, if a C is exceptionally high, what's the average score of the typical recruit you actually get to join the Marines?"

"A 26 ma'am" (Maybe it was 29, but it was a ridiculously low number)

"So you're telling me a bunch of idiots are walking around with guns protecting our country?"

He turned a bit red, but he honestly replied "Yes ma'am"

I smiled at him and told him how comforting that was to know (I heard a few muffled chuckles in the background)

He replied "That's why we need you!  You could enter and be whatever you wanted to be" and he rambled on about nuclear stuff, being an officer, blah blah blah.

I asked "Can I be a potato peeler in the kitchen?  All that other stuff sounds like too much work"

I could tell I was frustrating the shit out of him.  It was time for me to end my mission and say goodbye to Mr. Marine.  I thanked him for his time, but told him that I had better things to do with my life than to join the Marines, be brainwashed at boot camp, and then fight for my country ... I mean, there are people I'd fight for, but not every single fucking asshole.  Seriously, you hurt my friends or family and I'm a little 5'6" 130 lb psychopath pitbull.  Send those child molesters, serial killers, and sociopaths out to another country with a gun - they wouldn't come home with head trips and people would miss them less.

We shook hands, he thanked me for my time, he looked me straight in the eye and said that he respected me and knew that I was going to go far in life.  Yeah, definitely, and I boost that chance by not going to a foreign country carrying a gun fighting for a war that should already be over.

If you happened to drive down Forrest St. last night you may have ran into a few bizarre patches of fog.  Incidentally this slowed several speeding cars down.

Maybe I'll start using the fog machines more often.

Halloween was fun.  6 kids and 5 adults trick-or-treating down Oleander.  Normally I'd stay on the sidewalk and wait, but a few of the homes I just really wanted to get a peek inside ... like the Fritts place.  Two old guys were passing out candy, the walls were a salmony pink color in the entry way with white border.

The kids had a blast ... and the dogs did too!




Afterwords we went back to my house and kept fogging the front yard with two fog machines.  My neighbor and I would hide behind my oak trees and jump out at kids, or she'd lay on the ground under the fog and as it cleared a little (we'd completely fog the yard up as the kids came up, then let it drift away as they were leaving) she'd jump up and scare the buggers out of them (she's 6' tall with long black hair and was wearing a dark bathrobe).  I think that was the best part of the evening.

Oleander attracts hoards of kids and adults, including one woman drinking a 40 with a straw.  We kept trying to stay between the herds so our kids wouldn't be trampled at doors.  In the end they made out, and I got enough exercise walking over a mile.

Bat dog barked or growled at most people who had dark skin, a group of boys surrounded him at one house saying things like "Cute dog, hey puppy" ... but when they stuck their hands out that sent Igby into a fit.  He was snarling, growling, barking, and pulling at his harness.  One kid said "That's one of those Chihuahua Pitbulls!  I saw them on the Discovery Channel".  I had to laugh.