What are women good for?

"Look, the question, and we have to put this into correct words, say Pumpkin thinks women are only good for sex and cleaning, no cooking, because cleaning is stupid.  See, she's (Twinkie) just going to think I'm mean.  She found a guy that she really likes and he really likes her.  So we have to find what the average guy thinks" - Pumpkin.

So now he just told me to tell you all that Pumpkin thinks all women are good for is sex, cooking, cleaning ... and writing blogs.

Men, why do you get married?  What are women good for? 

Now he wants to take off what he said earlier about writing blogs, because I'm the only one to write blogs and that has nothing to do with it, he was just joking around.

"Now I didn't say why do we get married, cause we get married for good cooking and sex.  Hahah!  The question is what else are women good for besides cooking and sex.  Why are you ruining my question, it's a good question" - Pumpkin.

"The average guy will get married for good cooking and good sex.  And Twinkie is going to agree with this.  Hahaha!" - Pumpkin.

So a few weeks ago I got one of those lovely telefundraising calls from the "Fraternal Order of Police" - well, I was feeling generous that day and know the whole spiel, once upon a time I too was a telefundraiser.

So the guy goes off with his first screen, asking for the $75 to $100 donation.  Yeah right, I laugh.  He goes to screen 2 replying with how he understands that that can be a lot of money in these times and that people have been helping with smaller donations such as $40 or $50.  I crack up and say ... "Now when I tell you 'no' to that you are going to go to your third screen that tells me how people help with much smaller donations and how everything helps, blah blah blah"  He covered well, I agreed to donate $10.

I got the envelope a few days ago, being the busy person I am (you know, with stalking the radar trailer and all) I haven't had time to open the envelope, write a check, and drop it in the box.

Guess what ... I get a phone call today from the "F.O.P"  This bitch starts out with how she's from the FOP regarding my donation, I'm like uh-huh, totally expecting to be asked for more.  Instead I get "We haven't received it yet" ... like a freakin bill collector!

I was pissed.  I lay into her "I just got the envelope, how rude of you to call harassing me about my donation.  I shouldn't donate at all now!" 

She stammers and retorts "Oh ma'am I was just calling to confirm that you had received your envelope"  I just kind of made a phaphhh noise with my mouth and hung up.

I've worked for a telefundraising company before and I hope to hell our conversation was one that was monitored because her superiors need to know that these hard sell tactics are just pissing people off.  I hated my job, I had to raise money for the National Right to Life ... and screen two had me describe a partial birth abortion - HOW INAPPROPRIATE IS THAT?!  But I was a single mom, needing food and shelter, so I had to work the job I had and make sure I wasn't fired ... which they would do if I didn't follow the screens to the "t" - the only way I could finish a call is if I completed all 3 screens, still had a blunt NO, or they hung up on me.  I always just wished they'd hang up on me.

Anyway, I just pulled the envelope out ... I'm going to send the pledge form back - minus a check, but with a letter of explanation that if I'm being generous enough to donate almost an hours worth of my time at my job then I should not be harassed just a week or two after I made the pledge.  Yeah, if it had been a month after I'd received the envelope and I'd just forgotten about it, and it was a gentle reminder, not some bitch with a bill collector tone, okay, sure fine, remind me.  But this call was ill-received.

That's the question Pumpkin asked me last night.  After a debate (which resulted in me calling him a pig) he told me to blog about it. He wants to know why people get married ...

Do men just marry women for sex, cooking, and cleaning?

Why do men have to give the women money in a divorce when they worked for it all?

I want lots of answers, lots of opinions, pig headed or not.  Though I'm hoping I prove a point.  I did throw at him that I'm a catch, I have a house, a car, a job, a life ... I'd marry for committed companionship - LOVE.  He retorted that women like me don't need to get married, and obviously don't because myself and a few other women I know who have the house, car, job, aren't married at 30 or nearly 30.  I really didn't know what to tell him, I have a hard time arguing with someone stuck on stupid.

So ... why DO you get married?

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This morning I was surprised, well, more like shocked to walk out my front door to find a Radar Trailer practically in front of my house!  It was parked right in front of my car, in front of my neighbors house!

My battle with the Bakersfield Police Department hasn't been a waste of time, they are actually following up and listening to my pleas!  So thank you BPD, this is one small step for you guys, but a huge leap for my neighborhood and I.

Of course I will be posed in front of the trailer with my camera this evening, I'll remember to bring some snacks ... last time I got kinda hungry and thirsty, lol!  I'll also sit around closer to 5 and 6 - the last time I had to perform a civil ceremony in my living room at 5:45, so I had to start early, and end early.

Anyway, yay!  Unless of course they are just trying to shut me up, "Let's just meet her demands, then we won't receive anymore lengthy emails, at least for a while"

Here's hoping!

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Go here to view the photos from my Day 2 Radar Trailer Stake Out 

Unfortunately there were a few I wasn't able to catch ... one guy going over 40 and my daughter said that while she was walking to school someone flew by the trailer and it read 63!

My faithful companion became bored and fell asleep.

A radar trailer at my end of the street!

This afternoon, when I get home from work I'm going to sit and take photos of the speeders.  Eee!  I'm so happy!  Somebody at the Bakersfield Police Department is finally listening.  Don't get me wrong, I appreciated the past two efforts of a trailer at the other end of the street, but now that they have taken action for this end of the street I'm very pleased. 

Post note:  I was watering my lawn yesterday and a black suburban with tinted windows drove past, honked, and waved out their window at me like they knew me.  That was strange, I didn't recognize the man at all.

That song has been running through my head all afternoon since my co-worker said "Kindra, you're disintegrating" I knew what she meant, I've lost a lot of weight in the last month or so.  She commented that the day before she noticed my pants were really baggy on me.  These are the slacks I purchased late December when I weighed 129.  I was happy at 129, very happy, it's a good weight for a girl who's 5'7".

Pumpkin calls me the incredible shrinking woman.  Tells everyone he misses the "fat" me.  Dork.

I know a lot of you are thinking "Why is she complaining about loosing weight, god I only wish" ... well, I now weigh 116.  Last week I was 119.  I eat, but it's back to the way it was before I took that medicine that took me up to 140 from 120 in a month.  I've always been thin, my dad is thin.  I hated being teased growing up about my weight "Kindra, the anorexic freshman, the anorexic freshman yes she is" ...

Well, whatever - I'm just mad the nice slacks and jeans I bought from Express don't fit well anymore.  This skinny bitch it going to go eat a chicken pot pie now.

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These were taken in about a 15 minute time frame   I have more from my camera that I need to upload.

Is it a sin, is it a crime
Loving you dear like I do
If it's a crime, then, I'm guilty
Guilty of loving you

Maybe I'm wrong dreaming of you
Dreaming the lonely night through
If it's a crime, then, I'm guilty
Guilty of dreaming of you

What can I do?
What can I say?
After I've taken the blame
You say, "You're through you'll go your way"

But I'll always feel just the same
Maybe, I'm right, maybe I'm wrong
Loving you dear like I do
If it's a crime, then, I'm guilty
Guilty of loving you

~Yann Tiersen

(I feel guilty that the one I'm guilty of loving isn't the one in my life)

Pumpkin brought two boxes of See's, a mini rose plant, and a money tree to my office.  My big gift was going to see the Blue Man Group.

Later Quate came over to take away my fridges and stove, I dig Quate, he's a freakin hard worker.  You should have seen him and his friend taking down the weird steel poles and structures in my backyard last week.  He speaks little English, I speak little Spanish ... but we try pretty damn hard to communicate.

He called me yesterday, left a message, "Hello, how are you?  It's me, Quate.  You want amigo, we can have the stuff.  And when you have time, call me."

I called him after I got off work, he said he'd come over in a few hours with his cousin who speaks english "Because, you know, my English is no good"  Then as we were hanging up he said "Feliz Valentine's"  I replied "Feliz Valentine's to you too!" 

Then I stalked the radar trailer.

When Quate showed up he gave me a pen from his friends shop.  He said "This pen, it's from my friends shop.  He like this pen very much.  It is for you"  I like it very much too, it's blue with a gel grip and when you push the clicker the gel grip part lights up blue.  So FYI, Arvin Truck & Trailer repair has really cool pens.

Something about this guy I really like.  He's funny, smart, and honest.  He said he's lived here along time and still his English is no good.  I told him I've worked in Migrant Education a long time, and still my Spanish is no good.  I asked him if he wanted to do some work around my house, he did.  I asked his cousin if anyone needs girl clothes, he said he has a 22 year old daughter who does, so I began washing loads of clothes I was giving away, and pulled some better stuff that I really don't wear out of my closet.  So I get to see Quate and his english speaking cousin again today. 

When they had showed up UPS dropped of my box from LUSH, so after they left I unpacked it and pulled out the rest of Aidan's gift and let her open everything.  She was very happy.  Pumpkin liked his pj bottoms and Issey Miyake Homme, figured he needed a new scent.

After they left Pumpkin went to the store for fillet mignon and brussel sprouts, I started the garlic mashed red potatoes.  I didn't know Pumpkin had never had brussel sprouts before, should have guessed, his mother rarely cooks, he said they always ate out growing up.  So he called from Albertsons asking me if brussel sprouts looked like little lettuce.  I laughed and said they did, but they were more of a cabbage.  He said since I said brussel "sprouts" he was looking for sprouts or something.  It was my first time ever cooking steak.  I did a damn good job - Thank you Martha Stewart!  And Pumpkin liked my steamed brussel sprouts.  I told him they get a bad rap because people don't cook them the right way and then they taste nasty.  These brussel sprouts were abnormally large, so they weren't as sweet as the little ones, but they were still good.  Aidan loves them too. 

I sent Aidan to bed at 8:30 and we just watched tv, oh, he also surfed the net and worked on his webpage.  Lots of excitement!  Still, it was a nice night in.

The trailers gone away ... gone away ... gone away ...

Did I really expect it to be there this morning?  I was hoping, but wasn't holding my breath.  I've seen those trailers parked in areas for several days at a time, but nooo, not on my street.

Just wait until they get my load of photos, and the a letter telling them how people actually go faster heading towards Oleander and suggesting once again that a trailer should be parked in front of my house.

I was researching the trailers yesterday and found that you can purchase them ... there's sign post kind, I wonder how much it is ... I'd happily plant it in the sidewalk in front of my house.

Anyway, my traffic drama continues.  In the meantime my father is trying to convince me to just touch up my place, sell it, and buy another home.  I wanted to puke as he said "The perfect home would be built in the mid to late nineties, have the beveled walls, tile floors, a new kitchen" blah blah blah.  Um hello?  Suburbia HELL?  Yes, new homes are very pretty inside ... but they lack charm, character, and history.  Unless I bought a house in the Southwest, then maybe I'll have some drive by history.

So no way, the only thing I'd trade up for is an older home with less need of repair and a smaller yard.  On a quieter street, like Sunset, or the one right in front of my daughter's school.  I'd say Oleander, but shit man, that's an expressway too!  OI!

On the 8th I emailed the BPD again ... the email was provoked by a patrol car with lights on flying down my street at about 75 mph, then two more followed without lights on ... this was around 10:30 pm.

"Good evening,

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"Roof Dweller:  What does it mean to be a "Roof Dweller"?  The detailed answer to that question lies inside our work, but the short answer (and most important one) is that Roof Dwellers are simply people who "get" the Blue Man character and who feel some kind of personal resonance with the overall vibe and message in Blue Man Group projects."

Sunday evening Pumpkin took me to see the Blue Man group.  We had freakin awesome seats even though we'd just purchased them that day - he even sprung for the $85 tickets ... hmm wonder why he's kissing my ass.  Come to think of it, he's made me breakfast like 3 days in a row, and dinner.  I'm like "Bitch, get your ass in the kitchen" and he's like "okay" ... back to Blue Man ...

The performance was awesome, the opening act was amazing.  It was this guy named Mike Relm who mixed, spun, and scratched with lightening speed.  A visual and audio collaboration of Pop Culture.

"How to be a Megastar 2.0" totally rocked out with their cocks out, audience participation was key to success.  What really hit me was the background story, the lyrics of the songs, and the film that would periodically play on the large screens behind and to the sides of the stage.  The first thing they did was give the definition of Persona: the mask or façade one wears outside to satisfy the demands of the situation or the environment and not representing the inner personality of the individual.  Then showed different people in different windows of a high rise building, each wearing a welders mask, they would take it off, showing the true them ... but one man took his off and he still wore a mask, and mask after mask he tried to take it off while lyrics sang about how sometimes we forget who we really are.

The show continued with rockin music, hysterics, and just a whole lot of fun.  During a few songs you'd see the people again, one was a girl writing about not knowing who she was, then she climbed up the fire escape, onto the roof and suddenly realized.  You'd see people put on their mask, walk outside and become just an outline like on restroom doors.  You see one man with his mask on sitting in his cubicle, "I work on the highest floor. There's nothing in the way" - then he walks to the restroom "But I saw my picture on the bathroom door today.
I don't feel like working anymore, is that O.K.?"  Then he runs up the stairs to the roof, takes off his mask and is free.  You see others on rooftops removing their masks, finally free and lighting up with color, even the man in the beginning who had completely lost himself.

Finally the show ended with a burst of spiraling confetti shot over the entire audience.  Which one drunk woman kept gathering up and throwing in the air while the last song played on, then she shook bunches like a cheerleader.  Amusing.

Anyway, Blue Man Group rocks!

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Thursday is my favorite day of the week.  It has been since I was a little girl.  My baby brother was born on a Thursday, the trash man came on Thursday (it fascinated me so much to watch the auto arm that my teacher would let me sit on the steps of our portable when the trash man did the houses across the street ... yeah I was in a special class for smart kids), my daughter was born on Thursday, and now Thursday is good TV night.

Around 7 last night I decided to take a bath ... this is an expensive process because I'm addicted to LUSH.  I thought "Hmm, tonight I'll take a Lavender bath" so that way I'd feel relaxed and snuggly and ready to curl up and watch good TV on NBC.  So I begin to run the water, crumble half of a "French Kiss" in for movie star bubbles, then I step in and wash my hair with my Seanick Shampoo bar (it doesn't have a strong smell, the lavender would overpower it), washed with my "Oh La La" soap, rinsed with my removable shower head, grabbed a "Waving Not Drowning" bath bomb, tossed that in, then laid back on my pillow and let that soften my skin.

Heaven!  Finally I stepped out, put on my robe, and then threw my dog in the bath.  He's weird, really likes it, and keeps sniffing himself and running around all excited afterwards.  Bonus he smells like lavender.

After my bath I watched 3 hours of what I think was the best good night TV in a while.  Every show had me cracking up, well ER had it's drama.  Then I was ready for bed.

Grab the dog, toss him up (my bed is WAY too high for him to even think about jumping up), reach over for my nightly pills, pop them with some water, then lay my head on the pillow.

Then realization hit me.  I'd taken the wrong pills, or did I?  It's such a habit to grab a bottle, shake the dosage into my hand and then toss them back that I just kind of go on auto-drive when I do it.  So I thought for a minute ... "Shit, yeah I did just grab my morning bottle and pop two"  IDIOT, IDIOT, IDIOT!  Morning bottle is anti-depressant that gets me going in the morning and helps me suppress my lackadaisic type 7 personality.

I contemplated grabbing the nightly panic pill and taking that ... but then I didn't want to mix an upper with a downer.  So I fell asleep, eventually.  But it was the sleep of a speed freak.  Sleep sleep sleep sleep WIDE AWAKE!  Sleep sleep sleep sleep WIDE AWAKE!  and I shit you not, my dreams were in fast forward.

One of my dreams was like I was watching a commercial on television.  There are all these kids running around laughing and playing at a playground.  A mom is peek-a-booing around a corner at what looked like a 3 year old who giggled hysterically.  Then the camera panned out and some voice over said something like "Do you really know what's going on?  Help clean up our playgrounds" and you see that at the top of the play thing is one of those half bubbles kids look out of, it's full of white smoke, and there's this crack head trying to give himself the biggest hit of his life.

Suddenly I was the crack head, then I was a person sitting close to the crack head asking someone else if that amount of crank could make his heart stop.  Then he inhales and I feel my heart thud, he falls forward into the bubble.  I wake up.

Um, okay ... sleep sleep sleep WIDE AWAKE!  My dog is running to the edge of the bed, leaps to the floor then stands by the door.  I figure he must have to go, which is rare so early (the sun was just coming up).  So I jump up, open my bedroom door and he runs towards the kitchen (the direction his litter box is in), but only makes it to the dining room before he stops and starts heaving then barfs.  Eww.  He looks at me like "Mom, are you mad?"  I grab a sponge and say to him "Poor Igby!"  He slinks toward his bed in the kitchen (thinking he's in trouble still), gets into the kitchen and upchucks again.  Then he crawls to his bed and lays down.  I wipe up the next spot with a sponge and then squat next to him, scratch his back and say "It's okay Igby, poor baby, you don't feel good"

Then I head back toward my room, he being the loyal mamma's boy that he is, follows, so I grab his blanket and lay it by my bedroom door incase he needs to barf again (he'll just go barf on his blanket, never in my bed ... yeah, we've been through this before, he probably ate cat poo again).  He lays on it, I head to the bed, he follows, I help him up, he curls up next to me and sleeps.  He was really hot, but cooled down after a bit.  Poor thing.

I laid there, wide awake, but I'm a creature of habit and won't get out of bed until I absolutely have to.  I must have fallen asleep because Igby stirred and I woke up.  Then I just laid there and thought until the alarm finally went off.

Not wanting to come down in the middle of the day I took just one of my morning pills, and after my cup of coffee I'm spinning!!!  But also smiling like the Cheshire Cat.

I haven't seen him in about a week.  Okay, that's fine, I don't mind that at all.  What I mind is that he hasn't paid this month's rent yet.  He made arrangements with me that he gets his check on the 5th and would pay me on the 5th.  It's now the 8th.  I text him the total due on the 5th.  I called and left a message on the 6th.  Then yesterday I called twice, sent an email, and an email through MySpace.

I checked MySpace today, he's logged in, but didn't read the mail.  My phone message basically said "Unless you are dead or in a coma there is no reason for you not to return my phone calls"  I also informed him that if rent was not paid by 5 pm today I would tack on the late fee (since it'll be 3 days over due). 

Now, when do I serve a 3 day notice?  Does anyone know how many days over due the rent has to be for me to serve it?  His lease is up at the end of this month, so I can just not renew it and boot him then if he doesn't pay and keep his deposit, but that only covers half the rent and leaves me footing the entire PG&E bill for last month, water, and Internet. 

I'm so irritated.  I feel like I have been suckered as this was a friend of mine.  He used to be reliable and helpful, he acted excited about moving in, said he couldn't wait to do things around the house, that he liked to do those things to keep him busy.  Last month I had the "I'm not your mommy" talk with him, he said to keep riding him (about using things and not putting them away, like my sander, paint supplies etc.) that he's depressed and just give him a week or so to get out of the funk.  Well, it's been over a week and now rent is due and not paid.

Fabulous, just freaking fabulous.

So anyone know of someone reliable, trustworthy, and a team player who wants to rent a room?  I have a feeling I'm going to have one available soon.

Every night I listen to Pumpkin fall asleep, then eventually I fall asleep.  I take Klonopin at night to calm my daily anxiety, panic disorder, and to help me to stay asleep at night.  Once I'm out, I'm out, and I'll sleep soundly for 7-8 hours or more.  To me, this was a godsend, last year I was going CRAZY because I'd go night after night taking forever falling asleep then waking up every few hours (oh and not to mention the panic attacks, fun!)

Okay, so anyway ... last night I listened to Pumpkin fall asleep.  I concentrated on my breathing and tried to clear my mind.  Finally I drifted off and was dreaming mad vivid dreams (like usual) ... but my dream was like a movie and while I was watching it an unknown source kept touching my face, breathing in my face, like a fly ... I kept pushing it away, swatting at it ... then I became aware that I was not dreaming of this unknown source, that I really was pushing something away repeatedly, and woke up.  It was Pumpkin.  Fucking dumb ass was leaning over me nose to nose staring at me breathing in my face.  WTF?!  I yell "What is your problem?  Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you?  Why the hell are you breathing in my face?  Are you insane?"  All he replies is "I don't know, I'm sorry".

Okay, so now I'm awake, freaking tired, groggy, but wide awake from anger.  I stomp off blindly to the bathroom since I always have to pee as soon as I wake up.  Then stomp back to my bedroom and go into it again, asking him what his problem is, why does he have to wake me up, it's 3 am, what's his problem!  I have to work in the morning unlike him.  This wasn't the first time, but it was the most annoying time.  He's apologizing, and for the first time the apology wasn't the whiny "I'm soorrr-rryy"  He's trying to tell me that he doesn't know why that he was in a trance, didn't realize what he was doing until he woke up and doesn't know why he kept doing it.  Whatever.  I'm still livid, I know that I am going to have a crappy sleep the rest of the night, because for some reason, if I happen to be woken up then even if I fall back asleep I will wake up again and again and again.

So I lay down, and what sucks is I have to be on my side to fall asleep.  Then normally I roll in my sleep and end up on my back or other side.  Lately he's been getting to close to my face at night, so I always end up back on my right side so my shoulder and neck have been aching and I have a knot.  I'm bitching about this to him, he says "Well, lay on your back, I promise I won't do it again"  So I yell that I won't be able to fall back asleep unless I'm on my side. 

I'm laying there, eyes open shut, open shut, open shut ... shut shut shut.  *SIGH* I'm not falling back asleep, I'm too riled up.  He asks if it will help if he rubs my back.  I just reply "Whatever."

Eventually I did fall back asleep, but I really didn't get any REM, I must have woke up 6 times between 3 and 7 am.  Most of the times I was on my back, but I'd have to roll onto my side to fall back asleep.

So this morning when my alarm went off I was not ready to get out of bed.  I get sick to my stomach when I haven't had enough sleep.  So I had to call into work, I explained that I wasn't feeling well, needed to lay down for a bit and would be in at 10.

Yes, Pumpkin was still in bed.  He tried to snuggle me as I drifted to sleep, I pushed him away and slept for about an hour, got out of bed at 9:15 and took a shower.  He took the dog out and then did who knows what.  When I finally emerged from the bathroom he was in my bedroom just sitting on the bed, as I dressed I told him that I still wasn't okay about last night.  He says sorry again, that he won't do it again.  But that's the same old song and dance.  This boy will apologize about stuff, promise not to do it again, and then do it again.  It's always stupid stuff.  He's loyal, just immature, has a poor vocabulary, says Stupit, instead of stupid, Salit instead of Salad, etc.  He's mean in a childish way, like "You won't play with me so I'm going to take my toys and go home"  So he annoys me.  Our relationship has gotten to the point that if he didn't show up one evening I really wouldn't care.  Yet I still leave my door unlocked and let him walk in unannounced every evening to eat dinner, watch TV, and then sleep in my bed.  I don't even like giving him a peck on the lips when he asks for a good night kiss and leans over me for one.  So obviously nothing happens in "the sack" very often.

I'm in the kitchen feeding my dog, he asks if I want him to make me anything for breakfast.  I reply that that would have been nice if it was ready now, but I had to get to work.  He's trying to kiss up a little.  We walk out to our cars, I tell him I'm still angry, he says that he said sorry, and promises never to do it again.  I tell him that I don't believe him, he has to prove it, he swears he'll prove it by never doing it again.

Yeah, we'll see.

I bet you are wondering why I am still with this guy ... because it's comfort.  I don't like change, he's mister right now.  He knows I'm not in love with him, he knows I'm in love with someone else (who happens to live in Australia, long story, maybe one day I'll blog about it).  It's just that after 2 years I was tired of being alone.  Tired of being stood up on every date I was asked out on.  I needed a companion, some one to hang out with, someone who could take out my trash and lift the heavy stuff out of my car.  I have a male roommate, but he's turning out to be useless.  He's rarely home and if he is he stays in his room.  Occasionally ventures out and one weekend actually raked leaves for several hours.  He's taken the trash out a few times, but like I said, he's rarely home.

Don't get me wrong, I'm very independent.  I own a house, a car, have a steady job, and a home business.  I like nights alone or just watching TV with my kid ... but so many nights alone or just talking to an 8 year old can get old.  I like to sleep alone too, but if I'm doing that I feel much better if someone else is in the house.  If my daughter is home then it's fine, if my roommates home, I'm fine ... but if it's just me I spook myself out. 

This could go on forever, but the coffee I drank has run its course and I need to use the ladies room.  It's also getting so long I doubt people will read the entire thing if any of it at all.  I just needed to get it off my chest.

The other night I was reminiscing about when I used to be a "Bandstand Regular" on that short lived TV show American Dreams.  There'd be days where I was about to go insane from the duldroms of my day job, so I registered with an Extra's Agency in Burbank and would call the job line to see if I fit anything needed.  Usually, that would be American Dreams. 

I did a few other TV shows, The OC - it was a Valentine's Day Dance, they costumed me in a silvery gray heavily beaded practically see through dress.  It was beautiful, and by one of those expensive designers so you knew it was worth over $400.  When the episode aired I watched for myself, knowing who I'd been standing by, etc.  I caught a glimpse of me once, and my torso was behind a main character who was sitting down for quite a bit.

I look a bit like a deer in headlights, it was late and I had some random security gaurd take the photo.

I also did a day at Lake Castaic for CSI, the dude who plays the main cop was an absolute prick.  He kept blaming his mess ups on the extras.  That show has a HUGE budget, they had a mobile kitchen we could order whatever we wanted for breakfast.  Then for lunch they had a selection of pasta, chicken, beef, and a billion other things.  I was told by another extra that one day on set they were fed lobster, and even the extras go to eat that.  Anyway, I made friends with a comedian with gorgeous green eyes (later he gave me his number and took mine, we connected a few times, I should have jumped on that one, instead I shyed away).  We were selected to ride on the speed boat for scenes, that was awesome!  I was being paid to ride madly across the lake for an hours, then when we weren't needed in the background we got to hop off the boat in swim around in the lake.  After lunch he and I found the icecream cart which was giving out free gellato.  The bees around the lake were in abundance, we were running away from them at one point.  He screamed like a girl.  I loved it.

But back to American Dreams ...

Here's a list of the episodes I was on:

American Dreams Episodes Season 1 
Episode 24 - 5/11/03 - Ashley Williams as "Sandy Shaw" performing "Always Something There to Remind me" 
Episode 25 - 5/18/03 - Stacie Orrico as "Peggy Santiglia" performing "My Boyfriend's Back"

American Dreams Episodes Season 2 
Episode 31 - 11/2/03 - Alicia Keys as "Fontella Bass" performing "Rescue Me" 
Episode 32 - 11/16/03 - Steadman as "The Dave Clark 5" performing "Do You Love Me" 
Episode 40 - 3/7/04 - Ricky Fante as "Wilson Pickett" performing "Land of a 1,000 Dances"

Episode 24 and 25 we filmed the "Bandstand" the same day.  It was my first time being a paid extra and I no idea what to do or where to go.  Fortunately some of the people running around like chickens with their heads cut off were nice enough to point me toward wardrobe who quickly took my measurements, grabbed a skirt and blouse, shoes, then pointed me toward the hair and makeup trailers.  This always became my favorite part.  It's amazing what a little back combing and hairspray can do ...

I could be your mother.

Neil and I had broken up a month earlier - this was a LONG day of shooting.  I knew I was going to need a place to crash ... but he had said we shouldn't talk or contact at least for a month.  So I called another friend of ours in LA, but he was in San Diego and told me to call Neil, it had been a month, a month and 1 day I corrected him, haha!  So I did and he said he'd be happy to have me over.  So around 1 am I showed up with this big ol bouffant and a face caked with makeup.  The rest is another story.

Episodes 31 and 32 were filmed back to back over 2 days.  The first day on set I was about to leave the hair and makeup building when the door opened into me.  A pretty girl with cornrows bumped into me and said "Oh, I'm so sorry!  How are you doing today?" As she says this she gives me a hug.  I hear what she's saying but all I can look at is the 7 foot tall Michael Jordan type dude ducking under the doorway, and am thinking "Why is this stranger hugging me?" so I reply "Good" She then says "Are you excited about filming today?" and I reply "Yeah, it's always fun"  Then she perkily replies "Me too!  Okay, see you later" "Okay, bye"  we smile at each other, I walk out of the building and to the Green Room.

Once in the Green Room I'm waiting to be called on set and over hear the conversation near me "Did you see Alicia Keyes bodygaurd?!"  "Yeah, he's like 7 foot tall!"  It then dawned on me, that pretty girl with corn rows had been Alicia Keyes.  Damn, I felt like an ass.

I couldn't stay at Neil's, I couldn't reach anyone else, so I figured "What the heck, I'll sleep in my car"  The wardrobe lady even gave me a towel and access to the actor's showers.  In the end, that wasn't needed.  I met Jon Roy running down a hall - again and again and again, barefoot.  I mentioned how I was stranded and he said I could take his bed, he had a studio up the street, he'd sleep on the floor.  I could tell he was genuine, and I was absolutely correct - to this day he is my best friend.

Eventually we ended up in the Bandstand, it was time for Alicia Keyes to perform.  We'd also met a cool guy named Royal, so the three of us were up front, seated on the first row of the bleachers.  I'd told them how I'd "met" her earlier.  She walked onto set, stood next to the piano, glanced at those of us in the Bandstand, caught my eye, and began to wave at me and quietly said "Hey there!" with a big smile.  Respect to Alicia Keyes, absolute respect.

Then it happened.  A moment Jon, Royal, and I will never ever forget.  A moment that will join us together forever because on the day we met we saw "Alicia Keye's titty"  A phrase coined by Royal.  She was doing her number, wearing a strapless gown, at one point she was to sit on the piano.  As she got onto the piano I noticed her dress slipping, she kept singing, it slipped more, and more and more ... until it popped out.  She got a shy embarrased smile on her face as she quickly pulled her top up, but never missed a beat.  Again, respect to Alicia Keyes, respect.

When we finally wrapped that evening I followed Jon back to his place.  We decided to walk down the street to a bar and have a few drinks together - with our hair and makeup still done!  It was hilarious! 

The next day on set Jill Rappaport a correspondent for The Today Show was a special guest playing, what else, a journalist.  The next morning she was going to do a small feature on the today show and wanted a clip of a few Bandstand Regulars running up to her yelling "Mrs. Rappaport!  Mrs. Rappaport!" and then she'd sign autographs.  Jon, Royal, and I were 3 of the selected few to get this little guest spot appearance.

Episode 40 was my last time on the Bandstand ... my mom took in Foster Children and I looked after them M-F until 8 pm after school.  She didn't have anyone else to watch them for her, so there wasn't anymore getting away to scratch my film itch.  Jon was also on set for this shoot, I have a hilarious photo of us in the hallway I'll have to post later where I look like Joan Crawford.

The highlight of that day was when I was dancing in the Bandstand to "Land of a 1000 Dances".  They'd choose who'd actually pop up from sitting and dance standing in the bandstand.  I was told to pop up shortly after the song began, pop up I did, and dance like hell I did.  Take, after take, after take, after take, after take ... I was doing the mashed potato, the twist, I was riding the pony and nearly fell out of the bandstand.  At one CUT! the director actually spoke to me - this was rare.  Normally the AD's or 2nd AD's directed you, but he pointed at me and said "You are doing great, keep up the good work!  I like your energy"  So for several hours I danced my heart out with as much energy as I could muster.  When I watched that episode I was in plain sight for the majority of the scene dancing like a maniac.  When it was finally time to wrap I felt like I was going to colapse.

I miss my stint on American Dreams, it was fun ... unlike the other extra's who were trying to make it big and would moan about the hours and repetition, I would smile and enjoy every minute of it.  I knew that rarely does a non SAG extra suddenly get picked to say something (if they were they'd immediately have to be put into the SAG, otherwise the show would be fined and there are a small requirement of SAG Extras on set just for that purpose).  Also, it wasn't my day job, so I never got sick of it.  Though I wouldn't mind it being my day job ... well, not being an extra every day - I'd love to be in the crew.  That has always fascinated me.

Here's one more photo of me on set from the first show I was in - I took it off of the television.  They'd given me horned rimmed glasses to wear!  Yes, you can say it, I look like a dork!