Tell'em you want a full list of drugs that they are considering doing, so just in case you find them in the yard or corner of their room nearly dead, you'll know what to tell the doctor to save their lives.  Kid's will do what kids are going to do no matter how much you tell them not too. Having an open and honest relationship without fear of you on their part is all you can hope for as a parent.

Altering ones' emotional state of mind, be it thorugh drugs, "huffing" or booze is simply a symptom of something else: issues/pressure from peers, issues at home, etc. The challenge, I guess is to find/address the underlying cause and eliminate the desire to alter their reality perception.

I would think you might take them to Alanon or AA.  In my day we didn't even have marijuana.

I really don't know what "gas " is.  Paint? Hair spray?  Air Freshener?

The only thing we had was beer, and we drank that, not to alter anything, but to get silly, laugh and have fun.  And maybe chase girls.

Don you had all kinds of drugs in your day as well as mine. in the 20's and 30's stars snorted  coke like it was "headache powder. Wrapped up in packets in a big bowl at the door of parties. It just wasn't known about as much by most people.

I had a friend tell me of his huffing experience when I worked at GE. He's roughly my age. He told me they found his brother passed out on the sofa paint rag in hand,  Huffing is  huffing almost anything that will get you high, gas, taluenine (not sure of the spelling)  If you are doing it you are on the way to brain damage.  Harder drugs? how hard do you want? I'd say that's pretty hard. other than maybe heroin.

It could be something else  but chances are it's experimentation and then they start to enjoy the feeling. then it's addiction.  I don't agree there is always some other underlining  situation at hand because of it. What about a guy that has never had a drink and then has one and then suddenly because an alcoholic? You might say that;s not the case but sometime it happens just that easy.

" In my day we didn't even have marijuana." i assume you went to school with Jesus then.

lies.

"i assume you went to school with Jesus then."

I nearly spit my coffee all over my screen! That's about the funniest damn thing I've read in a long time.

Joe- there is always an underlying cause for choosing to do something- even once- that one knows is "wrong", potentially addictive or physically damaging. From simple curiosity to a need to escape from stressful issues.

As for a person who becomes an alcoholic after a single drink...? I cannot speculate on anything other than my own experience. Having been a boozer and a user (alcohol and meth) I can say from personal experience that mere curiosity or experimentation was not my catalyst to an ongoing addiction. Nor was it for anyone that I know who drinks or uses.

BTW- I am not a "meth-head". At least not any more.

How's that for brutal honesty?

Honestly, i depends on what age they are, since they are 12-14 their parent need to whoop their ass and hold them accountable for their actions. I was a pain in the ass kid but never did that. I smoke a lot of Pot as a kid though so i wasn't perfect. Are these kids YOUR boys? TAKE THEM TO A SHITTY neighborhood and show them the life these losers live, GROUND THEM, TAKE EVERYTHING AWAY, make it to where they don't have the chance to do that.

 Wow- Annie is gonna be one tough muthah! Though I agree, consequences equal to or greater than the offense is in order. Opportunity to repeat the behavior needs to be limited. Perhaps redirect their off time by enrolling them in some volunteer activities- maybe with Teen Challenge.

Yeah, thats a tough one.  The biggest thing is to not let them get out from your radar and not let them think nothing will be done.  I've run into too many parents who say "I've done all I can" and then I wonder "So saying 'don't do that' and then laughing and accepting it and allowing friends to bring it over and use in the house and everything else you've done to become the safe home for those people is doing everything you can?'"   Tough love in the toughest form.  But thats a tough line to walk to make sure to not be authoritarian, but preventive.  Definitely a tough one.  Professional assistance + extra curricular activities are always a plus

Thank you all for your advice. Its a scary thing to see your children making poor decisions that may effect the rest of their life's..They are under the microscope and they know that I am not stupid. What really scares me is at 14 I was a daily pot smoker and drinker. My parents were stupid or they just didn't want to see what was going on. I tell my kids I been there done it and don't think for a second that I want know if they screw around with drugs and Alcohol. 

NEVER TELL YOUR KIDS your mistakes, cause then they may think "OH you did it and turned out OK" they might not be so lucky. My son is almost 8 and know what drugs are, he has been what bad things drugs can do to a person and their family. Hopefully he will take that knowledge with him as a teenager, also I'm up his ass all the time making sure he does what he needs to. I try to  give him the impression that HE will get away with nothing. He is a boy scout and is really into it.  He hated sports so i had to find something he really loves. He is a good kid, nice kind and wouldn't hurt anyone. hes not rude like other kids, of course he has bad says where he trys to talk back but I'm a believer in spankins =D..... I grew up with parents that talked to me, like feelings, consequences, and hippie bullshit if you do that it will make me sad. Don't act like that it hurts my feelings. My mom i think spanked me MAYBE 5 times my whole life. NO, KIDS don't respond to FEELINGS they will respond to taking their toys away, TV away, games, etc. make their life miserably boring until they straighten up.... works well. i think. =D Yes was a horrible kid and did lots of stupid things, hopfully i can prevent that with my kids.

Kid's do not even need drugs to kill themselves with these days. They also play the blackout game by choking themselves. Kids are going to do what kids are going to do. You can talk to them all you want and you can punish them all you want, you can be the upright moral hitching post and still have a kid that goes off the edge. You can keep their little hands busy with controlled activities but the day will come when they will move out on their own and do what they are going to do. I'm with GayinOh8 I'd be finding out whats going on in my kids head. The only way to do that is to talk to them openly and honestly without them having fear of talking to you openly and honestly about their lives. At least a thrid of people in prison and state hospitals come from loving homes with parents who did do all they could do. Reality is, some kids are just going to take to that life style no matter what you say or do to help them over come their urges to do crazy things.

Hopefully Anon. when they do  move out of the house what you taught them will stick with them. That means yes talking to them, Yes punishment when they do things they are supposed to, just like out in the real world. You do drug out there, you go to jail. We would like to have that from happening.  You quoted 0h8 : I'm with GayinOh8 I'd be finding out whats going on in my kids head. If you are a good parent you should juuuust about have that figured out.. That does take communication. But  sometimes they say one thing and do or mean another. Think about the worse case scenario for them. Then think of what you might want to do  to prevent that. Sometimes I feel as though I'm In a chair strapped down and can't  move when it comes to my child. Sure I can teach him and  make him mind me when he's here (he knows there is an ultimate  answer to something he knows he's done wrong.)  But he lives with mom. Mom tends to  caudal him and treat him like a little child at time. He's 11 years old. I do believe she thinks he will do as she wants him to, not what he wants to do. Some parents talk to their kids but do they really closely watch them or their reactions? Do they tear their room apart?  Read diaries? Examine their lap tops? Cell phones? Yeah seems harsh. But fining out your kid died from say huffing computer "dust off"  and you could have stopped by being a little more observant  would be a nightmare played out the rest of your life.   I don't mind spanking my 11 year old, I see past the minor pain in the ass to him to the lesson learned. I don't think his mom is the same way. So I feel at times I'm tied up and can't get to my kid when I know he really needs me. Not when things are fun and cool, I mean when he is crying out for guidance. That's why my prayers and my actions and my talking to him about drugs are important, for him and for me.

The comment "I did everything I could have" shouldn't be any reason to not continue to look for answers. Never give up.

To answer oh8 " Joe- there is always an underlying cause for choosing to do something- even once-

I think in this case that's incorrect. I think some people are like Forrest Gump, remember the symbolism? The floating feather on the wind? Some people are like that. They stumble into a lot of things in life. Because they just weren't planning or thinking it through.  Bad jobs, Not going to school. Drugs etc.

"even once- that one knows is "wrong", potentially addictive or physically damaging. From simple curiosity to a need to escape from stressful issues."

I think some people that end up doing drugs have bad self esteem due in part by maybe their parents lack of being there for them or  not being able to communicate to them. Or maybe communicating , but sending the  wrong signal. (the buddy parent) Sometimes some people will say, "my parents was good to me"  and they still end up doing drugs. But I think if they looked deeper some might realize that their parents where not  good to them and they were being co-dependents to their parents.

So yeah, SOMETIMES there is an underlining reason. But it's not always the case.