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Michael Jackson - 8/29/58 - 6/25/09

"It always happens in 3's" everyone says of celebrity deaths...

First Johnny Carson side-kick Ed McMahon, then '70s pin-up and TV star, Farrah Fawcett and now...MICHAEL JACKSON? NO WAY!

As the word began circulating that Michael Jackson was ill this afternoon, the feeling of bad news seemed inevitable.

Just earlier today we got news of Farrah Fawcett's death. As that news was just beginning to settle, there was a sense of relief that accompanied it. Farrah had cancer and shared her story with the world on TV. It was a sad sight to see her go through her daily medical regimen and her reaction to tabloid fodder. Rest and relief was finally granted to one of America's most beloved beauties.

But MICHAEL JACKSON? NO WAY!

For today's teenagers it's always funny to see their reaction to a picture of the MJ of the '70s & '80s, next to the MJ of the '90s and '00s.

"You mean he was black?," is usually the first reaction accompanied by the scrunched eye brows in disbelief. Then of course there's the numerous court cases, lawsuits, and controversies of every shape and form.

Truth be told, he was quite odd - a tormented musical genius, maybe? Who created this guy?

Controversy and personal life aside, there's no denying his worldwide impact iin the areas of music, dance, fashion, and comedy. Yes, comedy...you know exactly what I'm talkin' about too.

Michael Jackson was The Beatles and Elvis of my generation - all wrapped up into one skinny "Bad"-ass.

My earliest memory of Michael Jackson was most likely on Soul Train one Saturday morning, or watching their silly "Jackson" cartoon which probably made no sense. My sister's owned all the Jackson hits on vinyl - from the early Jackson 5 stuff to the '70s disco R n' B sounds of the "Destiny" LP and beyond. I can still see my sister doing the robot to "Dancing Machine" in a robe, with a towel wrapped around her head and me laughing.

There were more hits I can remember hearing again and again at my home, especially early mornings with my sisters getting ready for school. Damn, it was early!

As a kid, I was mostly an observer and not really allowed to go near the stereo, but when I was allowed, it was usually to put on Michael Jackson music. For my 10th birthday, my brother Art took me to the record store (yes, kids that's what they called them.) My first vinyl LP ever was "Off The Wall." Damn, that record is DOPE! To this day, it rocks...

"Keep on, with the force don't stop...Don't stop til' you get enough!"

Goodtimes everytime you threw that record on.

True story...My sister Monica named my nephew, the infamous DJ Mikey - seen DJng at most Mento Buru shows, after Michael Jackson. As I write this, he's putting together a special Michael Jackson mix...

By the time high school came around in the early '80s, I wasn't much into Michael Jackson anymore like I used to, preferring more punk and harder edged music, but when it came to dancing with girls, Michael Jackson was usually a way.."in".

Do you remember watching the Motown 25 TV special? I do. MJ and his brothers doing a medley of hits, then the legendary, "I really love those old songs, but I have new ones..." statement, then BAM! The opening snare of "Billie Jean", comes on and everyone just stood still in disbelief. There was MJ, all glittery, whit socks and shiny shoes, and one glove...the crowd erupts - on TV and at home.

The next day, everyone at school talked about it, imitating the "moon walk", like a bunch of loons.

I had two very close friends in particular who were "Thee Michael Jackson Fans", of the school - Rick and Norma. Rick was as skinny as Michael, same skin color (he was a dark Mexican okay?) Everyone started calling him "Michael", and he was fine with it. My friend Norma was just one of those lovable, crazed fans who owned anything and everything with MJ's name or likeness, down to pencil's, sticker's, you name it...

My sister Monica was the first person I knew who owned "Thriller," but not for long. Norma, Rick, everyone and their mother had it and memorized it. Rick could dance like MJ, but not moonwalk, that was a little too silly to imitate.

Soon, merchandising was exploited in ways we've never seen before...

One imitation white MJ glove, not decorated with rhinestones, but GOLD PAINTED Motown Records logos on a white, cotton glove - almost like one you'd take to work in the fields with. This was packaged with a really bad "greatest hits' collection that did not include a recent hit, but always had a recording of "Rockin' Robin". No I didn't own one..I was listening to The Police's "Synchronicity" a little more, but that's another story.

Then the Jackson's reunion came and everyone rejoiced! Oh, it all seemed fishy to begin with...and was...

I couldn't afford a ticket to the tour, BUT I did win a call-in contest with Doug Deroo on KKXX or Q94 (?) to be entered to win. My takehome prize was a twelve pack of Pepsi's with the "Victory" album cover and fake autographs. Plus, a copy of the "Victory" album...Too bad that record sucked. My friend Norma got to see MJ live that tour at Dodger Stadium, accompanying a group of local cancer patients. That was nice...

You have to remember Michael Jackson was looked at like some sort of deity at the time. While we started to laugh at him, his star power was soooo big, you knew this was what it was like during Elvis & The Beatles' heyday.

The rest of MJ's musical legacy was...well...mixed..

'87s "BAD", was a great record and he still had the creative power with Quincy Jones at his side. '91s "Dangerous" was OK, but after that it was pretty sterile. Plus the morphing facial features and same ol' dance routines were the same as it ever was.

During that time, comedian / musician "Weird" AL Yankovic had created two of the greatest parody songs & videos ever - "Eat It" and "FAT", based on "Beat It", and "BAD". Nirvana's Kurt Cobain would later remark something that because of the success of those songs, a Weird Al parody was a sign that you've arrived...Don't quote me, but you know what I mean...

We all know what the rest of Michael Jackson's bizarre life was like. The internet spares the privacy of no one and tabloids lived off MJ until his death today...

Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, and Perez Hilton shared news and comments from fans and critics around the world.

Besides texting my nephew DJ Mikey, the first person I spoke to after the official announcement of his death was my friend, Norma. She was crying when she picked up the phone after 2 rings. Poor Normsie...It felt like high school all over again.

Mikey told me he's putting together a special Michael Jackson mix for some of his shows this weekend. The music memorials have already started and will most likely continue...

My favorite Michael Jackson moments:
-The Motown 25 TV special and seeing the Moonwalk for the first time.
-Watching the "Thriller" video debut on network TV.
-Watching "Thriller" video on MTV with lil' Mikey and watching him act it out. It's no wonder he memorized it as a child - it was on all day, everyday.
-MJ sweeping the Grammy's with "Thriller".
-Captain EO in 3-D at Disneyland.
-There's a YouTube video with Michael Jackson, James Brown, and Prince onstage at once, filmed for a tribute to JB from the '80s. You gotta see that video. MJ was bad, but for Prince it was a war for stage supremacy.

Biggest Michael Jackson regrets:
-Not seeing MJ perform live in concert.
-Never being able to look forward to Michael Jackson doing the album from "left field". I'd always wanted MJ to release a real soul record - partnering with The Roots, or old blues and gospel cats, or go back to some of those great '70s sounding Jackson records...

There you have it...Rest in peace, King of Pop.

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So, the other day I was having a conversation with a friend of mine and during a funny conversation about the movie 'The Hangover' and the hilarious "car in the condom" scene - she revealed a most alarming fact about herself...

SHE'S NEVER PURCHASED CONDOMS BEFORE! EVER!

I couldn't believe it! Going back and forth about why she didn't have the guts to buy them, I decided to blog about it and pose the question to you dear Bakotopians like a case study of sorts...

"Have you ever bought condoms before?"

Please gimme a 'Yes' or 'No' below and feel free to share a funny, embarrasing, or not so funny story with us. Why or Why not? Are you shy? Too embarrassed to buy from a liquor store, pharmacy, or? RU Celibate? Think it's the guy's job? Think it's the girl's job? OR?

I mean, condoms are a silly thing - look at the geek in the picture, and are a source of classic comedy ala 'The Hangover', etc...More importantly, safe sex is best, right?

We're all adults, don't be prudes...please discuss.

Also printed in Bakotopia magazine issue 57, 6-25-09