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Paperback Writer
A novelist blogging in Bakersfield

A blog about Arts & Entertainment and News.
About thenovelist


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N.L. Belardes
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VIDEO: CSUB Economist Talks Stock Crash
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Oildale Woman Gunslinger, Red Chalk Penises, Car Bombs And More...
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Dead Cat At The Old Folks Home
Shock Jock Steals Signs, Matt Munoz Of Bakotopia Quoted
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If you like comedy, you'll love this piece. It's the best comedy I've written. And in a way, it's terrifying too...

I once lived in a little white house near downtown Bakersfield in the Oleander area. A rental, it wasn’t a fancy house. Probably built in the 1950s, it was still comfortable, had three rooms, and was just down the street from quaint homes built in the 1920s. Yet like some forgotten pagoda on a no-name Osaka hill, its cobwebs held secret voices and its cracks harbored spirit warriors.

(Read the full article)

Link: http://www.thenervousbreakd...

Posted in the Family & Home interest group.
Topics: samurai rats, japanese tales, Horror films, dead animals, weird pet stories
posted by thenovelist on Thursday, August 28, 2008 at 10:06 AM
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If you've been reading along with my non-fiction magic realism book Thick White Crust, then you'll want to read the fourth installment, "Legacy."

The serialization of my west coast 9/11 story inspired Savannah Guz, who was working at the Smithsonian at the time, to tell her own riveting story, "9/11 Inside District Borders."

The LA podcast, GPod, where I talk about Thick White Crust will go online September 11.

On a related note, Brad Listi, founder of thenervousbreakdown.com will be blogging from the Democratic National Convention.

Anyway, stop by "Legacy," leave a comment or question and I would be happy to write back.

Link: http://www.thenervousbreakd...

Posted in the News interest group.
Topics: 9/11, Latino Fiction, Chicano author, California writer, non-fiction, magic realism
posted by thenovelist on Monday, August 25, 2008 at 10:14 AM
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I've been sharing my 9/11 story on thenervousbreakdown.com in a serialized novel titled "Thick White Crust." I just posted chapter three, "September." 

(Link: http://www.thenervousbreakd...)

You can go read it if you want. If you do, please leave a comment. I'm interested in your thoughts and opinions of 9/11.

What's more important is the idea that many people have personal 9/11 stories that they haven't felt comfortable to share. Just maybe you were having your own crisis that day. If you want to share on this site or on www.thenervousbreakdown.com, cool. If not, well that's a day kept personal and closed off for many people. Though I would be interested in reading yours. - n.l.

Posted in the News interest group.
Topics: 9/11, Latino author, chicano non-fiction, magic realism, Central Valley, California author, N.L. Belardes, thenervousbreakdown
posted by thenovelist on Thursday, August 21, 2008 at 07:22 PM
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The magic realism had already started. Sugar skull ghosts and sparks of firework lightning bolts. It was September 10, 2001, Las Vegas. I just had a summer of dreams: airplanes, white tunics, exploding casinos. I left my girlfriend that day. I was going to hitchhike to California across the Mojave Desert the next morning, September 11th. Somehow, as the story will say, I got to California. Over the next several months I scribbled “Thick White Crust.” I could barely stay ahead of it as it chased me. I ran down flights of stairs into a university to let it out and then ran back out into the daylight, enveloped once again in drowning literary moments. The story is magic realism non-fiction. It’s a bite of a sugar skull. It’s the moment fireworks burst. It’s whatever you need it to be as you dream while asleep or awake.

Chapter Two from Thick White Crust posted at TheNervousBreakdown.com.

B O N I F A C I O The weather was a little windy and the sun was beating its fists onto the desert floor. It was the day before dia de los rascacielos, the name I later heard a man on a bus give for the attacks on the World Trade Center. Read more »

*Please stop by and leave a comment or question. I would love to hear from you.

Posted in the Arts & Entertainment interest group.
Topics: Latino author, Chicano fiction, magic realism, 9/11 story, west coast, literary, emerging writers, Central Valley, Spanglish
posted by thenovelist on Monday, August 18, 2008 at 08:35 AM
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I used to work for an animation company so either I'm a big kid or I just love animation. The new animated film, Igor The Movie, coming this September starring the voices of John Cuzack and Steve Buscemi have added my myspace profile to their top friends.

Check them out and add them as a friend at  www.myspace.com/igor_movie. Watch the film trailer and see the cool movie artwork.

I'll be interviewing Chris McKenna, who wrote the film, which is like Hunchback meets Frankenstein and animated Tim Burton movies... - n.l.

Posted in the Arts & Entertainment interest group.
Topics: Igor the movie, animation, 3D, John Cuzack, Steve Buscemi
posted by thenovelist on Thursday, August 14, 2008 at 04:20 PM
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News Flash.  I'm hitting the ground running and taking campaign funds from where I can... Watch the Video. A must! - n.l.

Posted in the Politics interest group.
Topics: N.L. Belardes, KERO, KGET, KBAK
posted by thenovelist on Tuesday, August 12, 2008 at 05:48 PM
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Only a guy would understand this video of 1980s geeks stuck in the past. I think. Must see though. - n.l.

Posted in the Arts & Entertainment interest group.
Topics: Dungeons & Dragons, Warcraft, geeks, sex, female superheroes, gay, weird dudes, 1980s
posted by thenovelist on Monday, August 11, 2008 at 05:38 PM
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It was a really huge tree. I mean huge! Watch the video.

Take a look at my latest article on TheNervousBreakdown.com titled, Jonathan Evison Meets The Largest Tree In The World, A.K.A. The Lulu Book Tour In Bakersfield.

Excerpt:

Jonathan Evison stood against the giant.

Ancient, massive, untouchable to many, the General Sherman tree was suddenly a towering symbol of the publishing world. Yet there was Evison—a Lilliputan caught in a world of giants—having hopped a little fence surrounding the tree to touch the beast.

Evison, author of “All About Lulu” and the forthcoming novel, “West Of Here” had just finished a book signing in Bakersfield. “All About Lulu” is honest, controversial, healing: a bodybuilding book of familial discontent. It’s America’s nuclear family under a broken microscope. The main character is a geek, hopeless, hopeful, All-American and tougher and more sarcastic than any stereotypical high school jock from the 1970s.

Read the full article and leave a comment over on TheNervousBreakdown, Please.

Posted in these Groups:
Topics: General Sherman, Sequoia, Jonathan Evison, video, ALl About Lulu, book tour, emerging writers
posted by thenovelist on Sunday, August 10, 2008 at 10:00 PM
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I will be at Russos at the Marketplace pimping out emerging writer Jonathan Evison and his new book "All About Lulu." Read my review of his book.

When? 1 pm today (SATURDAY).

Please stop by, pick up a book.

Please help support writers like Jonathan who have traveled to Bakersfield to meet people like you. - n.l.

Posted in the Arts & Entertainment interest group.
Topics:
posted by thenovelist on Saturday, August 9, 2008 at 11:25 AM
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I don't know why I love this stupid dancing skeleton video. It's stupid. You can hum carnival music along with it or play the Star Wars Imperial Death March or Hanna Montana and it's going to still be stupid. Kind of like the Star Wars kid. It's just dumb, but funny. I think it's because it was me and my kid goofing off. I have one of him in the same costume playing a Johnny Cash song. We're idiots. So, anyway, do you have a stupid video or story? My old girlfriend just called me and said she tripped and fell in front of 10,000 people at a concert at Blossom (Outdoor Theater) in Ohio where Radiohead was playing. "I wish I had that video!" I said...

Anyway, stupid is good and fun sometimes.

Posted in the Family & Home interest group.
Topics: Stupid video, Day of the dead, dancing skeleton, N.L. Belardes, dumb, idiots, father son
posted by thenovelist on Friday, August 8, 2008 at 09:51 AM
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The magic realism had already started. Sugar skull ghosts and sparks of firework lightning bolts. It was September 10, 2001, Las Vegas. I just had a summer of dreams: airplanes, white tunics, exploding casinos. I left my girlfriend that day. I was going to hitchhike to California across the Mojave Desert the next morning, September 11th. Somehow, as the story will say, I got to California. Over the next several months I scribbled “Thick White Crust.” I could barely stay ahead of it as it chased me. I ran down flights of stairs into a university to let it out and then ran back out into the daylight, enveloped once again in drowning literary moments. The story is magic realism non-fiction. It’s a bite of a sugar skull. It’s the moment fireworks burst. It’s whatever you need it to be as you dream while asleep or awake. - n.l. belardes

H A U N T “There will be strong memories, my brother,” smiled Bonifacio.

He held his arm around me and hovered there in the room like an archangel. Still dressed as he was while waiting tables at the local bistro, his white waiter’s uniform had big round buttons that dotted a double-breasted waistcoat. His arm was a seraphim wing that held me securely, while his wide, downturned face, as kind as it ever was, hung close to mine. Thick shiny black hair, normally bushy and unkempt, had been trimmed short and wavy against his head.

His full lips parted a little but he said nothing more. And then his image faded.

Yet, he was there.

Dark and olive-skinned, Bonifacio stood next to me, a strangely Arabian-looking Chicano with brown small-set eyes and strong square features. He smiled handsomely even though he had added a few pounds since I last saw him wandering drunk on downtown Bakersfield’s bar alley streets.

It was late April, 2001. We had both seen my mother lying in her funeral casket just the day before. Her eyes had sunk as if two black coals had been placed over them, then lit and burned away to reveal the deep pit of death that hangs above the face of the dead.

Her skeleton no longer danced beneath her skin with movement and life. It was held still by an unseen hand, hung silent and no longer brooded over the passing of things. She had begun death’s dance in the spirit underworld, perhaps even smiled again. Spirit-skeletons smile, move beneath fiery sparks of the living. Ghosts dance among them. Devils and angels too. They sanctify the under-realm of mankind. They flood the spirit darkness. They wave their hands and suddenly there are bright glistening waterfalls of red-lit Roman candle rain falling into infinity.

Later in Bonifacio’s house on Elm Street we ate jalapeños with beef smothered in cabbage, green onions, and green salsa all wrapped in hot flour tortillas.

“Those memories,” I said. “They will haunt me.”

“Your father, I understand. But your mother—she will be no ghost.”

“No? You can’t be sure of that. Like all writers’ dreams, they will haunt like a curse. I am surrounded by visions, Bonifacio.”
 
“Eat. The food is good, right? Fill yourself up before your crying soul takes too much of you.”

Bonifacio was as good of a cook as he was at waiting tables of wealthy businesswomen, politicians, salesmen and ag-brokers. His delightful method of cooking—as he explained his every move in the kitchen, politely, with fondness for those he served—made him very much like his migrant mother who had recently fallen ill. Her polite smile and command over a kitchen was more than the enduring love of a migrant over pinto beans properly taken from sorrowful fields and cooked to perfection. It was pure Mexican culture driven into the heart of the Southern San Joaquin Valley. The slow transformation of a people, to see, through a meal, through a mountain of refried beans, cooked and mashed from a long night’s soaking, to become washed clean through the love of a migrant mother. I could tell Bonifacio saw himself, like other sons of migrants, transformed into an educated generation of cultural wanderers.

Read The Full Chapter

Stay Tuned For The Next "Thick White Crust" Chapter: BONIFACIO

Honorable Mention: Bakersfield City. Let’s face it, there are a lot of boring city jobs out there folks. Just imagine them before you go to sleep at night.

10. Almost anywhere in Kern County real estate. It just can’t be exciting unless you’re the real estate agent selling million-dollar homes. Anything else and it’s just pencil pushing and contract signing. Algae-filled pools in foreclosed homes are kind of colorful though. Zzzz…

9. Golf Cart Cop. I remember seeing one of these traffic cop folks having to clean up the downtown smashed county seal after it fell in a dust storm. Not a fun job putting chalk on tires either.

8. Long John Silvers. Now that pirates are sort of out of fashion I can’t see this franchise lasting much longer in Bakersfield. Johnny Depp better make another film.

7. Bakersfield Californian. Really depends on what you’re doing. I always think reporters have cool jobs. But for people distributing newspapers. I just can’t see any inky fun in doing that. Although the old video game Paperboy was killer.

6. ProSoft Technology. Located on top floor of Washington Mutual Building in downtown Bakersfield. What can I say? Without Doug Sharratt, that company has to be about as lively as the Crystal Palace without Buck Owens favorite chicken fried steak.

5. Bill Thomas Terminal. I just can’t see screening Bako folks before they step on planes as a fun job. This isn’t LAX we’re talking about, folks. It’s a terminal in the middle of nowheresville. The Homeland Security patches are the only thing cool to look at.

4. Marketplace security cop. You ride bikes around watching kids make-out. You break up fights between boys who just made out with girls. You pick on small kids. Kinda boring. Or is it?

3. Valley Plaza Mall. There aren’t even good teen angst mall movies these days. Malls are boring places to go to unless you’re seeing a movie. They’re a great place to go to if you’re trying to hook up with drug dealers or watch their girlfriend’s sell all their hard-earned drug-dealing boyfriend's crack money. Try selling shoes at a mall. Talk about stinky feet.

2. Any Pentecostal Church. Need I say more? Some of their preachers probably have cool tattoos though. So do their secretaries come to think about it.

1. Kern County Building on Truxtun Avenue. Do you know how boring it is to even look at that building? I practically fall asleep while driving past it. I have often seen gaggles of employees walking to sandwich shops and gossiping about other workers. It’s a job requirement: must be a good gossiper, must wear a bland dress, must claw way to top of county food chain. Just ask Cubicle Dweller.

***Post your honorable mention in the comments...

Posted in the News interest group.
Topics: top 10, bakersfield jobs, employment, Kern County career, truxtun avenue
posted by thenovelist on Monday, August 4, 2008 at 05:02 PM
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It's really annoying when BLT posts three blogs in a row when he could have just consolidated them into one here on Bakotopia. But anyway. I promised my kid I would mention his show last night at the Gate. "Dad, will you pimp us out," I think were his words.

EXCLUSIVE: CHECK OUT SHOW WRITE-UP, PICS!!

I didn't expect BLT to be there... but you never know. Even that Bako Sound sorta dude could have shown up in his cavalier new cowboy hat and denim jumpsuit.

Anyway, Dirty Spanglish has a new indie sound that I'm digging. I hope some peeps check them out soon. It was a youthful night of musack. All the bands are high school age and younger, including L.A.'s Wild Youth. Dirty Spanglish performed with them at Pasadena's Vromans bookstore during the last Harry Potter book release. Go to the DS site to listen to a rough cut of their new indie-sounding song, "Tuesday."

Other bands included the Rozzes, Abduction and Sell Yourself.

Just having fun, BLT. But yeah, consolidate! Peace!

Posted in the Arts & Entertainment interest group.
Topics: dirty spanglish, Wild Youth, harry potter, Wrock, Disney band
posted by thenovelist on Friday, August 1, 2008 at 02:28 PM
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