Wow, this is really deep for me. Its true though, how a parent can be the best to their kids, and yet the kid turns out rotten. Yet who are the first to blame for it? The parents... I know a few kids that are really sweet, hard working, and yet their parents are druggies. The choices we make, are influenced by others, and sometimes we forget all the things are parents or anyone have warned us about. Hopefully this boy at the window will become a great person, because he doesnt want to walk the same path his parents have... yet we can only hope.

That's really sad.  I know first hand how these kids can turn out, even if they are "saved" by the system.  My mom has foster kids and for the first 2 years I was in charge of them M-F 7 am until 8 pm, and then some on the weekends if my mom had to work.  You can't change these kids.  You want too ... but you can't.  I'm still trying to accept that.

See the system continues to fuck them up by letting them have weekly visitations with their parents.  Sometimes the parent won't show for ages, so the child feels abandoned again (even though you are providing a stable home, encouraging them to blossom, and giving them all your love).  So they rebel and act out on you, they blame you - the very person who is trying to give them a better life.  Finally after a month they begin to accept their situation again, they calm down, throw less fits, destroy less furniture, throw less dirt in your eyes.  Then the parent shows up, the child is elated, the parent is "god" in their eyes.  So once again you are the bad guy and they treat you like the warden.

Now don't get me wrong, sometimes these visitations are a wonderful thing!  But those are the kids that are less screwed up, and trust me, they can be screwed up at a very young adorable age.

I spent 2 years of my mid 20's raising 2-3 children at a time that weren't my own.  I took them everywhere, and trust me, that's not fun - trips to the store were hell.  If my friend saw me without them he'd ask me where my little bambino's were (each one has been Hispanic).  One has stayed with us this entire duration, she has grown, blossomed ... but still you see that side of her at times, when things just aren't going exactly how she wants them to go ... 

Anyways, it is my maternal instinct to want to help these children, hug these children, give these children my love ... you think that if you provide all that nurturing they'll change.  But most won't, they may become a little less ruff around the edges, but if they are placed after the age of 2 they have usually already picked up a bad nature.  We've even had babysitters refuse to ever watch them again.  It's so sad.

Still, I didn't give up - until I started having major anxiety attacks and nervous breakdowns.  Seriously, these kids try their hardest to get in your head and really mess with you.  They play head trips constantly.  I finally told my mom I couldn't take it anymore, I bought a house and moved out.  Now the torch has been passed to my brother's girlfriend who moved in with my mom after I moved out.  I saddens me a little that it's not me ... because she doesn't offer the warm nurturing mother feeling like I did.  Instead she's cold to them, but I guess that's the only way to not let them bother you - don't get attached.

I'm still involved in their lives one way or another.  I take my foster sister to special events that I take my daughter to, but I feel so much better being less involved now.

Usually I will refuse to take more than one at a time if my mom needs a sitter - I figure my sister can take the other one.  Tonight though, I've invited the 2 foster children that my mom has at the moment to my house to trick-or-treat with my daughter and I.  It's giving my brother and his girlfriend a night off.  

Okay, so that was a rambling tangent and I know I was trying to make a point in there somewhere.

Whooooo hooo... do I smell a Portervillian (or should I say, Poros?) in our midst? Awesome. Now I don't feel so alone!

And yes... that area next to the fairgrounds? WTF was up with that? I didn't know anything about it until they were forced to leave. My husband drove me by there to show me the mess they had left behind but he didn't have a lot of details on it either. Do you know the story behind that all?