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twinkie - > Kick Off Your Shoes And Stay A While -> The Stinky Purse makes a comeback.
The Stinky Purse makes a comeback.
Today is a great day! I am on a natural high that I usually get when I visit with my buddies, D and G. They are hifreakinlarious. Oh man. We had the staff at  Don Vinos Italian Restaurant in Porterville laughing so hard. I just know that the people at the bar wished they were at our table. Or maybe not. Maybe they thought we were freaks. But I’ll humor myself and pretend they were staring at us because they wanted to be us. And not because we are freaks. 
 
 
D and G are my childhood friends. We've been friends since the third grade. We hadn't seen each other for a while and decided to meet up last night at Don Vinos. We sit there and catch up on our daily drama… yadda yadda. Then we start talking about my bakotopia.com blogs and how much they’ve enjoyed reading them and which one is their favorite, etc etc.

 OH.. and they also have decided that need nicknames, because apparently D and G isn’t good enough. So from now on, D is Dorp, and G is Goocher.  

Goocher mentions that she loved the Stinky Purse story. So I decide to tell them about how when another friend read that story they emailed me and said, “hold your tongue and say this out loud I HAVE A STINKY PURSIE.” I laughed. Hard. And loud.
 
They don’t get it. So they decide to try it to see what’s so funny. They hold their tongue and they say……..
 
And then it happens.. they belt out a LOUD and I mean LOUD scream.. you know the type.. the scream that usually comes right before a really LOUD and really LONG laugh. Sure as fruck. We start laughing and laughing and wailing our arms from laughing so hard. 

The restaurant was packed last night. 
It usually is on Wednesday, free wine tasting night. 
So everybody is staring at us and kind of laughing with/at us. Then the waitress comes, Y__, really sweet girl. She asks us what is so funny that we are laughing so hard. So in between breaths Dorp says, “Tell her Twinkie, tell her”. So in between my own laughter I tell her about the stinky purse, and the email, “Hold your tongue and say this out loud I HAVE A STINKY PURSIE”
 
So now Y__ is laughing her ass off. And of course the people around us are wondering even more what is so funny. So this other waiter comes by and says, “you girls are so scandalous. What in the world are you laughing about?” SO I TELL HIM. Now he’s cracking the fruck up and we’re crying… from laughing so hard. Then the owner’s son, J___ comes by and says, “What is going here?” So I TELL HIM. And he starts laughing his ass off.
 
Thank God it was time to leave. My stomach hurt so bad from all that laughing. Oh man. I really needed my girl time. I love those girls!
 
Posted in these Groups:
Topics: stinky purse, dorp, twinkie, goocher, don vinos, italian restaurant, porterville, wine tasting
posted by twinkie on Thursday, November 2, 2006 at 01:59 PM
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21 comments from 12 users

1 2

posted by newman on Nov 2, 2006 at 12:32 PM
Dorp and Goocher??? whats' wrong with Dolce and Gabanna?! LOL
posted by anonymous on Nov 2, 2006 at 12:49 PM
LMAO!  I love it!  That's the funniest thing I've read in a long time.  And of course I had to hold my tongue and say it just for the heck of it.  haha
posted by anonymous on Nov 2, 2006 at 01:07 PM
That's hilarious! I'm going to show this to Darlene as soon as I get home.

Rich
posted by matt on Nov 2, 2006 at 01:18 PM
LOL!!! Norma..YOU, "D", and "G" ( in know who you're talking about,) are forever silly Myfa chatas...
posted by twinkie on Nov 2, 2006 at 01:26 PM
'Member,  Ay? We've always been like that, hu? hahah goofy, dorky, loud, obnoxious!  I wouldn't have it any other way!

Vatas Locas Forever y que! 


hahaha. I love spending time with my childhood buddies!  OH... and BTW.. your name came up. muahahhahahaha....
posted by ahisandwich on Nov 2, 2006 at 01:48 PM
I don't have a stinky pursie.  Never did.  Never will.  You guys are the stuff of local legend.  And I do mean local.  Great story!  You had me laughing my ass off too, and I wasn't even there!
posted by woofwoof on Nov 2, 2006 at 02:10 PM
your weird:) I cant wait to see you today,, its been what since what taylor street? YEARS!!!!
posted by thenovelist on Nov 2, 2006 at 02:52 PM
I wonder who that friend was.
posted by twinkie on Nov 2, 2006 at 03:01 PM
It was a very VERY funny friend whom we'll call ...... hmmmm... what should I call them for the sake of this story? 

I'll have to ask them what nickname they want me to use!
posted by thenovelist on Nov 2, 2006 at 03:41 PM
The creature. How about, THE CREATURE?
posted by twinkie on Nov 2, 2006 at 03:52 PM
hahahah 

I was thinking DUCKIE! I really liked the ducks.

but ok... The CREATURE it is.

My very VERY funny friend, The CREATURE emailed me and said, 

"Hold your tongue and say this out loud.... I have a stinky pursie"
posted by saynoevil on Nov 2, 2006 at 04:14 PM
I wanna hear the stinky purse story.
posted by twinkie on Nov 2, 2006 at 04:24 PM

Here it is:

The Funky Stank Curse


OMG, I stink. Seriously. What the hell. It's been the past few days, I just can't shake that smell. I shower, I put on deoderant. And yet, by lunchtime... ewwww stinky. I can't smell it when I'm just sitting around. But as soon as I get ready to go somewhere.. I start walking and there it is. The stank. 

I go to lunch and hope it's not soooooo bad that everybody around me can smell it. I mean, how embarrassing. What the hell is going on with me? I get to my lunch destination and AGAIN.... not so bad. But then I get up to go back to work and there it is.. the stank. This morning as I was heading to work, I smelled again. Dammit. What the hell? No way I smell already, right? I just took a damn shower.  What the hell is wrong with meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee? Eeeeeeeeeeeeeek!

 Maybe it's a punishment of some sort for something I've done in a past life, or something I'm going to do in the future? Why me, though? WHY? There has to be worse people than me. Why me? I never used to stink. Even in my more active days, I'd run five miles and I there was no stank following me around. Is it old age setting in? Should I just get used to the fact that the stank is gonna follow me now that  I'm nearing 35?

Ok, fine. I have decided to come to terms with it. Shit. And then I figure, well, if I'm going to have the stank curse the rest of my damn life I might as well look good. I need to reapply my Mary Kay Downtown Brown lipstick and powder my nose so I can at least look somewhat decent in all my stankness. Maybe I'll even start wearing old lady perfume, to mask the smell. It won't be so bad. I mean things could be worse, right?

So I reach into my brand new brown canvas purse I just bought from Avon and ..... it STINKS. It's not me, it's my beautiful new Avon purse that I bought with the matching shoes. It STINKS! HOORAY for my stinky brown canvas Avon purse. I love you.

posted by akolisahola on Nov 2, 2006 at 07:31 PM

You know, it must be a Myfa gal thing...cuz after I read your post...I held my tongue and can't believe I said it.  I had to see what the hell was so funny.  Of course, I started laughing as I could actually see Twinkie laughing her ass off.

My poor sick husband wakes up....congested and with crispies all through his eyes.  Looks like he can turn me to stone as it's obvious that he's frustrated by my laughing.  Poor thing, he's heavily medicated with cold medication.  He wanted to know what the hell I was laughing at...of course I told him and said..."must be a California thing..."  That's his excuse for everything he thinks is weird from my side of the world.

Dorp and Goocher?  What the f**ck!?!?  You could have come up w/ something more creative...come on Norm...I mean Twinkie.  Don't make me take the chankla out on you....in second thought, I may not want to do that..you might take it from me and RUN!  Luckily for me...I know exactly who the 3 of you are.

Thanks for the laugh....Y QUE!!  LOL

posted by lili3445 on Nov 2, 2006 at 08:30 PM
i sometimes worry that it runs in the family........oh wait i think i see the super cheese signal....go to fly... i mean run
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