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The Stinky Purse makes a comeback.
Today is a great day! I am on a natural high that I usually get when I visit with my buddies, D and G. They are hifreakinlarious. Oh man. We had the staff at Don Vinos Italian Restaurant in Porterville laughing so hard. I just know that the people at the bar wished they were at our table. Or maybe not. Maybe they thought we were freaks. But I’ll humor myself and pretend they were staring at us because they wanted to be us. And not because we are freaks.
D and G are my childhood friends. We've been friends since the third grade. We hadn't seen each other for a while and decided to meet up last night at Don Vinos. We sit there and catch up on our daily drama… yadda yadda. Then we start talking about my bakotopia.com blogs and how much they’ve enjoyed reading them and which one is their favorite, etc etc.
OH.. and they also have decided that need nicknames, because apparently D and G isn’t good enough. So from now on, D is Dorp, and G is Goocher. Goocher mentions that she loved the Stinky Purse story. So I decide to tell them about how when another friend read that story they emailed me and said, “hold your tongue and say this out loud I HAVE A STINKY PURSIE.” I laughed. Hard. And loud. They don’t get it. So they decide to try it to see what’s so funny. They hold their tongue and they say……..
And then it happens.. they belt out a LOUD and I mean LOUD scream.. you know the type.. the scream that usually comes right before a really LOUD and really LONG laugh. Sure as fruck. We start laughing and laughing and wailing our arms from laughing so hard.
The restaurant was packed last night. It usually is on Wednesday, free wine tasting night. So everybody is staring at us and kind of laughing with/at us. Then the waitress comes, Y__, really sweet girl. She asks us what is so funny that we are laughing so hard. So in between breaths Dorp says, “Tell her Twinkie, tell her”. So in between my own laughter I tell her about the stinky purse, and the email, “Hold your tongue and say this out loud I HAVE A STINKY PURSIE” So now Y__ is laughing her ass off. And of course the people around us are wondering even more what is so funny. So this other waiter comes by and says, “you girls are so scandalous. What in the world are you laughing about?” SO I TELL HIM. Now he’s cracking the fruck up and we’re crying… from laughing so hard. Then the owner’s son, J___ comes by and says, “What is going here?” So I TELL HIM. And he starts laughing his ass off.
Thank God it was time to leave. My stomach hurt so bad from all that laughing. Oh man. I really needed my girl time. I love those girls!
21 comments from 12 users
posted by
twinkie
on Nov 8, 2006 at 03:02 PM
Dogbutt? OMG.... hahahahha and ewwwwwwwwwww! tee hee. Actually it sounds too rich for me. I'm a Twinkie and Zinger kind of gal! :)
posted by
annieblack
on Nov 8, 2006 at 10:08 AM
I don't normally laugh at ANYTHING involving a "stinky pursie", but this is just too funny NOT to laugh at. And yes, I too, held my tongue and repeated the phrase, just for poops and snorkles.. Unfortunately, with my current chest congestion and not so feminine sounding voice, when I laughed out loud, I sounded like a drowning buffalo. I have a couple of really good friends that I hang out and do crazy things with. We've yet to venture into an Italian restaurant, but we frequently plague the staff of Mauricio's on Rosedale Highway while consuming what we call "dogbutt". It's really not as disgusting as it sounds...Strawberry filled churros topped with vanilla ice cream and drizzled with caramel sauce. If you bite the end of the churro off and turn it sideways, it looks like...well...a dog's butt... Okay, time to drink my hot tea and read more blogs. I so needed the laugh this morning. Great times, great writing!!! AB posted by
anonymous
on Nov 3, 2006 at 09:55 AM
Ha!
posted by
anonymous
on Nov 3, 2006 at 08:48 AM
Love reading all your stories Twinkie.
Buckeye Hugs, JoAnn posted by
twinkie
on Nov 2, 2006 at 11:02 PM
Lili.... I mean SUPER CHEESE GIRL... ummm it DOES run in the family. hahahaakolisahola... It must be a Cali thing. We Cali girls know how to have FUN! LOL And you want to know where "Dorp" "Goocher" And "Twinkie" came from? They were actually and TRULY our real life Cross Country nicknames! :-) Compliments of Herlinda Gonzalez crazy imagination! One day she decided we all needed nicknames and that's what we all got stuck with! posted by
Thesilenceclub
on Nov 2, 2006 at 11:01 PM
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! posted by
lili3445
on Nov 2, 2006 at 08:30 PM
i sometimes worry that it runs in the family........oh wait i think i see the super cheese signal....go to fly... i mean run
posted by
akolisahola
on Nov 2, 2006 at 07:31 PM
You know, it must be a Myfa gal thing...cuz after I read your post...I held my tongue and can't believe I said it. I had to see what the hell was so funny. Of course, I started laughing as I could actually see Twinkie laughing her ass off. My poor sick husband wakes up....congested and with crispies all through his eyes. Looks like he can turn me to stone as it's obvious that he's frustrated by my laughing. Poor thing, he's heavily medicated with cold medication. He wanted to know what the hell I was laughing at...of course I told him and said..."must be a California thing..." That's his excuse for everything he thinks is weird from my side of the world. Dorp and Goocher? What the f**ck!?!? You could have come up w/ something more creative...come on Norm...I mean Twinkie. Don't make me take the chankla out on you....in second thought, I may not want to do that..you might take it from me and RUN! Luckily for me...I know exactly who the 3 of you are. posted by
twinkie
on Nov 2, 2006 at 04:24 PM
Here it is: Maybe it's a punishment of some sort for something I've done in a past life, or something I'm going to do in the future? Why me, though? WHY? There has to be worse people than me. Why me? I never used to stink. Even in my more active days, I'd run five miles and I there was no stank following me around. Is it old age setting in? Should I just get used to the fact that the stank is gonna follow me now that I'm nearing 35? posted by
saynoevil
on Nov 2, 2006 at 04:14 PM
I wanna hear the stinky purse story.
posted by
twinkie
on Nov 2, 2006 at 03:52 PM
hahahah I was thinking DUCKIE! I really liked the ducks. but ok... The CREATURE it is. My very VERY funny friend, The CREATURE emailed me and said, "Hold your tongue and say this out loud.... I have a stinky pursie" posted by
thenovelist
on Nov 2, 2006 at 03:41 PM
The creature. How about, THE CREATURE?
posted by
twinkie
on Nov 2, 2006 at 03:01 PM
It was a very VERY funny friend whom we'll call ...... hmmmm... what should I call them for the sake of this story? I'll have to ask them what nickname they want me to use! posted by
thenovelist
on Nov 2, 2006 at 02:52 PM
I wonder who that friend was.
posted by
woofwoof
on Nov 2, 2006 at 02:10 PM
your weird:) I cant wait to see you today,, its been what since what taylor street? YEARS!!!!
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