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Diary of a Stalker PRIMAL INFUSION: Bellydance Festival and Workshops at the Nile Martin Luther King Day Butterfly Kisses SILENCE Burn The Witch He Who Casts The First Stone Let's Burn The Witch The Logic of a 9 Year Old Celebration Time! Come on! Want To Join Me? August 06 September 06 October 06 November 06 December 06 January 07 February 07 March 07 April 07 May 07 June 07 July 07 August 07 September 07 October 07 November 07 December 07 January 08 February 08 March 08 April 08 May 08 June 08 July 08 August 08 September 08 October 08 November 08 December 08 January 09 February 09 March 09 April 09 May 09 June 09 July 09 August 09 September 09 October 09 November 09 December 09 January 10 February 10
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Diets suck. I rarely get on one. Oh sure, I've tried one or two of those fad diets. But I have never lasted longer than ummm a DAY! I love food. I love veggies, fruits, dark leafy greens. I love juice. I love all the stuff that is good for me, so then WHY diet?
Actually, I think the hardest diet I've ever been on is when I was younger, and I used to weigh 88 pounds. Yeah, I know. Disgusting, right? So I used to try and try to eat really fattening foods so I can get to my ideal weight. I really didn't have a set weight in mind. I just figured for one thing, as long as I could stop buying my pants at Kids R Us.(not even a size 0 would fit me back then). And secondly, when I got comfortable with myself and my own body, I would know when to stop. "How hard could that diet have been? Quit your complaining", you're probably thinking.
Shut up! It was hell-ah hard. If you're a friend of mine, you already know I can't stand greasy, fattening foods, so it was tough trying to make myself eat. I hate fast food, don't care for sandwiches. What's a girl to do?
"Yeah,whatever... save it you skinny ho", you're probably thinking as you bite into your Whopper with cheese.
Time went by and of course I gained some weight. Ten pounds to be exact. Finally, I should be happy right? But I wasn't. Sure I was meatier now if I could only tone up. Then surely, I'd be happy. Later it was if I could just lose five pounds, then I'd be happy. It was time to cut back on my food intake. But just a little. Time to diet, right? Ugh.
When I got married I weighed 96 pounds. If I could only gain 10 more pounds, then I'd be happy. Well dammit to hell. When is this damn happiness going to come? I can only starve or force feed myself for so long.
Well, 47 pounds later.. I weigh about 135 and I finally realized a few years back that as long as I am HAPPY it doesn't matter what I weigh. And I also realized that dieting makes me miserable. Forget dieting. I hate it. I'd rather be happy and fat than skinny and miserable.
Moral of the story? I don't know. There is no moral. If you want to cut down on your intake, fine, but dont cut OUT anything you enjoy. Go eat a Big Mac. Just don't biggie size it. Maybe just eat half of it. I don't know? I can't guarantee that not eating all of it will make YOU happy. I also can't guarantee that you eating a low cal salad will make you happy. All I know is.. only YOU can make you happy. Just be happy for heaven's sake.
And don't base your happiness on your weight. Take it from someone who's been on both sides of the scale . Happiness does not come in a pill, or a protein diet, or a shake, or an "ideal weight". It starts with you. Work on your inner self. I have found that when you are happy inside it will affect your decision making. From cutting out food that is poison to your body, to cutting out the people in your life that are poison to your inner "self".
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