A blog about Personal Journals, Kern County, and Arts & Entertainment.
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My husband and the kids were at Dumont, camping this Wednesday. I had to work that day, and he wanted to leave that morning to get everything set up and ready. Plus that way the kids (my little ones, the teenagers stayed behind with me) could travel during the day, get there early, and start their vacation as early as possible. My sister The Raven, along with my bro in law and nephew were to drive up the next day. I was to mooch a ride off them. It worked out. Soooooooo since I had no kids or hubby to make dinner for that night, Goocher, Woofs, Suggaaa and The Raven and I made plans to hang out Wednesday night. We figure we'll have dinner at Fish Lips, then watch our favorite band perform. Yea, uhu... Mento Buru rocked the house. If you weren't there you missed out. The band before them was great as well! But I don't remember their name? A few Heffenweisens later I have to go to the little girls room. And that's when it happens. My cell phone rings, which I KNOW, I know... why would I take my cell phone to the rest room. Well, just in case my teens called and they need to be picked up from the police station, or they are stranded at a party they shouldn't have been at to begin with, or the house is on fire, or something else uber ridiculous like that. YEAH, I'm that paranoid. Nope, it's my honey, calling me from a cell phone I don't recognize. He says, "garble garble garble.... something something something" WHAT? "something else I can't hear or understand" WHAT? I can't hear youuuuuuuuu...... "WHERE ARE YOU AT? WHY IS IT SO LOUD?" busted.... ha. I'm at Fish Lips, I'm here with my sister, The Raven. He says joking something like "oh, is that what we're calling 'him' now?" HU? I can't hear youuuuuuuuuuuuuu.... "Well listen, I just called to say I love you and miss you and when you come up can you bring the bloody mary mix?" WHAT? I can't hear youuuuuuuuu "Are you drunk?" No, I just can't hear you it's loud in here. "THE BLOODY MARY MIX. CAN YOU PLEASE BRING THE BLOODY MARY MIX" oh, the bloody mary mix. Ok, yeah, I'll bring it. "Are you gonna forget? I know how forgetful you are." Nooooooooooooooo I'm not gonna forget! The bloody mary mix, yeah, I'll bring it. Ok? "Please don't forget. As a matter of fact, put your sister on the phone." She's not here with me. She's sitting at the table. "Ok, fine, but don't forget ok? THE BLOODY MARY MIX. Don't' forget the bloody mary mix." YES OK OK OK I know... the bloody mary mix. I gotta go. I love you! Bye. It's called Demitris and you have to order it online around here. Nobody sells it. So this bloody mary mix is like GOLD. I hang up, wash my hands, go back to the table. I tell The Raven and Goocher about the phone call. They say, "What did he want?" I say, "He wanted me to bring something tomorrow. Oh shit. I just forgot what he wanted. I think it was his toothbrush. I think he said 'don't forget to bring my toothbrush.' Damn... shit. I forgot what he wanted. Shit." I go home, pack his toothbrush, his pillow, some socks. We make the long drive to Dumont and the first words out of his mouth were, "did you bring the bloody mary mix?" Damn. I forgot the bloody mary mix.
We went to Don Vinos again for their free wine tasting. This time it was a little different than the last time I wrote about here:
go here for my last Don Vinos experience: www.bakotopia.com/home/Blog/twinkie/847
You see, last time, in the middle of all the goofiness and stinky purses, Dorp and I decided to put Goocher on the spot and set her up with J__. Just to be goofy. And to put her on the spot. We weren't really serious about it. I don't think? Well, maybe we were a little bit serious. But mostly we just wanted to be goofy. And we wanted to put her on the spot.
She was soooo pissed at us. hahaha Which is what we trying to do, piss her off. But him, well he was a good sport. Which I actually expected him to be, since he's such a great guy!
He came to check on us, and I’d commented something really dumb, laughing the whole time I was saying it. I don't remember exactly how it went. But it went something like this:
”Hey, J__ Dorp and I were thinking since YOU’RE single, and Goocher is single, you two should hook up.” Dorp says something, which I don't remember right now.
He says something too. Can't remember that either. Whatever...
Dorp and Goocher feel free to chime in here with the correct conversation because at this point, I know I’d sampled one too many wines off the list and my memory is fuzzy.
The important thing is he is such a good sport and just goes along with it. Goocher just sits there gritting her teeth and smiling politely at J__ while pinching me and Dorp and whispering empty threats about killing us if we don’t shut the hell up. Of course we don’t shut the hell up. We know she won't kill us. She loves us.
So we keep egging him on and finally he politely asks her for her phone number. She gives it to him VERY reluctantly. So he says, “look at her, you’re forcing her to give me her number. It’s probably not even her real number.”
She says, “It’s not fake” at least I think that’s what she said. I couldn’t really understand her because she was talking though her teeth.
J__ says, “ If I call it right now will I get a complete stranger on the other line?” He's laughing. See Goocher, he thought it was funny too.
Dorp and I can’t stop laughing. And I have to go pee so bad but don’t want to miss out on anything.
She says, “IT’S MY NUMBER. WHY WOULD I GIVE YOU A FAKE NUMBER?”
He calls her bluff and dials. Her phone rings. She looks annoyed/embarrassed? hard to say at this point and says, “See it’s meeeeeee” and hangs up. He walks away to help other customers. That’s that. End of story. I mean it’s not like he’s really gonna call, right? RIGHT? I mean…. Right?
Wrong. He called. They hit it off. They have been dating ever since.
So yes, we went to Don Vinos again. But this time Goocher got both our very needed "girl time" but she also got to visit with her man.
This weekend we went to the Porterville Veteran's Day Parade, and the Porterville Band-A-Rama immediately thereafter. It's a pretty busy day for us. In fact it's nonstop from the minute I drop my daughter off for the color guard breakfast at 6:00am.. to the parade at 10:00am and the Band-A-Rama at 2:00. I wouldn't have missed any of it for the world. It's a great way to honor our veterans. Tulare County has lots to honor. And it shows with the huge turnout at all of these events. The parade always moves me. I always cry when they raise the flag. And I always cry when they sing the National Anthem. Porterville takes it's Veteran's Day very serious. I remember a long time ago when I worked for a certain car dealership new to town... he stayed open on Veteran's day and our lot was egged. And people drove by all day shouting obscene things to us. I took a lot of pictures but I'm only going to post the ones that made think.. "HU?" 1. Cesar Chavez High School call me crazy but I'm pretty sure it's Cesar, and not CAESAR? LOL Then again, what did I expect? For them to be dressed in flannel shirts holding signs that say, "NO UVAS" (boycott grapes) ?
2. Tulare Tigers showing some brown pride? Chicano power at it's best right here: "Los Tules " Y-QUE ??
3. Dear Lord please let that thing not be loaded.
4. A Police Dog! Look at all those homeboys in the background sweatin' it. "Oh shit, ay... nobody told me there was gonna be cop dogs ay! I hope he doesn't sniff the "mota" (weed) in my jacket pocket or I'm screwed." I was even sweatin' it.. and homie don't even play that.
5. Honoring our very own Pentagon dude originally from Porterville. I didn't catch his name so I went to the Porterville Recorder on-line so I could get it and post it here, only to find that they didn't even mention him. grrrrrr Anyways, here he is: Our very own Portervillian at the Pentagon. Oh yeah!
6. My favorite part of the day. All the bands get together and play the National Anthem. This is the part where I tear up.
Baby Twinkie asked me this morning, "If daddy was a french fry would you still marry him?" Besides, I just said that to be nice. I don't even like french fries. I read this about twenty times if not MORE a day... I'm actually starting to believe it. Hahah. ok not really. But really. Geez. I send all this stuff to spam, but it still manages to creep into my INBOX. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaurgh. Check out Ana`trim, and you'll join the worldwide community of millions of happy customers who are getting thin+ner and happier right now. Les~s eating frenzy, les-s lbs and more fun in life My baby Twinkie and I were driving to go drop off my Teenage Twinkie with her friends at Round Table. I always listen to my music up front. Then they use the headphones in the back even if we're listening to the same song. I sent out a myspace bulletin for anyone that would like to join me at the Dia De Los Muertos celebration. Goocher, Suggaa, and Woofs responded. Great! It’s going to be so much fun. I ask my kids if they want to go and my teenagers say “sure” and my little ones say, “What is it?”
I explained to them more or less what it was in kids terms. I said, “It’s a Mexican Halloween party. There is going to be Mexican dances, food, and FUN” So they said, “Ok” yes, they wanted to go. I picked up my son’s girlfriend, my friend/coworker Esther, and we were off.
It was so packed! WOW! I immediately spot Sal and the Likhy2 gang so after I find Woofs, we head down their way. Then I spot Matildakay and some dead skeleton guy. Oh, wait, it’s N.L. Belardes, the Novelist. He sure doesn’t look anything like his bakotopia.com profile picture. Hehehe. Then again, apparently neither do I!
Go here for some really great pictures and a much BETTER description of the evening! N.L. Belardes has a magical way of capturing and describing everything! And his pictures are AWESOME! I sit my kids down way up in the front because in their own words they don’t want to miss any FUN and ask my teen son and his girlfriend to stay with them, then I start to walk around.
A few minutes later I see a guy that looks a lot like ahisandwich.
So I ask him, “Do I know you?”
He said, “I don’t think so”
I said, “Are you on bakotopia.com?”
He says, “Yes? Are you?”
I said, “YEEEEEEEEESSS Hi, I’m twinkie!” And I resist my temptation of hugging him as if he was a long lost buddy. I didn’t want to freak him out.
He has this confused? Look on his face and says, “But you look nothing like a Twinkie”
Sure I do, but ok. Anyways, I introduce him to Woofs, I order a beer we talk for a little bit then I move on. I wanted to make sure I talked to all my other bakotopian buddies, Tekwitz, Matt and Chanclas. I had spotted them accross the room. Plus I wanted to take lots of pictures. I went to check on the kids and asked them if they were ok. They said, yes then asked, "Mom, when is the FUN going to start?" I said, "isn't FUN right now?" They say no. I pretend I didn't hear them and walk towards the restroom.
While walking to the restroom I got to talk to some of the dancers. You could tell they were really proud of their performances, and they should be. They did a really exceptional job. I was impressed!
I felt bad for this one girl in particular who said her back was hurting her really bad because of the crouching they had to do during their performance. She been involved in a really bad car accident as a teen and her back has never been the same. I thought to myself, that takes a lot of dedication. Wow. I’m a big wuss. If I have a headache I don’t do anything… I stay in bed. Yet she survives a horrible car accident then keeps herself busy doing Baile Folklorico and God knows what else. Gosh, I’m such a wuss!
Anyways, so now the event is almost over and it’s time for Mento Buru’s performance. I go ask the kids what they think of the event so far and to make sure they are doing ok. My 7 year old says, “We’re ok. We’re just waiting for the FUN to start”
ummm ok. I think it's time to go home. Today is a great day! I am on a natural high that I usually get when I visit with my buddies, D and G. They are hifreakinlarious. Oh man. We had the staff at Don Vinos Italian Restaurant in Porterville laughing so hard. I just know that the people at the bar wished they were at our table. Or maybe not. Maybe they thought we were freaks. But I’ll humor myself and pretend they were staring at us because they wanted to be us. And not because we are freaks.
D and G are my childhood friends. We've been friends since the third grade. We hadn't seen each other for a while and decided to meet up last night at Don Vinos. We sit there and catch up on our daily drama… yadda yadda. Then we start talking about my bakotopia.com blogs and how much they’ve enjoyed reading them and which one is their favorite, etc etc.
OH.. and they also have decided that need nicknames, because apparently D and G isn’t good enough. So from now on, D is Dorp, and G is Goocher. Goocher mentions that she loved the Stinky Purse story. So I decide to tell them about how when another friend read that story they emailed me and said, “hold your tongue and say this out loud I HAVE A STINKY PURSIE.” I laughed. Hard. And loud. They don’t get it. So they decide to try it to see what’s so funny. They hold their tongue and they say……..
And then it happens.. they belt out a LOUD and I mean LOUD scream.. you know the type.. the scream that usually comes right before a really LOUD and really LONG laugh. Sure as fruck. We start laughing and laughing and wailing our arms from laughing so hard.
The restaurant was packed last night. It usually is on Wednesday, free wine tasting night. So everybody is staring at us and kind of laughing with/at us. Then the waitress comes, Y__, really sweet girl. She asks us what is so funny that we are laughing so hard. So in between breaths Dorp says, “Tell her Twinkie, tell her”. So in between my own laughter I tell her about the stinky purse, and the email, “Hold your tongue and say this out loud I HAVE A STINKY PURSIE” So now Y__ is laughing her ass off. And of course the people around us are wondering even more what is so funny. So this other waiter comes by and says, “you girls are so scandalous. What in the world are you laughing about?” SO I TELL HIM. Now he’s cracking the fruck up and we’re crying… from laughing so hard. Then the owner’s son, J___ comes by and says, “What is going here?” So I TELL HIM. And he starts laughing his ass off.
Thank God it was time to leave. My stomach hurt so bad from all that laughing. Oh man. I really needed my girl time. I love those girls!
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Local time is currently Sat Oct 11, 2008 9:07:27 am PDT
Bakotopia is 100% local to Bakersfield, CA, USA
