A blog about Personal Journals.
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The "good 'ol boys" club strikes again? Burning of Witches? Say it isn't so? McCains pick for Vice President Sunday Breakfast With The Girls Mother of the Year Viagra Users BEWARE!! Something Stinks In China Will Work For Beer! Things That Make Mommy Go "Hmmmmm???" Random Things That Made My Day! August 06 September 06 October 06 November 06 December 06 January 07 February 07 March 07 April 07 May 07 June 07 July 07 August 07 September 07 October 07 November 07 December 07 January 08 February 08 March 08 April 08 May 08 June 08 July 08 August 08 September 08 
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What the hell? Why is the Vagina Monolouges only playing TWO DAYS???????? AUCK. It's not enough time. TWO DAYS? Seriously??? Has it always been like this? If so, why didn't I realize it before? I mean hell... I've been to V-Day before. click HERE for pictures and recap Ok ok it's OK Norma, relax... take a deep breath... HEY YOU relax too, fellow bakotopians. I mean, it's not like you didn't know it was coming. You've read the flyers, the myspace bulletins, the bakotopia.com articles on the events list. It's ok! Let's figure this out together. I can't go Friday because I'll be in Clovis for my daughter's colorguard competition. Sooooo that leaves Saturday, March 1st. OK SO WHO'S WITH ME? Who wants to join me in a Twinkielicious field trip and go support our very own bakotopian vaginas Tashkajonesand Julie Jordan Scott?? I will make up some goodie bags just like the last field trip I organized so R.S.V.P HERE ASAP. With it being just a few days away I don't have much time to organize it all. So HURRY. Even if you don't R.S.V.P. and join the Twinkilicious fun, PLEASE go watch The Vagina Monologues. It's for a GREAT cause! WHAT CAUSE might that be? Well, I'm glad you asked!!! "V-Day is a global movement to stop violence against women and girls. Special performances of The Vagina Monologues are used to help raise money to benefit female victims of violence and sexual abuse." Did you know that The Empty Space has "participated in the Worldwide Campaign for the past four years and raised over $14,000.00 for our own local organization, The Alliance Against Family Violence and Sexual Assault???? "
It will start at 8:00 at: As if you needed another reason to join and support the cause other than just the fact that it's a rockin' show, right? But here's another one... You will learn a LOT. I learned more about my vagina at last years V-Day than I did in my high school sex education class. Then again, there wasn't much I could have learned from that class considering my mom didn't sign the consent form (since I never gave it to her) so I was stuck in the library with my best friends Dorp and Goocher. OOPS... I probably shouldn't have admitted that out loud, right? Of course it's NOT a sex ed class. But you knew that already. It's witty, it's smart, it's poi... uh.. i mean... uh poign... poignant???? Wait is that a real word or did I just make it up? ANYWAYS...... It is many-ah-things but one thing it's NOT is pornography. Unlike what some people in Tehachapi believed it to be last year. OK so now for the important question!!! Who wants to see The Vagina Monologues with me?
But enough about that!
The Empty Space Theatre 706 Oak Street In Bakersfield behind Pizzaville, between Brundage Lane and California Ave (down the street from the Chalet Basque.) We can meet at the Chalet Basque bar first around 6:30-ish for a drinkie-pooh then drive down to the Empty Space Theatre for the show. I can't wait to see you there!
Well, for at least three hours anyways. hahahh We all know how he HATES Starbucks ever since he got StarFUCKED. They are CLOSING!!!! Well, I mean... just temporarily. LOL Just long enough to give their so-called "baristas" some proper good ol' fashioned training. They no longer will just "press a button" they will be taught Barista Basics 101 so they can soon give us the Starbucks coffee we originally fell in love with.
I have to admit that I'm partial to Sofia Quintero. I am a HUGE fan. HUGE. BIG! Almost to the point of obsession. A healthy obsession of course. I mean, stalkers can be healthy right? In fact, we have to stay healthy so as to be able to run and chase our subjects down on a moments notice! (KIDDING) So I'm really excited to announce that her book Divas Don't Yield as the MAS BOOK CLUB book of the month for March. (click here to BUY YOUR BOOK TODAY!) Ever since I read Divas Don't Yield over a year ago I've been obsessed with this chick. You would be too if you did your stalking... oops I mean research like me. First of all, she wrote Divas Don't Yield, a book about four best friends who come from different backgrounds and have a whole different set of values and beliefs who go on a road trip. It's not until they are stuck together for a long period of time that they realize just how different they really are. They start to question not only themselves but also the strength of their friendship. I think we can all relate to these characters in one way or another. If not because of your own beliefs/background/customs, then just the friendship factor alone will win you over. In fact, these chicas' road trip reminds me a LOT of any road trip I've ever taken with my girlfriends, Dorp and Goocher *(not their real names.)* Basically our road trips have consisted of a lot of opening up.A lot of disagreeing with each other's opinions. A lot of talking over each other. A lot of teaming up and picking on one another. A lot of arguing. A lot of laughing. A lot of LOVE. That book alone should send you packing and to the nearest sporting good store for stalking supplies such as binocu... oops I mean.. uh.... I digress. An interesting tidbit about Divas Don't Yield is that it was originally written as a screen play called Interstates. Yes, not only is Sofia an awesomely funny, wityy, smart author, she's also a screenwriter. She cofounded Chica Luna Productions and co-owns Sister Outsider Entertainment. which is developing film, theater, television and book projects. She's co-written a few other books that could be considered "erotica" or maybe just really sexy chica lit. These books include (which I own them all.) click here to browse or buy: Friday Night Chicas
click here to browse or buy: Names I Call My Sister
click here to browse of buy: Juicy Mangos The funny thing is, when I think of Chica Lit, or Erotica I'd normally think of sharing these titles with my girlfriend. But today I took my books to work and the guys practically ripped them out of my arms for their chance to read! Hmmmm... should we be worried, ladies? tee hee. Not to worry, however! Not all her books as "erotica" and in fact, Divas Don't Yield is far from being erotic. It's more of "chica literature" or "chica lit" as it's more commonly called. You know, kind of like a "chick flick" but this is in book form. "Literature" get it? OK GOOD! She's also written a few other books which I don't own but hope to soon! These books were written under her pen name, Black Artemis. They are hip-hop fiction and should attract men and women alike, especially those who love hip hop
(click here to BUY YOUR BOOK TODAY!)
Hey all! Bear with me while I revisit the past in my MAS Magazine blog. Here's a repost of my old bakotopia.com blog from last years girls trip/time. You know, where Dorp and Goocher pissed me the hell off by wasting our "Girl time" freaken shopping their damned asses off the whole time? Yeah, THAT time. anyways, this year it's Sushi. Can't go wrong with Sushi, right? In the meantime CLICK HERE for last years fun. First of all, I never thanked you guys for voting me Bakersfield's BEST Blogger. OK, ok not "THE" best ... but ONE OF.. *Watch my tiny face on YOUTUBE.COM as N.L. talks about how he's also (the OTHER) BEST blogger. You can see my tiny face if you freeze the frame at 1:14. I know N.L. is busy and just forgot to mention the OTHER winner.. tee hee. At least my little face made it on t.v. AND youtube! though right? ha. click here for my youtube debut!!!! Hey I don't mean to toot my own horn but that's an awesome title to win especially alongside LORDS PART ONE author and ABC 23 very own's Nick Belardes who has been blogging WAY LONGER than I have and quite frankly was my "blogging" mentor. So YAY ME!!!!! "You like me! You REALLY like me!"
But another thing I was proud of in 2007 is the MAS article about my new book club, The MAS BOOK CLUB. Read that article by clicking HERE! Ok anyways, I'm done bragging. Carry on with your regularly scheduled lives. Thanks for reading! OH By the way, the next MAS BOOK CLUB book of the month is going to be Divas Don't Yield by Sofia Quintero. So buy your books NOW and participate in the March discussion!
February 18, 2008 Still reading Caramba! by Nina Marie Martinez Hey all, in case you're trying to access the MAST BOOK CLUB or my blog or just the MAS site in general... they are doing some upgrades. Click HERE for details.
These pictures were taken last Sunday at my son Annequin's birthday. My sister THE RAVEN kicked my ass, in case you were wondering.
Welcome to the second MAS BOOK CLUB discussion. This month we will be discussing Caramba! A Tale Told In The Turn Of The Cards by Nina Marie Martinez. Because February is a short month, and according to some emails I've gotten, not everybody is caught up on their reading, I've decided to extend the CARAMBA discussion until March 1st! Thanks for understanding! What does that mean for those of you who haven't had a chance to buy or read the book yet? It means you still have time to participate in the MAS BOOK CLUB discussion! BUY YOUR BOOK TODAY! You can order it online at randomhouse.inc! CLICK HERE TO BUY IT ONLINE AT RANDOMHOUSE.COM Or buy it locally at Russos at the Marketplace. You can call them first to make sure they have the book in stock OR call ahead and preorder it! Russo's Marketplace Books and order one today! While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. "Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you." "No problem, just let me in," says the man. "Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity." "Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the senator. "I'm sorry, but we have our rules." And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him. Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises... The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him. "Now it's time to visit heaven." So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns. "Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity." The senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell." So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above. The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. I don't understand," stammers the senator. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?" The devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning..... I'm either the luckiest girl in the world. OR the unluckiest when it comes to car trouble! Seriously! I was going to pull into a busy gas station one day when POP! I got a flat tire! My little car barely made it in and I pulled next to this nice Lincoln luxury car. It was driven by this handsome, very well dressed Hispanic man and sitting in the car with him was a classy older Hispanic lady. She was talking on her cell phone and you could tell she didn't want to be bothered. I looked up at him with my pleading eyes and I didn't even have to ask him. He took his coat off, rolled up his sleeves and changed my tire for me. It turns out he was a politician of some sort. The lady got off her cell phone long enough to say, "Don't forget to tell people SO-AND-SO changed your tire. And remember him when you go VOTE!" *I forgot his name, sorry. Similarly a different time I was driving through Los Banos to get to Pleasenton for some training. I was going with the flow of traffic when it happened. My check engine light came on, and my car started jerking hard. Putt PUTT... my poor little car went. So I quickly merged into the slow lane. I looked into the rear view mirror to make sure it was clear to go when I saw him. A red car was pulling over too. "NO WAY! How crazy would it be if that car was breaking down at the same exact time as me? SOoooooo weird!" I thought to myself. It turns out the dude saw my car putt-putting so when he saw that I was pulling over, he felt compelled to pull over too and make sure everything was ok. He let me use his cell phone and we called a tow truck. He then waited with me until the tow truck got there and made sure I was ok. Another time I was driving on HWY 65 when my car died (again). A guy in a white work car (It said laboratory something-or-other) pulled over and said, "Are you out of gas?" I replied, "I don't know? I think I might be." Lo-and-behold the guy had a GAS CAN in the trunk of his car. He put some in my car. The car started and I was on my way. It turns out he drove a lot for his work. Sometimes there wouldn't be any gas stations for miles. So he'd keep a five gallon tank in his trunk. Yeah, I KNOW! How random is that? Lucky me, right? The other night I was FINALLY able to repay the favor. My friends and I were hanging out when my friend decided it was time to go. She got up and said it she was heading home. I stayed a few minutes longer before I headed out myself. I wasn't even five minutes out when she called. "Twinkie! I just got a flat tire! I don't know what to do!" my friend said. "I'll be right there!" I replied after getting directions to where she was at. I immediately called the Roadside Assistance phone number and they dispatched a tow truck out. I sat there and waited for her to make sure she was OK. We joked about how we hoped a cute SINGLE Highway Patrol would stop to make sure we were OK (well to make sure SHE was OK) then we joked about how she would have to "repay" him for his kindness. ha. he. hee. ho. Anyways, I was glad I was there and it actually provided us with more time to talk. It also was nice to feel like I somehow repaid everyone else's kindness when I was in need of it. Nowadays it's scary to pull over to help someone that's broken down though. Would YOU stop to help? Does it make a difference if it's a guy in need or a girl? Why?
"You know what you should make this year, honey? CRAB LEGS and STEAK," I told my husband the other day. Of course I didn't need to explain myself any further. He knew exactly what I was talking about. Every year for Valentines Day Mr. Twinkie goes all out and makes a romantic candlelit Valentine's dinner. For six. Yes! You read right! For SIX. Mrs. Twinkie, Mr. Twinkie and their four little Twinkies. You see for us, Valentines Day is a special family day. Mr. Twinkie and I have been married for over 9 years. I love that man more than I could ever express. So for Valentines instead of buying each other stuff we splurge on a nice dinner at home. Oh sure, I could go out and buy him a power tool. Or some sort of sports memorabilia to "show him" how much I love him. Yeah, he could buy me flowers or expensive jewelry that we can't really afford and stick ourselves with yet another monthly payment. But why? When we first got married every year he'd ask, "What do you want for Valentines Day?" And every year I've replied, "I want you to make us a nice dinner. Something we wouldn't normally cook at home. Something we typically can't AFFORD. It will be our own little splurge!" He'd say, "Well wouldn't you rather go OUT to eat?" To which I'd respond, "WHY? To sit there and wait for a table for over and hour? Then another hour before we even got our food? NO THANK YOU!" I mean, don't get me wrong. I like eating out. But when you're a working mom and then you come home and make dinner for your four kids and your husband going out to eat on one of the BUSIEST DAYS of the year does NOT sound like a great Valentine's evening. I'd be tired from working all day, starving, then I'd STILL have to wait just to get a table? OH NO! Nuh-uh! I don't think so. And so, that's how our tradition started. Every year he'll make a nice dinner. He'll stop at the supermarket and buy a flower arrangement. He'll get a vase out and put the flowers in it. Then he'll put the flowers on the table. He'll open a nice bottle of wine and set the table. He'll even light some candles around the house. Then when dinner is ready we sit as a family and have an awesome, out of the ordinary (for us) delicious Valentines dinner. For six. "Why don't you guys ever go out to eat, mom? Just you two?" Teen Twinkie asked this year. *GASP!!! Mr. Twinkie and I looked at each other in disbelief! I mean, what kind of crazy question is that? "Because Valentines Day is a day of LOVE! And we love you all. So why not spend a nice loving holiday together? Splurging in a nice expensive dinner for us and you kids?" I responded. "OH! OK!" Teen Twinkie shook her head. Crazy mom. But who is she to turn down CRAB LEGS for dinner right? Oh wait, she's vegetarian this year. I guess we'd better make some good veggies for the side dish. As you currently all know, I'm the moderator for the MAS BOOK CLUB. In the book we're currently reading Caramba, by Nina Marie Martinez, Lulabelle decides she's tired of living a crazy life, having sex with all these men using their hot smokin' bodies and sending their butts home after. But she knows she doesn't have it in her to fall in love.
So she decides she's going to make a love potion/spell and cast it on herself. She picks the man that she thinks would make a great partner. One that is already in love with her, but she can't get herself to fall in love with. She figures the spell will do the trick.
Then participate to win some cool prizes! There have been only TWO times that a surprise has ever been left on my desk at work:
But only on ONE side. She’d eaten the other side. Two things I'd LOVE to be surprised with one day: 1. Chocolate (turtles preferably from my favorite local chocolatier) 2. Wads of cash. What kind of stuff would make a cool surprise for you?
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Local time is currently Fri Sep 5, 2008 5:30:28 am PDT
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