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Something Stinks In China Will Work For Beer! Things That Make Mommy Go "Hmmmmm???" Random Things That Made My Day! no cell phones were hurt in the making of this blog post Rainbow Brite Lady of the Night "Answer a Question No One Has Thought To Ask You" Robert Fulgum Secrets Lurking At Every Corner In God We Trust? A Singing Wal Mart Greeter? August 06 September 06 October 06 November 06 December 06 January 07 February 07 March 07 April 07 May 07 June 07 July 07 August 07 September 07 October 07 November 07 December 07 January 08 February 08 March 08 April 08 May 08 June 08 July 08 August 08
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Do you have that ONE person at work that makes your day every day. Sometimes? Once in a while? You know the one. The cheerful one that always has positive things to say at just the right time? Or if you're in a shitty mood he'll say something that makes you smile whether it's something funny, or just something so dumb and random you just have to laugh.. or at LEAST crack a smile. Anyways, I got one. And he's moving to Oregon to live closer to his dad. He's worked at our job place for 23 years. Yeah, 23 YEARS. (although don't quote me on that, but I'm pretty sure that's how long he's been there) I've only been there for 8. Anyways, he loves old country like me and has his radio tuned in to the country station all day. And he sings. EVERY.SONG. You'd think it'd be annoying but he really has a great voice and I love to listen to him. Anyways, it finally hit me today that he's leaving and so I yelled across the shop, "(INSERT NAME HERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRE) OMG Who's gonna sing to me when you're gone? I'm so sad!" He said, "I prolly annoy you hu? I feel sorry for my new employers. They have nooooo idea. I'm prolly gonna bug the hell out them! hahahahah" Another co-worker said, "He's always singing, hu? Hey you'd know what would be funny? If he got a job at Wal Mart as a greeter and he greeted everyone with a song. How cool would that be? Then we'd turn on the news some day and they'd be doing a story on the Singing Wal Mart Greeter." That's actually NOT a bad idea! But I wonder if he'd get paid extra? We just got back from a blissfully uneventful trip camping at the Pismo Dunes and I learned three things I just felt compelled to share with you. 1. If your newborn is constipated, grab a Q-tip (cotton swab), dip one of the ends in Vaseline (or A & D Ointment.) Grab the baby's feet and holding them together, pull them back towards the baby's shoulders. Stick the end of the Q-tip gently into the baby's butt. Yes, I know. Poor baby. Keep it in there, while still holding the baby's legs. Wait about ....ooooooh. I don't know.. 30 to 60 seconds and you'll get a nice surprise. AMAZING!!!! 2. Don't worry if other parents think you're being too paranoid about the boys rough housing. If you're not comfortable with it, put a stop to it. Nobody is right or wrong. It's all about YOUR own comfort level. Period. 3. When it's dark and you're too scared to walk to the port-a-potty make sure the spot behind the truck you picked to pee behind is actually behind a TIRE especially if the truck is LIFTED. Otherwise, peeing behind the truck is senseless, since everyone can still see you in the gap UNDER the truck. More on all this later. For now.... hope you learned something new! Take care everybody! Dee: "I was cracking up at how you covered mine and Mr. Dee's face up with that heart on your blog! hahahaha" Goocher: "Why did you do that?" Me: "Hellooooooo! I didn't want to be responsible for blowing their Witness Protection Program!" Dee: "Yeah, Gooch! ..hahahah" She's still laughing at the inside joke about the protection program... ME: "Besides, everyone knows you already from my blogs. But I didn't have permission from Dee to post her picture." Goocher: "Hey you know my friend F... he reads your blogs. He thinks you're funny. But do you guys know what he told me? He said 'Do you know what a GOOCHER is? It's bad luck. Like a jinx.' YOU GUYS.. I'm a jinx!" ME and Dee: (joking) Well you ARE kinda a jinx. hahahaha Goocher: "I told him that I wasn't. That it was just my nickname from when we ran cross country. But he said I was named after a JINX!" Well, I got curious and googled "Goocher" And I have come to the conclusion that GOOCHER is just a made up name that can mean anything you want it to mean from a jinx, to good luck, to a wedgie in your you-know-what (and no, I don't mean your butt) to somebody you think is totally HOTTTTTT. I think I'm gonna choose that last definition. Goocher.. you are such a GOOCHER!!! I mean, just look at this girl and tell me if you think she's a jinx! No, right? (she's the one on the right.. the one on the left is Sugaaaa .. and the one in the middle obviously is me. you can tell by my cheesy smile.) How 'bout a wedgie? Hellzzzz nah! How 'bout good luck? I WISH.. but.. no, not really. At least not for me. Although I do feel very lucky to be her friend.
The following is an actual text conversation with my friends. Here is a little background information: My two childhood friends Dee and Goocher went to the beach together this weekend. they invited me but I already had my own plans this weekend, which started off with Thursday's American Idol concert. Meanwhile, my daughter, The Princess (new knickname for her instead of Teen Twinkie) asked if she could go to the beach for the day with a friend. I'm sittin' around my kitchen hanging out with my sister having a few cocktails when I get this text: The Princess: D's sending you a picture to rub it in your face that they're at the beach and not you. LOL (Dee's face was covered to protect her identity. I don't want to blow her cover since she's in the Witness Protection Program) kidding.... Or ammmmm I? hmmmmm
"Just spending da day at d beah w/ ur girl! whooo hooo!" ME sent to The Princess: "Tell her I said she's a witch!" The Princess:"LOL I already left them." ME sent to Dee and Goocher: Bitches! Them: "Don't hate. Participate." LATER THAT EVENING....
My sister The Raven and her hubby were over and we were having drinks of our own so Mr. Raven laughs and says, HERE take of picture of our bottles and text it back to them. So I did... with the text: "Sorry you skinny bitches have to drink that ULTRA crap." Them: "hahahahahhaaha" But THEN... they send me a picture of the clam chowder bowl they are enjoying at my FAVORITE place in Pismo. Which is when I said, "CLAM CHOWDER? Now you've crossed the line!! I am sooooooo gonna blog about this!" Them: "whooo hoooo we'll be bakofamous!" Damn, I love those girls! They crack me the hell up!!!
We took the boys to the American Idol concert at the Save Mart Center this Thursday, July 3rd. Here's a brief summary of the night! For starters... Can I just say that by the quality of their voices and stage performance they were voted off at the time they should have? It's crazy. I didn't agree with some voting while the show was on, but honestly... with the exception of Carly, whom I think ROCKED the night...and Michael John who got the most standing ovations,everyone else was right where they belonged! you can read the rest of my recap by clicking HERE. It will take you to my Mas blog. Then you can leave a comment here or there. Whichever.
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