http://www.bakotopia.com/home/Blog/Kindra79/20430 Ask me if I&rsquo;m single and I will give you this reply; &ldquo;Perpetually&rdquo; &hellip; it&rsquo;s my way of making light of a slightly resented situation.&nbsp;Plain and simple &ndash; I have really bad luck in the dating department. &nbsp; It&rsquo;s not that I&rsquo;m not asked on dates, or that men don&rsquo;t seem attracted to me, because I am, and they do.&nbsp;What it is about is the being blown off, being stood up, or being pursued by slightly creepy older men who listen to Kenny G and give me that &ldquo;come hither&rdquo; look as they nurse their Corona while I&rsquo;m politely trying to finish up their loan signing.&nbsp;Or even worse take me to their ex-sister-in-laws wedding and introduce me to their pre-teen girls who then loudly hiss to their dad, &ldquo;Is she one of those internet girls?&rdquo; &nbsp; A while back in a period of about 3 months I was told by several different men that I am &ldquo;scary&rdquo;.&nbsp;One big burly guy said he&rsquo;d be afraid to ask me out on a date.&nbsp;Another muscle laden guy said he&rsquo;d had a crush on me since high school, but I intimidate him, and still do.&nbsp;What?&nbsp;Me?&nbsp;Little ol&rsquo; me?&nbsp;I&rsquo;m not going to kick you in the balls or eat you! So I came to the conclusion that someone must have tattooed &ldquo;Back Off&rdquo; across my forehead in an ink only visible to men. &nbsp; This led me to my quest, asking close male friends what my issue might be.&nbsp;One gave me a wretched answer &hellip; he told me I&rsquo;m not girly enough.&nbsp;That I always take charge and have to do things myself.&nbsp;He even insinuated that maybe I should have been a guy with the amount of testosterone that must run through my veins.&nbsp;I retorted that of course I have to take charge, I&rsquo;m a single mom and if I didn&rsquo;t do things myself nothing would get done!&nbsp;Then I shoved my wrist in his face and told him to take a good whiff &ndash; hello, I was wearing girly perfume!&nbsp;And &hellip; and &hellip; I had a full face of make up on! Oh, and I call him up and ask him to come over and take my trash out for me, cause it&rsquo;s icky!&nbsp;Isn&rsquo;t that girly enough?! &nbsp; Recently I went down to Santa Monica for some sunshine and a visit to an old friend of mine.&nbsp;Catching up he asked if I&rsquo;d found anyone worth dating, and if I thought I&rsquo;d ever find anyone worth dating in this town.&nbsp;I told him that I don&rsquo;t shoot the idea down, but I&rsquo;ve given up trying because trying just leads to frustration.&nbsp;I&rsquo;m going to sit back and let the guys contact me.&nbsp;I put out an olive branch, but that&rsquo;s it &ndash; I&rsquo;m not going to chase them down anymore.&nbsp;I&rsquo;m a bit old fashioned and think the man should call the girl anyway.&nbsp;Once they&rsquo;ve called me a couple times I&rsquo;ll reciprocate.&nbsp;In the beginning I&rsquo;m afraid to call because I don&rsquo;t think they&rsquo;re into me, especially if the one time they do actually call and come over I tell them how nice it was for them to call and that we should hang out again sometime.&nbsp;That is my way of saying &ldquo;Call me again, I really enjoyed your company, I&rsquo;m interested in getting to know you better&rdquo;.&nbsp;Generally what happens is they seem interested, but not actively interested.&nbsp;It becomes a merry-go-round of, &ldquo;Hey!&nbsp;How are you?&rdquo;&nbsp;&ldquo;We should hang out soon!&rdquo;&nbsp;Then I don&rsquo;t hear from them or see them for another month or two. &nbsp; The conversation continued as I asked him what I might be doing wrong.&nbsp;Why am I &ldquo;scary&rdquo;?&nbsp;As we drove west on the 10 he glanced over at me then turned forward again and began, &ldquo;Kindra, I don&rsquo;t think there is anything wrong with you, and I don&rsquo;t think you are doing anything wrong.&nbsp;You are doing your job of raising your wonderful daughter.&nbsp;You have your businesses, and your day job &ndash; you also own your own home.&nbsp;Maybe those things intimidate them &hellip; but to the right guy, none of those things will matter.&rdquo; &nbsp; His words were like a big warm fuzzy blanket just out of the dryer. &nbsp; &ldquo;In my opinion, the best thing you can do is to find a person who loves you for exactly what you are.&nbsp;Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person will still think that the sun shines out your ass.&nbsp; &nbsp; That&rsquo;s the kind of person that&rsquo;s worth sticking with.&rdquo; &nbsp; -Mac MacGuff &ldquo;Juno&rdquo; Also featured in Bakotopia magazine, issue 21, 2-7-08 Ask me if I&rsquo;m single and I will give you this reply; &ldquo;Perpetually&rdquo; &hellip; it&rsquo;s my way of making light of a slightly resented situation.&nbsp;Plain and simple &ndash; I have really bad luck in the dating department. &nbsp; It&rsquo;s not that I&rsquo;m not asked on dates, or that men don&rsquo;t seem attracted to me, because I am, and they do.&nbsp;What it is about is the being blown off, being stood up, or being pursued by slightly creepy older men who listen to Kenny G and give me that &ldquo;come hither&rdquo; look as they nurse their Corona while I&rsquo;m politely trying to finish up their loan signing.&nbsp;Or even worse take me to their ex-sister-in-laws wedding and introduce me to their pre-teen girls who then loudly hiss to their dad, &ldquo;Is she one of those internet girls?&rdquo; &nbsp; A while back in a period of about 3 months I was told by several different men that I am &ldquo;scary&rdquo;.&nbsp;One big burly guy said he&rsquo;d be afraid to ask me out on a date.&nbsp;Another muscle laden guy said he&rsquo;d had a crush on me since high school, but I intimidate him, and still do.&nbsp;What?&nbsp;Me?&nbsp;Little ol&rsquo; me?&nbsp;I&rsquo;m not going to kick you in the balls or eat you! So I came to the conclusion that someone must have tattooed &ldquo;Back Off&rdquo; across my forehead in an ink only visible to men. &nbsp; This led me to my quest, asking close male friends what my issue might be.&nbsp;One gave me a wretched answer &hellip; he told me I&rsquo;m not girly enough.&nbsp;That I always take charge and have to do things myself.&nbsp;He even insinuated that maybe I should have been a guy with the amount of testosterone that must run through my veins.&nbsp;I retorted that of course I have to take charge, I&rsquo;m a single mom and if I didn&rsquo;t do things myself nothing would get done!&nbsp;Then I shoved my wrist in his face and told him to take a good whiff &ndash; hello, I was wearing girly perfume!&nbsp;And &hellip; and &hellip; I had a full face of make up on! Oh, and I call him up and ask him to come over and take my trash out for me, cause it&rsquo;s icky!&nbsp;Isn&rsquo;t that girly enough?! &nbsp; Recently I went down to Santa Monica for some sunshine and a visit to an old friend of mine.&nbsp;Catching up he asked if I&rsquo;d found anyone worth dating, and if I thought I&rsquo;d ever find anyone worth dating in this town.&nbsp;I told him that I don&rsquo;t shoot the idea down, but I&rsquo;ve given up trying because trying just leads to frustration.&nbsp;I&rsquo;m going to sit back and let the guys contact me.&nbsp;I put out an olive branch, but that&rsquo;s it &ndash; I&rsquo;m not going to chase them down anymore.&nbsp;I&rsquo;m a bit old fashioned and think the man should call the girl anyway.&nbsp;Once they&rsquo;ve called me a couple times I&rsquo;ll reciprocate.&nbsp;In the beginning I&rsquo;m afraid to call because I don&rsquo;t think they&rsquo;re into me, especially if the one time they do actually call and come over I tell them how nice it was for them to call and that we should hang out again sometime.&nbsp;That is my way of saying &ldquo;Call me again, I really enjoyed your company, I&rsquo;m interested in getting to know you better&rdquo;.&nbsp;Generally what happens is they seem interested, but not actively interested.&nbsp;It becomes a merry-go-round of, &ldquo;Hey!&nbsp;How are you?&rdquo;&nbsp;&ldquo;We should hang out soon!&rdquo;&nbsp;Then I don&rsquo;t hear from them or see them for another month or two. &nbsp; The conversation continued as I asked him what I might be doing wrong.&nbsp;Why am I &ldquo;scary&rdquo;?&nbsp;As we drove west on the 10 he glanced over at me then turned forward again and began, &ldquo;Kindra, I don&rsquo;t think there is anything wrong with you, and I don&rsquo;t think you are doing anything wrong.&nbsp;You are doing your job of raising your wonderful daughter.&nbsp;You have your businesses, and your day job &ndash; you also own your own home.&nbsp;Maybe those things intimidate them &hellip; but to the right guy, none of those things will matter.&rdquo; &nbsp; His words were like a big warm fuzzy blanket just out of the dryer. &nbsp; &ldquo;In my opinion, the best thing you can do is to find a person who loves you for exactly what you are.&nbsp;Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person will still think that the sun shines out your ass.&nbsp; &nbsp; That&rsquo;s the kind of person that&rsquo;s worth sticking with.&rdquo; &nbsp; -Mac MacGuff &ldquo;Juno&rdquo; Also featured in Bakotopia magazine, issue 21, 2-7-08 en-us <p><i>&quot;It's the glasses.&quot;</i>&nbsp;&nbsp; That's&nbsp;the only&nbsp;explanation I ever got, lol.&nbsp; In high school, I was told that I was too goody to ask out, or too innocent.&nbsp; The glasses were the overall reason for this assumption.&nbsp; There is a fine line between being confident and being&nbsp;dominant.&nbsp; Guys&nbsp;don't like to be told&nbsp;what&nbsp;to do, and where to go too often, or the opposite, to reassure too much. Us girls don't like that much, either.&nbsp; But, when it comes down to it, the girls with glasses are taken, for the most part, on the assumption that&nbsp;they&nbsp;are too good to bother with for long--<i>not fun</i>.&nbsp; We can deal with it, or make up for it by smiling and laughing a little bit more, lol.&nbsp; The glasses make us smart, right away, so we can be all the ditz we want to be for the hell of it, haha.&nbsp; But, don't change.&nbsp; Be who you are.&nbsp; Just have fun doing it :)</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> http://www.bakotopia.com/home/Blog/Kindra79/20430/#c_189184 http://www.bakotopia.com/home/Blog/Kindra79/20430/#c_189184 <p><i>&quot;It's the glasses.&quot;</i>&nbsp;&nbsp; That's&nbsp;the only&nbsp;explanation I ever got, lol.&nbsp; In high school, I was told that I was too goody to ask out, or too innocent.&nbsp; The glasses were the overall reason for this assumption.&nbsp; There is a fine line between being confident and being&nbsp;dominant.&nbsp; Guys&nbsp;don't like to be told&nbsp;what&nbsp;to do, and where to go too often, or the opposite, to reassure too much. Us girls don't like that much, either.&nbsp; But, when it comes down to it, the girls with glasses are taken, for the most part, on the assumption that&nbsp;they&nbsp;are too good to bother with for long--<i>not fun</i>.&nbsp; We can deal with it, or make up for it by smiling and laughing a little bit more, lol.&nbsp; The glasses make us smart, right away, so we can be all the ditz we want to be for the hell of it, haha.&nbsp; But, don't change.&nbsp; Be who you are.&nbsp; Just have fun doing it :)</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>Sistersheree&nbsp;- you rock!&nbsp; Another very&nbsp;wonderful friend of mine wrote me back yesterday after I was lamenting a bit, &quot;Hang in there darling. The universe has a plan for these things... why, imagine how much worse things could be if your independence was lost to the wrong person. Stay strong and take care of that lovely child of yours... I suspect things are going to get a whole lot warmer and weirder on this little planet in our lifetimes.&quot;&nbsp; I know this, and that's why I've not &quot;settled&quot;, but if does feel good to hear it from others like yourself and him.&nbsp;</p> <p>LOL, Trish!&nbsp; Girl, that's what I used to hear in highschool when I was after the &quot;bad boys&quot; - now I've found that a lot of men find girls in glasses sexy hot.&nbsp; ;)&nbsp; Flaunt um if you got um!&nbsp; Gotta love a girl who can pull off that sweet look, with her hair tied up, then can whip it down and give you a run for you money, haha!&nbsp;</p> http://www.bakotopia.com/home/Blog/Kindra79/20430/#c_189316 http://www.bakotopia.com/home/Blog/Kindra79/20430/#c_189316 <p>Sistersheree&nbsp;- you rock!&nbsp; Another very&nbsp;wonderful friend of mine wrote me back yesterday after I was lamenting a bit, &quot;Hang in there darling. The universe has a plan for these things... why, imagine how much worse things could be if your independence was lost to the wrong person. Stay strong and take care of that lovely child of yours... I suspect things are going to get a whole lot warmer and weirder on this little planet in our lifetimes.&quot;&nbsp; I know this, and that's why I've not &quot;settled&quot;, but if does feel good to hear it from others like yourself and him.&nbsp;</p> <p>LOL, Trish!&nbsp; Girl, that's what I used to hear in highschool when I was after the &quot;bad boys&quot; - now I've found that a lot of men find girls in glasses sexy hot.&nbsp; ;)&nbsp; Flaunt um if you got um!&nbsp; Gotta love a girl who can pull off that sweet look, with her hair tied up, then can whip it down and give you a run for you money, haha!&nbsp;</p> <p>I think your friend is right in his summation. I think a lot of guys now days (i'm only guessing here) Are not very assertive these days. I don't think men&nbsp; are like they used to be, take charge, of course in a&nbsp; non threating way. Now my ex, who stragely looks somewhat like you tend to be more aggressive. She had the&nbsp; need to be alpha dog, Went&nbsp; on to try out to be a BPD officer, Couldnt' pass the POST test twice and didn't pass, tried the Sheriif dept and didn't pass. So, she became a BPD dispatcher. She needed a job that would define her. She had some serious control issues. Especially when she was an assignment editor at a local TV station, Mark Christian from KERO about&nbsp; Brandy at KGET sometime. Anyway, You don't see to be &quot;scary to me&quot; I think soemguys get scared when a woman has her self together, especially when they aren't. And the phone tag thing? or the offers of&nbsp; wanting to get to know the guy and he's not following up? Probably means he's hit someone else or&nbsp; others and&nbsp; sadly isn't into you enough to quit all the rest. IE: has grown up yet. Or, he's wanting to get into your panties, he just knows your too smart&nbsp;and would figure that out. realll quick.</p> <p>These are just my guesses, but hey I could be wrong. It's not like i'm Hitch er anything (yes, will smith reference)</p> http://www.bakotopia.com/home/Blog/Kindra79/20430/#c_189320 http://www.bakotopia.com/home/Blog/Kindra79/20430/#c_189320 <p>I think your friend is right in his summation. I think a lot of guys now days (i'm only guessing here) Are not very assertive these days. I don't think men&nbsp; are like they used to be, take charge, of course in a&nbsp; non threating way. Now my ex, who stragely looks somewhat like you tend to be more aggressive. She had the&nbsp; need to be alpha dog, Went&nbsp; on to try out to be a BPD officer, Couldnt' pass the POST test twice and didn't pass, tried the Sheriif dept and didn't pass. So, she became a BPD dispatcher. She needed a job that would define her. She had some serious control issues. Especially when she was an assignment editor at a local TV station, Mark Christian from KERO about&nbsp; Brandy at KGET sometime. Anyway, You don't see to be &quot;scary to me&quot; I think soemguys get scared when a woman has her self together, especially when they aren't. And the phone tag thing? or the offers of&nbsp; wanting to get to know the guy and he's not following up? Probably means he's hit someone else or&nbsp; others and&nbsp; sadly isn't into you enough to quit all the rest. IE: has grown up yet. Or, he's wanting to get into your panties, he just knows your too smart&nbsp;and would figure that out. realll quick.</p> <p>These are just my guesses, but hey I could be wrong. It's not like i'm Hitch er anything (yes, will smith reference)</p> <p>Thanks for this great article for Bakotopia magazine! </p> http://www.bakotopia.com/home/Blog/Kindra79/20430/#c_192328 http://www.bakotopia.com/home/Blog/Kindra79/20430/#c_192328 <p>Thanks for this great article for Bakotopia magazine! </p> <p>Never settle for less than w hat you deserve. Thats what simportant:)</p> http://www.bakotopia.com/home/Blog/Kindra79/20430/#c_197270 http://www.bakotopia.com/home/Blog/Kindra79/20430/#c_197270 <p>Never settle for less than w hat you deserve. Thats what simportant:)</p> <p>oops that was me Amy</p> http://www.bakotopia.com/home/Blog/Kindra79/20430/#c_197271 http://www.bakotopia.com/home/Blog/Kindra79/20430/#c_197271 <p>oops that was me Amy</p> <p>That was her, Amy!</p> http://www.bakotopia.com/home/Blog/Kindra79/20430/#c_197303 http://www.bakotopia.com/home/Blog/Kindra79/20430/#c_197303 <p>That was her, Amy!</p>