Bakotopia

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My Life Story

My path to literary stardom has been a struggle from birth.  I was the 19th child in a family of 20 children.  Due to my withered arm, my family abandoned me in the wild cherry orchards of Sunnyvale, California, where I lived off of nothing but overripe cherries and raw squirrel meat.  The cherry juice permanently stained my face.  People keep calling it a strawberry mark, but I say, "Hey, you eat what you want, and I'll eat what I want."

At the age of 20, I sold a kidney and bought a computer.  Due to my withered limb I had to add key extenders to half of the keyboard in order to type.  I wrote 38 novels and 647 spec scripts.

Around this time, a woman with three fat children in her cart ran over both my feet in a WalMart, crushing all my toes but one, the small toe on my left foot.  I wrote a screenplay about it, which was stolen and rewritten.  Only the title remained.  I never saw a cent.

I tried to send out my manuscripts to publishers, but they kept getting intercepted by some insane stalker who left the same irritating note in my mailbox, over and over.  They all started, "Dear Writer..."

I had to burn all my remaining manuscripts to keep warm through the harsh California winters until only EVE remained, so I became a prostitute in order to raise the money to self-publish it.

User Name:Aurelio
Member Since:May 07, 2007
Last Signed In:July 05, 2008
Profile Views:53
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