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Loose Lips: I Kiss AND Tell!
Topics: sex, Bakersfield, Loosie Lovelace, G.P., Bakotopia, columnist, advice
Posted by LoosieLovelace Fri May 18, 2007 18:38:36 PDT
Viewed 1343 times
0 responses 4 comments Introducing our resident sexpert, Loosie Lovelace! Got a problem with your mojo? Want to rave about yours? Need advice? Loosie's here for YOU! Send her your comments and questions!

PLEASE SEND HER QUESTIONS!
YOU WILL BE ANONYMOUS! WE PROMISE! DON'T BE SHY! LET'S HEAR WHAT LOOSIE HAS TO SAY ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS!e-mail: loosie.lovelace@gmail.com

SEX…it’s astonishing how this small, three letter word can evoke an explosion of emotions.  Allure, confidence, pleasure, anxiety, guilt…the list could go on forever, unlike the stamina of some people.  And although a traditionally conservative environment surrounds Bakotopians, Bakotopia has undergone some significant social changes.  In our community, a balance now exists between the conservative and the liberal views of sex and sexuality. Let’s face it: Bakotopians are not as conservative as we once were and an outlet of public exchange and debate is overdue and unavoidable!

But first, let me go ahead and introduce myself.  My name is Loosie Lovelace.  And along with many of the folks skimming through the pages of this brand new and awesome alternative pub, I too, was born and raised in Bakersfield.  I was also spoon fed the same conservative values revolving around sex.  Not to say that a conservative outlook is wrong or bad, but sex and sexuality is based on an individual’s personal preference.  And let me tell you, my personal preference for pleasure began at an extremely early age after discovering an alternative use for the jet in the Doughboy pool.

But instead of experiencing the shame, guilt, and denial as many of my GenX buds, I was filled with curiosity.  And this curious cat is still purring.  Since then, I have maintained a never-ending journey to unearth all of humans’ secret (or not-so-secret) sexual practices and desires.  It has become a deep passion of mine that I fully embrace and has made me the woman I am today. So nowadays, I no longer adhere to the conservative values such as sex is an act reserved for marriage, that sex should be reserved between heterosexual couples, or that nonmonogamous sexual encounters are bad things.  However, sex with animals?? The jury’s still out on that one.  Granted, that’s just me.

Nonetheless, I feel there are many others out there in Bakotopia that share my liberal outlook on sex and sexuality and I would like to invite both sides to speak their mind. Besides, healthy debate is what makes a topic, especially sex, that much more interesting!

But let’s set the record straight! In no way do I hold a Ph.D in Sex Education or Sociology (although, who knows what the future holds).  However, I am a UCLA graduate and I took full advantage of the amazing classes the university had to offer, not to mention the many collegiate “intercourses” in which I participated.  I have done extensive research within the arenas of sexual psychology, human sexuality, evolutionary psychology, sexually transmitted diseases, contested sexualities, and erotica…all either in the classroom or on my free time.  Therefore, anything published from here on out is my own opinion formed through numerous readings, discussions, and experiences.  Okay…now let’s get back to business!

There are a few reasons why I felt the need to write this column: communication, tolerance, and the fact that sex is just fun and fun to talk about!  Personally, I believe there could be more communication when it comes to talking about sex, in and out of the bedroom.  Thinking about sex is fun, but talking about it can make it that much more enjoyable.  In order to recognize and respect the ideas and choices of others, these ideas and choices need to be discussed.  That’s what I hope to provoke when I write these articles and have them published: intellectual discourse interpersonally and in a group setting.

Not to say sex isn’t shoved in our faces with sexual images on TV or sexual lyrics in music on an everyday basis, but much of the time they are littered with sexual negativity when I think sex should be celebrated.  The last thing I want to hear about is how good the woman looked in a sexy ad or how much this person wants to screw this person.  I want to talk about sex with substance.  By open communication with friends, family, coworkers, and acquaintances, I find that I give more respect to an opposing or differing point of view and it allows me to make informed decisions that are mutually beneficial for all parties involved.  Besides, wouldn’t it be awesome to walk down the streets of Bakotopia and hear someone engaged in a discussion about sex? I think I would have to stop and eavesdrop, or better yet, participate with my own stance on the subject.

In addition, I have found that communication brings tolerance.  I find it funny to think that people aren’t tolerant of different things, especially change.  However, times they are a-changing and I believe tolerance of different sexual orientations and practices has been an issue here in Bakotopia.  Although, like I said before, we are not as conservative as we once were, many people tend to forget there is a gray shaded area when it comes to sex.  Some people like bondage and S&M, some people like pornography, some people like vanilla sex, and some people like people of the same sex.  Life is not just black and white.  So hopefully, by having this open forum, I can stress the idea of toleration of peoples’ choices, no matter how different they may be from yours.  And maybe, just maybe, we can get rid of some of those people I find at the downtown bars that say, “Oh, what are they doing here? They should be at The Casa or The Mint.” I always want to say, “What do you have against a fun bar?”

Now folks, I have definitely saved the best reason to have a sex column for last: plain and simple, it’s fun! I have so much fun talking about sex that I want to share it with each and every one of you. Whether I’m talking about the intimacy, connection, companionship, or romance people can receive from sex or whether I’m talking about the sheer, unapologetic pleasure that sex creates, I get turned on! And for the simple fact that human beings are one of the few creatures in this world that have sex for fun makes writing about it so much more interesting.  According to numerous psychologists, and also including sex enthusiasts, this is what we’re supposed to be doing!  So hopefully, you enjoy sex as much as I do and I hope you enjoy these upcoming articles!

This is how I want all of you Bakotopians to come out and participate. I have set up an email strictly for this column: loosie.lovelace@gmail.com. Please send me any questions and comments you may have and I’ll peruse through them and write on the ones I think best.  Also, if I believe there are emails that definitely have different arguments on the same topic, I’ll forward those to the editor and ask if those could be listed in place of my article (like I said, I encourage everyone to speak their mind).  Lastly, I may get a wild hair and do a “Sex in the City” style article, where I hear something interesting and just have to write on the topic.  Remember, anything goes and I can’t wait to get all of your responses! Thanks!

-Loosie Lovelace, G.P.

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Comment From: dobbler

Go forth and be fruitful then!!! Comment From: jr

This could get interesting Comment From: HOBAG

I can so relate to this! Just what we NEED in Bakersfield... A sex column!!! I would definitly keep coming back for that!!! Hope to read more soon! SMART AND INTRESTING ARTICLE! Comment From: missbaby

thank you thank you thank you.... finally! i agree with you on everything!