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Roommates from Hell!
Topics: roommate, HELL, Bakersfield, Bakotopia, blog, slob, Sloppy, Crazy
Posted by seafaire Tue Jul 17, 2007 14:59:22 PDT
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ROOMMATES FROM HELL!

Trust me on these sad stories because they all are true. 

After these two experiences I decided NO MATTER WHAT including-- living in a dumpster-- I had it with roommates. What was so weird was that money was NOT the issue -- batshit crazy made up for it.

The first girl I roomed with was working with me at a small office. 

She seemed smart, funny, serious about keeping her job so when she found a cute two-bedroom duplex, I thought -- "Why not?"  That was the last reasonable thought I had for the three sorry months I was stuck with her. It seems her entire family had a running tab at several therapist's offices and pharmacies to cover all their constant psychiatric emergencies. Like the time her younger brother got up from an argument at the family dinner table walked into the den, pulled a rifle out of the gun cabinet and shot himself in the chest / shoulder. 

I get the hysterical telephone call from the family and when I tell my roommate, "Yes, he's seriously injured, in surgery but going to make it, and her family would like her to meet them at the hospital immediately!" Next thing, she's starts shrieking -- this was the first time I REALLY knew what that sounded like!  Next she starts cursing and screaming about her father and how it's all his fault and I'm talking LOUD cursing, so the neighbors are pounding on the wall.  She had spit and drool all down the front of her blouse.  For her final number she goes to the refrigerator and starts throwing out bottles and jars of ketchup, mayonnaise, mustard, steak sauce, pickles, eggs, milk, cottage cheese, etc. all towards the walls.  The kitchen began looking like some abstract art picture and I'm hiding behind the couch because I don't know what's coming next.  When she can't find anything else to throw, she grabs her purse, runs out the door into the car, and she's gone.

For about eight hours I waited for her to come back, cool off and help me clean up this unbelievable mess.  I didn't see her for five DAYS because she became out of control again at the hospital and was locked up -- involuntarily for three days. The family forgot  to tell me that part.  Amazingly enough after cleaning up the horrible mess she made, I wasn't looking for her either.     

After that I tried to screen roommates more carefully and found out that when people are crazy their friends will lie to you just to "spread the wealth" of putting up with a mentally unstable person around.   This girl was so pretty.  She also had a six year old daughter--no idea who the baby-daddy was and that made it a real problem.  Because even though the roommate was beautiful, had a terrific job with a bright future and a darling daughter, her true soul mate was death.  This chick was fascinated with dying, had tried to commit suicide multiple times before and had missed everytime.  She refused to go to therapists, wouldn't take medication.  She wanted to die like I want to meet Johnny Depp.  Of course, none of her friends mentioned her little hobby and I walked into this mess like a true sucker.

The first time -- out of the clear blue sky -- no warnings, didn't seem depressed--she drinks a large bottle of Pine-Sol.  I come home from work, the six year old is covered with Pine-Sol vomit and in the bathroom -- roommate chickie is wrapped around the bottom of the toilet looking a lovely shade of light blue but breathing.  Call the ambulance, wring my hands, try to call the family and THEY HANG UP ON ME!  Apparently they are so tired of the game they won't even come and get the little girl!  So--we --me and the little girl--find out that Mommy's gonna live again but be locked up for three days in the psych ward and we go home.  I'm cleaning up this mess and the poor little girl is whimpering beside me and the smell of pine is so overwhelming -- I start talking Christmas.  Couldn't think what else to do and we spent an evening singing Christmas Carols in a house reeking of Pine-Sol.     

SO chick comes home, promises me -- if I stay -- she'll get counseling, do anything but please don't leave because of her daughter.  For some strange reason, the kid likes and trusts me and is starting to eat again.  It seems having a Mom in love with death can be hard on the emotions and appetite of a six year old.  But you know how it is--true love will always win out.  The next date with death turned out to be her dream date and was a killer.

I never knew what would set her off.  She seemed to be doing good, but she always seemed to be doing good.,  She wasn't a goth, vampire nutcase - she just didn't want to live.  So for her final escapade she took 25 empty capsules, dumping out the medicine that was inside and refilled them with Drano.  She then drank them down with a pint of liquor, went to the top of the tallest building in town she could find, and jumped off.

The police came to the door because she had kindly left her ID on her body.  Her daughter was clinging to me, so I lied and said she was my kid.  I couldn't let them take her away in a police car.  I didn't know what to do first. Call the family?  What about her daughter?

So I did the only reasonable thing at the time.  Me and the kid sat down for a last lunch of grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup -- the little girl's favorite.  I made sure she was clean and her hair nicely brushed and nice with little barrettes.  She had her favorite My Little Pony plus a backup Troll doll, just in case.  I called her family one last time.  For once, they agreed to come over and get the little girl.  A hug, a kiss for each cheek, her backpack packed with clean clothes, little books and an extra toy and off she went.  I never went to the funeral.  I never saw the little girl again. 

The next roommate I had was my husband.  

 

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Comment From: matt

Damn, that is crrrrazzyy, to say the least. How could you survive a double whammy like that? Is your husband cool? I hope!! Thanks for that. Kind of a hard act to follow, but I'm sure people got more stories like this out there.. Comment From: qwejibo

I've been lucky but the guy in the post below has to win the prize...

http://www.wyseguys.com/shi... Comment From: zero

wow, sucks for that chick.and thoes kids.ah man, i remember back in my days of depression. It sucks. Nothing you do changes the shitty way you feelwhy was i depressed?! i had everything i could have wanted/needed. all the pot i could smoke. all the top tech electronics, but for some reason that was not enough (possibly beacuse i am not a material person right?).But yeah, so so glad to be out of that. Congrats on surviving something like that though.the worst roommate i had was back when i went to ITT. The dude was this ultra-anime asian dude. We werent too close, but close enough for him to tell me he had all this great porno. I looked, and it was all ANIMATED!!!!! boo....from then on, i couldnt take him seriously. And him goin off to anime conventions and spending thousands of dollars didnt help his case any.  And the wierd thing is he NEVER NEVER had anyone over, cept for his parents. He mostly kept to himself though, so i wouldn't even really call him a roommate from hell....just a really wierd one.... Comment From: mentoburu2

I never understood anime porn...yikes. Comment From: lovedby2cs

Damn, i was going to post what i thought was a crazy story, but, um, i don't think mine comes close. Comment From: jenniferjuniper

Yeah- I was going to write about my exhusband........ but this has to be the worst thing anyone has gone through. He deserves the award! Comment From: regulators

Shanizzle! Comment From: likhy2

Holy psycho therapy, Batman...that is some traumatizing sh*t to have to endure. I'm gonna go pray now..."Holy Mary Mother of God..."