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Student Body Aches
Topics: education, csub, Bakersfield, Bakotopia, student, college, social, groups
Posted by Malface Fri Aug 24, 2007 16:38:08 PDT
Viewed 313 times
0 responses 3 comments Location: 9001 Stockdale Hwy., Bakersfield, CA 93311

Obviously this is very subjective, however I am sure that many students at CSUB will agree with at least half of this. I probably could have elaborated on the type of students you will run into for pages upon pages, but I felt like this was a simple breakdown. Enjoy.

When preparing to enter college, there are some circumstances and more likely, some people, who you are not prepared to encounter. In my two year stint at CSUB I have realized that each class is made up of the same sorts of people, and as far as I am concerned, many of them clearly cannot adapt to a college setting or do not understand what should and should not be addressed in the classroom.

There seem to be a few main categories for students attending CSUB (obviously everyone does not apply): very rich and mildly retarded, very poor and ridiculously intelligent, mediocre all around, and the older re-entry students. You can always tell the “very rich and mildly retarded” students in the first week. These students are dressed in designer clothing, sporting their Dolce and Gabbana sunglasses indoors and of course freshly tanned and asking fifty billion questions, all of which were previously answered by the professor. These students in particular have no idea what is going on at any point in the lecture and often insert laughable questions such as, “Are fossils animals that got stuck?” If this does occur, do not panic, simply do as I do and laugh aloud while making more doodles in your notebook of them being hit by meteors.

For the sections of the class that are very poor and intelligent, the former students are particularly annoying, but most of the poor and intelligent students remain relatively quiet or ask for clarification only on significant issues. Some of these students, however, clearly delight in taking advantage of the stupidity and/or ignorance of the other students by asking them questions they know the other students cannot even begin to grasp. I see many of them, with false modesty, showing their grades to the other students and offering them help that they will only half-heartedly give.

There is not much to say about the mediocre students, because they are well, mediocre. They get their work done and leave. Most of the time you do not even notice these students until you are grouped with them in a project. Their grades are ordinary, their input is average, and they rarely make waves.

Though I am sure we are all happy for anyone to go to college, old re-entry students can be very irritating students to come across. Their rolling backpacks always make quite a racket as they enter any classroom, often rumbling as they make their way across the tile. Before they get to the point of their questions, there are often narratives about their children, husbands and wives, and their occupations. I do not care about your sick kid, your abusive husband, or what you did in the military, share that somewhere else, preferably with a counselor. They ask as many questions about a topic as possible and insert almost as many compliments to the professor in a class period.  Attempting to get a better education is respectable, but being a suck-up is not.

Many of the students at CSUB cannot comprehend that this is college and that getting a good education is supposed to be a little difficult. Begging a professor to change your grade, not give homework, or change the topic of your paper is not going to work. College is not merely and extension of high school. Too many of the students at this school are virtual children. Mommy will not be stopping by with milk and cookies. On a side note, I also work on campus and notice parents doing a majority of tasks that their adult children should be doing themselves. If your mommy or daddy is calling about your admissions process, financial aid status, or what books you need for class, you should be calling your damn self. Grow up because the education process is only going to get more difficult, and hopefully your mommy and daddy will not be picking up the slack.

 

Originally printed in Bakotopia Magazine, issue 10, 9-7-07

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Comment From: dweaver3

ha! this is hilarious! because it's true - especially about rich and retarded students. you have me rolling malface! i fit in the re-entry student category but i sure don't have a backpack with wheels or regale as many people as possible with stories about my son :) it's crazy that parents work so hard to do everything for their kids, like you see through your job on campus. Comment From: tashkajones

oh man... well done.... i fit into overlapping parts of your catagories... lol... older but not returned... i've just been there forever... so i don't even have a backpack... just a notebook... lol.... interesting though because i see these kids you speak of but not in most of my classes... until this quarter... i have a mixed majors course that is open to 3 majors... and i tell you what... one of those majors (not goona say which one) should require more pre-reqs cause they just all jumped into the retarded group... lol. Comment From: Daveed

Obviously, Malface, you've left out that one key "sort of people" who have nothing better to do but laugh aloud at other students while making doodles about them in their notebook. Since when did the "education process" become less about studies and more about what other students are wearing, carrying their books in, or even how much money their parents make? As you said, perfectly candidly, yourself: "College is not merely an extension of high school." College is about the free exchange of ideas, and that is open to all "sorts of people." And yes, even the mildly retarded, mediocre, and ridiculously intelligent ones. Maybe if you spent less time doodling and disparaging others by criticizing their personal study habits and demeanors you'd have already realized that.