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The First Annual Bitchies
Topics: Bakersfield, Bitchies, theatre, theater, 2007, awards
Posted by Bakontributor Mon Jan 7, 2008 12:22:14 PST
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0 responses 4 comments The First Annual Bitchies
Honesty is the best policy for this inaugural award ceremony recognizing the highlights and lowlights of local theatre in 2007



By Susan Ochoa aka Brutally Honest Arts Bitch of Bakersfield, Bakotopia.com contributor

Hey folks.

I just got me a brand new used computer so I’m back online just in time for the first BITCHIES: The awards ceremony that isn’t a cheap and transparent excuse to raise money - the awards ceremony that recognizes excellence and “suckitude” in all groups, not just one - the awards ceremony that you can enjoy in your underwear.

These awards go to shows that went up between January and December of 2007.


Let’s start with the fun categories:


Biggest Waste of Time - “History of Rock and Roll” part two. I often wondered what would happen if the most challenging and thought provoking director in town were to just phone it in. Thank you, Roger Mathey, now I know.

Biggest Waste of Talent - Justin Brooks directing “Footloose.” But then he’s made a career of giving bad plays good direction.

Biggest Whiners - The cast of “Hair.” Seriously you guys made the cast of “Rocky Horror” look mature.

“Oh, no. We had a show that was well attended and everyone enjoyed it but BHAB so we’ll whine and stamp our feet.”

Boo hoo, get some perspective.

Big Fish Award - This award goes to the performer who is talented enough to leave town and make a career but for some reason has decided to stay. The first annual Big Fish award goes to - Amy Hall. Seriously Amy. Leave town. You’re better than this.

Worst Comedy Group - Hellkat. Just like R.A.T., but less subtle, less original and less funny.


Play I’d Wish They’d Stop Doing - “The Vagina Monologues.” Congratulations Empty Space with your constant barrage of vagina related activity you’ve succeeded in making me hate my own vagina. You’ve over exposed the vagina. If I never hear another person say “vagina” again I will be very happy. And what is truly sad is that your constant vaginal discussion has led to two other productions in Kern County this year alone!!! Seriously, Bakersfield College did it and Tehachapi Community Theatre did it, too! I’m all vagged out!

Performer I Want To See More of in 2008 - Jen Raven. Come out from R.A.T.’s shadow.


Now for the less fun categories:

Best Set- “Music Man,” BMT

Best Tech - No one really cares they just give you tech folk awards so you'll keep doing what you do for free.

Best New Show - “Project Ghost,” Empty Space.

Best Score - “True Tales 3,” Empty Space.

Best Musical Performance - Veronica Suerber, “True Tales 3,” Empty Space.


Best Supporting Actress - Tracy Herda, Kern Shakespeare Festival.

Best Supporting Actor - Brian Brown, “Rocky Horror,” BCT.

Best Actress - Fred, “Sylvia,” BCT.

Best Actor - Brandon Turner, “Last Days of Judas Iscariot,” Empty Space.


Best Director - Bob Kempf, “Street Car Named Desire,” Spotlight Theatre.

Best Comedy Group - Blacklist.


Best Show No One Saw - “Sylvia,” BCT.

Best Show - “The Last Days of Judas Iscariot,” Empty Space.

Story originally printed in Bakotopia magazine, issue 19, 1-10-08

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Comment From: jenraven

Every arts scene needs a brutally honest arts critic. I'm glad the BHAB is back in business! Comment From: SamG

Well, despite the BHAB's best efforts to discourage some local performers, there is still a strong sense of community and support in the theatre scene, which was evident at the recent Empty Space Awards. For lists of nominees and winners (voters included than 40 committed TES production attendees), you can check out the TES Myspace... Comment From: matt

I doubt BHAB meant to discourage actors. I think as a fan and supporter, it's good to hear different feedback, even if it borders on the ludicrous. To even take the time to put something together like this, definitely shows they attend shows attentively. I thoroughly enjoyed Hair. SamG was fantastic. I'm a musician, so I know all about backstage drama. As long as the the show is great, who cares who whines? Comment From: SamG

Matt, I think criticism is wonderful and necessary - it inspires people to work harder and grow as artists. However, this particular brand of criticism doesn't seem to promote any sort of growth or encouragement, from what I've seen... that's the only thing that worries me.