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Today there is a tiny robot walking down the aisles. The girls following it are claiming it is for spying - but you can hear it's little robotic joints revving on the other side of the floor, not much of a spy I say! The thing has passed me several times now and it strongly resembles...
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"Stimulate the nipple"
More famous phrases straight from the Gerbil's mouth.
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Well, who’s to say that I’m actually awake? Regardless, I do have Foldgers in my cup. Today is one of those snooze my alarm mornings. The kind of morning where I kick my covers all over and beat my pillow. I don’t care if my hair is a mess, it can be...
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Good morning!
*Ducking as random objects fly by my head*
I snoozed my alarm for 15 minutes this morning before forcing myself out of bed to quickly take a shower, pop my happy pills, and then race to work. As I pulled into the parking garage I felt the familiar feeling in...
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"Lucy Lu has smelly poo" and "Timmy Turtle doesn't know his girlfriend gave him gonorrhea"
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It's a sad sad morning in my little cubicle world. THEY have blocked myspace. I actually could care less except the one saving grace I've had lately was "talking" to another disgruntled cubicle dweller via the myspace mail system.
I better go pour myself a cup of coffee so...
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"Cubicle Dweller, what's astroglide?"
I slowly looked up and across my cubicle at the Gerbil who is looking at me very questioningly.
"Um, do you really want to know?"
"Yes, I need to know"
I smile and motion "come here" with my finger. She...
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This morning as I sat down and turned my computer on, almost immediately a smell invaded my nostrils and made my stomach turn. I thought to myself, "What is that?!"
Loudly I said, "Something is stinky"
My boss replied, "Sorry."
I joked, "Listen, I...
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Sabotage by the Beastie Boys is blaring from a newer model compact car as it rips into a parking garage and skids to a halt taking up two parking spaces … you still hear the music as your beloved Cubicle Dweller steps from the vehicle wearing her black trench coat, hair pulled up, some...
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Really?! No?! Are you serious?! Solved?! More like unsolved.
This morning the lovable cream filled Twinkie sent me this article. I'd now like to offer my responses to the article in BOLD letters.
Following are some common cubicle complaints you may have and...
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"Diarrhea"
"Diarrhea. What? Oh Diarrhea"
"Diarrhea"
"I'm NOT ever having kids, I did this home visit ... "
That is coming from the Gerbil and the cubie she shares a wall with.
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Once I went into a gift shop and saw the standard monkey figurine, but with an additional monkey covering his crotch - do no evil. I should have bought it, I've never seen another one.
Anyway, I was minding my own cubicle dwelling business when I walked into the kitchen to make myself a...
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I was diligently typing away when out of the corner of my eye I saw someone walking past wearing a hazmat suit. I continued to type for a moment and think to myself "What the hell?!" before I looked over at the person now standing next to my cube.
It was just the Fat Ghost fully...
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Arsehole client makes my Friday
Letter from arsehole client:
CD
I have just noticed you have moved the conference from the 9-11 to the following week 16-18
That is now a complete disaster for me, obviously I am going to have to try and rearrange my diary. I have clients going to the Rugby...
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Yesterday I read that PETA would be protesting in the nude downtown. Today I told my bosses about the protest and they said, "I didn't get that email, how did you find out?" I told them that I have my sources. Mwahahaha! When the Gerbil asked what PETA was, the...
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