Things change!  The "new" project house we bought in Kern City has pink tile in the bathroom.  Ugh.  But my wife found websites that proclaim "save the pink bathroom".  Good grief.  We now have something to worry about!  After we move that is.

Yeah Josey she vitually worshiped her job it was everything to her,. She was a praise hound  she loved people telling her what a  great  job she was doing. At that time we both worked for KGET

Twinkine I think going to school, and all those things you mentioned are fine if you and your spouse agree and the kids are older.  other wise it's something you might want to do before you get married,. mid stream is not always a good time to do all those things when your kids are  babies or  pre  teens they need thier parent well mostly their mom in  a nuturing way.  As for me my son didn't even know I left for a long time, I came got my son took him with me to my work  (after hours at the county building) and sat and editted tapes while  my son played in his play yard. I did what needed to be done but always keeping in mind  my family comes first. Truth be known I lost my job at KGET beause  my son came first, they were all  upset because I couldn't work a weekend  I had  my son on visitiation.  I let them know two weeks in advanced , you know the story after that, they look for anything to fire you on  and they did.   Mid way through my divorce  I was over worked and stressed, just what they were looking for. I was gone.

You are right Twinkie, in 1995 we lost out first child in the first tirmester  of pregnancy.  She had a hard time dealing with it as I was still supportive but we had some very harsh words to one another at some point. I don't take anything too serious in a heated discussion, apparently she did and  she lost respect for me.  that was the begining of the end. shortly after,  her job  and giddy little  single girl friend  became top priority. I think she knew what she was doing, she wasn't stupid. I asked her to work with me she chose not to. And eventually  she made her chose not to heed my warning I'd be leaving if things didn't  come together,.. looking back now I'm sorry I left,   well for the sake of my son. and only for his sake.  But then again I could be with someone that didn't respect me. My son would have saw this too eventually 

So yeah I saw the handwriting on the wall.

The Lord wants me to go take my lunch hour now and run home and eat leftover ceviche! ;)

The Lord works in mysterious ways...

John she chose her FRIENDS over you too. That alone shoulda told you something. She was probably using work to avoid facing the inevitable about your relationship. Just sayin'. To me it doesn't seem like a good ol case of "choosing work" over a relationship. It was way deeper than that and probably a precursor of things to come.

When I was dating a workaholic I was VERY supportive it was he who couldn't handle both a relationship and high demanding job. Some people just can't I just had to accept that. And now I am fine with it.

I on the other hand have managed to be a mother, employee, student and girlfriend and so far I think I have it balanced perfectly.

And thank you now I am craving ceviche mmm from Rubens they have some bomb ceviche.

In theory, you shouldn't have to choose between your love for work and your love for your family. It should somehow balance out. I hate when people are working and going to school and trying to balance that with having a family and they quit school because it's taking time away from their loved ones. Well guess what? That schooling is going to benefit your family in the long run in many ways. It's going to make you a more confident, happy person which will in turn translate into better relationships.

Also, if you have a supportive spouse/partner, they would support your work even if it took you away from home more than normal. As long as when you WERE home, you were a confident, loving, happy person. If your work sucks ass and you still choose it over your family it's going to translate into a bad relationship WITH your family.

my two cents.

Now that whole fish thing? I don't understand it BUT now I'm craving the ceviche I made on Sunday that's sitting in my fridge. Yummmmmm..

Wow, your ex was obsessed. That is horrible. I admit I have to take my work home with me sometimes but I try to wait until my son falls asleep to work I don't really have a choice being a single parent which I know you are well aware of.

Yesterday I had to make a tough decision between a trip I have been planning with my friends or working out of town for a our biggest client I hate letting my boss down so I did feel bad but I love my friends and refuse to let them down.

My client will eventually forget about me not going I don't think my friends will.

Joe your son is lucky to have a father like you. Its good he at least has one parent who understands the importance of "family time".

Msjosey I agree with you.

At the end of one's life at the person's funeral people will talk about how he was a good friend or good family man, not ol Bob yep he was a good worker.

Jobs come and go family may come and go but that's final when they do go. We should cherish them over everything. As I have with my son. My former wife didn't see this as important at the time I was with her and my son. Suddenly her job defined who she was, her friends did also, (they were single) I asked her on many occasions to change shift (which she could have) to work with me on our schedule. She felt being on and assignment desk at night when all the murders occurred was more important that being at home with her family. Not only that but when she rolled in after midnight (I was working two jobs and had my son with me on the job second job (we chose no day care) she brought company cell phones and police scanners with her. So my son and I had to heard that stuff going off all night. Mind you after midnight there was someone there at the station to man all those scanners, she didn't have to bring them home. Once again the importance of the job out weight her families relationship. And it suffered and eventually died.

So you like your job? You job is who you are? Don't expect a serious personal relationship, it's not going to happen. You have to compromise in anything in life. It can't always be all or nothing in some circumstances. Especially in your own personal happiness.

Shmill fish...

I know of a dill fish floating around out sea, its the dill of all dill fish.

True, there "are" - Flounders, sharks, whales, red snappers, piranhas, sting rays, dill fish...All similar to their human counterparts.

And some of them are weird and chose work over better things tsk tsk... I bet they regret it later.

Or did you mean there are a lot of fish in the sea? If so yes there is.

The world is full of people...

Normal people would choose a relationship. The others have their priorities mixed up.

When they are old and lonely their 'career' isn't going to keep them company or keep them warm in bed...